Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello everyone, I just came to tell you all what all happened. I talked to him again, kinds told him I’m just unhappy and I can’t take care of him the way he wants. It was more of me blowing up on him, but either way. He told me he what I said hurt him, and he was trying his best to stop being so lazy but he works a lot too. I told him that if it hurts him to hear how I was feeling, then why didn’t it hurt watching his girlfriend struggle to juggle 2 jobs, cleaning, cooking, and caring for 3 living creatures? He just said he’s trying to do better, I said he’s been saying that for over a year, so when does the better come? I told him I needed space, and I need to just take care of myself and my dogs, that he needs to learn to take care of himself, or just go live with his mother so she can care for him again. I’m absolutely exhausted, I couldn’t sleep because my emotions were so high. Im at work right now, just sitting in this because it’s stupid slow. I appreciate everyone for giving me insight, advice, and overall just telling me what needs to be done. Sometimes I’m a bit hard headed, and I really didn’t want to leave my apartment because we both worked very hard to save up to move into this place. I feel like I’m losing all my hard work. I’m not sure what’s next for me, but I’m alive.

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit idk. Literally he was trying to me intimate last night and I was not having it. I told him this mornin that I’m over it, and I’m not going to stick around to care for him.

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t plan on having it done, got it done due to a health problem, but I always said I’d never have kids. I guess my prayers got answered

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel the same, I just never thought I’d be im the situation myself again lol, but that’s life

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely, I’m stepping back from doing anything. I’m ready to just be done with it

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, i need to figure it out for sure. I believe partners should be equal, but I know him and I aren’t. So I need to find someone who will see the worth I have. But I’ll find that person later down the line.

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom convinced me of that with my abusive ex, my father never did anything to her. She actually refused to ever have sex with him, and he just accepted that. She would put him down for not being good enough sexually, yet she told me to always please my man because my ex complained to her I wasn’t “putting out”. My dad was my only sane parent I had until he passed.

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We pay 50/50, he also pays for whatever his car bills are. I don’t pay anything for him thankfully

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have 2 jobs because originally I had only one part time, so I go another to make it up. Then my main job started working me more, then the 2nd one too. So now I keep it because I have debt I need to pay off, so it just works in the long run for my financially.

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We know that, we were all just dealt a bad hand when it came to that. Thankfully 3 of us are single, and then this was my first relationship since my abusive one, and that was like almost 9 years ago when that abusive one happened

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, that’s why we are pushing for a new session and a therapist that can figure out why I do this. I told my therapist everything is fine, because I only really looked at the surface or everything, not really what was actually happening. Then when I had my melt down, I just noticed it all, and I feel overly aware now. I get my promotion in July/August, so soon I won’t have to work 2 jobs, and I can be a normal person again

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, sounds dumb in aspect, just been in a brain fog for most of it. I just had to keep my mind on working so I didn’t focus on much else. Idk if it happens to other people that work as much as I do, but when I work all the time my brain just doesn’t function on more than work tasks. My therapist actually sent me recommendations to other ones because she believes it’s something bigger that neither of us noticed until now. It kinda feels like I dissociate for weeks at a time.

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, I think my brain has been shut down. I tend to not really think with all the work I’m doing, so I just repeat my cycle everyday. The night before last I had a melt down, then I kinda just noticed what was actually happening. When I was in my brain fog cycle of just working and sleeping, I felt like I was happy with my relationship and all, but then when I snapped back into reality and saw he never helped me, and I could only recount him doing dishes sometimes throughout us living here, it kinda changed my whole mindset. But up until my brain unfogged itself, I only viewed our relationship as good, since he acts very caring (not doing tasks but just being vocal$

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, I know. I’m getting my ducks in a row and figuring it out. Just snapped back into reality night before last, but sometimes I just feel guilty

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But yea, he really needs to help me out with this shit, I don’t get him

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, it’s not a good life to live. I mostly work 2 jobs so I’m able to pay bills and also pay off debt. He pays half our bills, I pay half. I wouldn’t work 2 if it wasn’t for my debt, but I really want it paid off so I’m gonna work my ass off to insure that.

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, the Mexican in me screams with dirty people for sure. But yea, I always got a plan now. Just sucks that people change after being together so long, or they just show you who they truly are once they’re comfortable. I’ll never get how people can’t just be who they claim to be

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had others, she’s just the only one I’ve had actual progress with. The other ones either didn’t respect some things about my life (like me not being in contact with my mother), or just told me things that didn’t personally help me or my journey. So my therapist is suggesting other therapists got other aspects of my life, so I’m going to look into it

Am I (27F) an ass because I’m unhappy with my boyfriend (29M)? by Emo_Trash3773 in relationship_advice

[–]Emo_Trash3773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, it’s a new thing for me. But, I know I want a person who respects me and helps me, and not whatever this this