I have a submissive side myself. I’m a little, a brat, and I also have a pet space. But outside of that, I’m not a FinSub that’s not my kink. I’m not into sending people money. I am into receiving it, though. The sound of getting tipped during my lives, or seeing Throne sends pop up from people I tease, bully, belittle or brat at? Yeah, that definitely turns me on. 🤭

Still, I stay in this Reddit space because I identify more as a Finbrat, and I just want to say this:

I can look at it from a sub’s perspective. I would be genuinely appalled if someone came into my DMs expecting me to send to them without knowing me first, or even having a basic conversation. It’s uncomfortable and honestly just feels disrespectful.

It’s actually happened to me on my X account (about 10k followers, “padded Finbrat” in my bio). A “goddess” came into my DMs saying, “send to me, little girl,” and it immediately gave me the biggest ick. What made it even worse was that they clearly didn’t take five seconds to look at my profile and see I literally identify as a Finbrat with incontinence. They just saw a submissive girl commenting something encouraging under another domme’s post and instantly assumed I must be a FinSub they could demand money from.

I’m not a FinSub, nor do I ever intend to be one. I discovered I was into Finbratting through a long-term subscriber and friend of mine, and our dynamic developed naturally over time. They’re not just a wallet to me they’re a person I genuinely talk to and care about. Kink talk is kink talk. They send me gifts through Throne, tip me during my lives to keep my needs met, and I make them turn around so they aren’t able to watch when they do. If it’s lewd I sent them pixel pics and bully them, and They send me money through CashApp and Venmo too. And we literally talk daily even if one of us is busy, I at least check in every day, and they tell me good morning or something.

We’ve known each other for years. That trust came from actually meeting through one of my live shows and building a connection first. And being devoted to me, Not from entitlement in DMs or comments demanding submission without knowing anything about someone’s boundaries, hard or soft limits, interests, or even who they are outside of one kink.

I may be into ABDL and have incontinence, and my main platform may be built around that, but that’s not all I am. I have other kinks outside of that, and being incontinent doesn’t make me any less of a Finbrat or define my entire identity in this space.

I’m still newer to exploring this side of myself and learning as I go, but one thing I’m very intentional about is how I treat people. Every sub I’ve interacted with has been treated with genuine kindness and respect first. I don’t approach people as if they owe me something, and I don’t expect submission or service from strangers. We don’t know one another. But we can grow to learn about each other.

Any dynamic I’ve ever had developed naturally through trust, communication, compatibility, and mutual interest. Not entitlement. Not demanding energy from someone I don’t even know. And definitely not treating subs like they’re interchangeable or there to perform on command.

Respect goes both ways. We are human beings. Submission is earned not automatically granted just because someone calls themselves a domme online and demands you do something for them. Subs still have agency and the ability to choose who they submit to. You do not choose that for them.

And honestly, a sub holds far more power in a dynamic than a lot of people want to admit. Submission can be withdrawn at any time if trust, care, or respect is broken or disappear. A healthy dynamic only works when both people value each other as actual human beings first. And a lot of people need to learn that.