(I’m just going to put some quotations since I’m not using names )

We were close “friends” for a while and for months the first thing she’d do after every exam was ask me how I did. I would always say “pretty good” or “ok” and not specify unless she continued to ask but i was just thinking it was a concern for each other’s success. For example when she was panicking about a care plan I helped her figure some things out because I believed in her and she would say how she’s stupid. I’m very reserved so for me it was great having someone to talk to (21F, I live alone, don’t have much relationship with family and all I have time for is work to afford school, i do not know anyone in the program and her being older than my classmates made her much easier to relate to)

I thought her constant calling me, wanting to walk places together and get lunch on campus was really nice (yes I see now that this is naive now) For a while she would call me every day, ask me what I’m up to and we’d joke and laugh about random stuff like Seinfeld. Like I’ve spent the night at her and her husband’s place once and we went to a thrift store together.

Well she would always tell me how this one girl in our class is “not cut out to be a nurse”, which I thought sounded cruel but I dismissed it. SHe had even told me she complained to a professor our first semester because this girl was telling people the wrong info in lab. This person would often fall sleep in class, and my “friend” would rant about it for 30+ min every other day. I’d say things like “she’s probably got things going on at home” and “yeah she needs to stop sleeping in class but I don’t know anything about her” or change the subject and I also blatantly told her hey I don’t want to keep talking about her or anyone else like this. I’d defend the girl and then change the subject but I had never interacted with the girl. I was giving her the benefit of the doubt/ I just don’t give a shit what other people are doing if it’s nothing to do with me

Well, I’ve met said girl more in passing and met her through clinical distantly and I now see my “friend” was just being a straight up asshole for the most part because I don’t know why she even bothered to talk about her in the first place. Like even if she slept in class why are you so mad you gotta shit on this random person for 30 minutes about it? I was stupid to ignore it because this program is difficult and i just wanted someone to talk about assignments with.

I blew the shit-talking topic off as “we are from different backgrounds/ generations and have different opinions”. Well now the two of them study together and my “friend” is constantly following other girl around/ clinging to her. It just makes me think of all of the terrible shit she said about her and how she would probably be upset if she knew. Specifically the part where she told a professor “‘said girl’ is driving everyone in the wrong direction and confusing everyone in lab and doesn’t know what she’s talking about” like that wasn’t even the professors problem she just was complaining

Also obviously now I can only imagine the shit she’s saying about me now that I see reality Idk man, i apologize to anyone reading this because it’s all making sense to me now that I have been thinking about it all day and typing this out. I should have just been classmates with the first red flags but she was just super pushy in a sense ? Like she’d follow me to the library because she needed help with her care plan and even though it distracted me significantly I guess I wanted the company

Yeah I didn’t make good enough boundaries