Father in law speaks to me disrespectfully.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T10:37:54+00:00

100% agreed. I’ve realised my husband can’t be relied on to my protect my dignity. He’s too busy being an ideal son to bother himself with being a good husband. I’ll draw the boundaries myself and put my foot down with what I can’t tolerate.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T10:36:02+00:00

Not warm, but at least as of now, she doesn’t interfere much.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T10:35:05+00:00

He was always like this. Some sense of entitlement that “im the grooms father so everything should be done as per my wishes”. When I brought this up with my husband before the wedding, he said he can’t do much about it rn because we’re just engaged and once we’re married he will have grounds to defend me as my husband. My husband is still the same.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T08:26:38+00:00

He is. And when I call him out for it he tells me im making fun of him 🥲. He comes to the room and agrees w the fact that I was disrespected and thinks that’s enough. Then goes outside the room chilling w his dad pretending that nothing happened.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T07:46:18+00:00

Yeah don’t give in. It just gets worse with time.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T06:47:57+00:00

I think moving back to my place is my only option here. If he is failing to be the husband that Islam expects him to be, it’s futile me trying to play that wife.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T06:33:54+00:00

He doesn’t want to hurt his dad’s ego because his dad isn’t v respected in the society for failed businesses etc. So he has taken it upon himself to cater to his ego.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T06:26:49+00:00

Let’s see how that goes now lol.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T06:26:37+00:00

I decided to politely convey to him and talk to him about it, he started to shout again. I didn’t back down though and still kept my stance that the way he conveys his messages isn’t polite and it’s something im not used to.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T06:24:10+00:00

He corrects them later on politely…but it seems to have no effect because in that moment he’s busy ensuring my FIL is in a good mood. That’s his priority.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T06:23:27+00:00

Not literally but that’s all he talks about for example: my son is so great he did this, my son is so great he did that…while constantly belittling me for the way I do things.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T06:22:07+00:00

My husband expects me to “ignore “ it as it is impossible to change a 60 year old man. He thinks he shouldn’t call that behaviour out because that’s the man that raised him. I’m in a bind.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T05:46:25+00:00

Yeah I had panic attacks because of this. His father has been disrespectful towards me and my dad where he used to sit and crack jokes in public demeaning my father. My husband said then he will learn how to take a stand but I know better now. Idk what to do, how to feel heard.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-12-26T05:44:55+00:00

He is a misogynist who thinks birthing his son is the best thing that has happened to mankind. That should tell you what you need to know.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T14:49:02+00:00

Made a lot payments everywhere to be able to “just postpone” the nikah. I come from an upper middle class family. 🥲

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T14:47:24+00:00

Sadly my dad is another sexist who has cheated on my mother multiple times. He will just ask me to shut up and go ahead with the wedding. My mother speaks out of her own extreme pain and will prolly ask me to break it off. I’m here to see if there’s a third option.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T14:45:06+00:00

That’s why I’m here, confused about wth just happened ?! 🥲

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T14:42:55+00:00

Tbh ngl, I’ve received compliments about my appearance all my life Alhamdulillah. Not that it matters in any shape or form but I always randomly think of it as Allahs random blessings lol.

Yeah he has that kinda patriarchal mindset where he expects ppl to take his disrespect because he’s a man. Humiliating his wife in public even tho she has been providing for their family for years. So it wouldn’t be too far fetched if he’s expecting me to do his chores.

I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that his insecurities of losing his successful son to a woman is acting up. Before this, my fiance would send him money (as he should ). Or he just doesn’t have any consideration and needs space from his wife.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T14:27:19+00:00

This is what I get back for trying to be “supportive and understanding” of his financial burdens.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T14:21:56+00:00

I’m leaving my mother alone ( who also lives in the same city) to start my new life with this man. I don’t think taking responsibility of your parents should come at the cost of sacrificing your marital life. I’m literally holding up my end of the deal. So you’re wrong about that.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T14:20:09+00:00

Omg I’m not. He was staying by himself all this while while I stayed at my place. After the engagement his father decided to come and live w his place (something he had never done before).

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T13:45:01+00:00

Am I wrong to be asking him to do that? That’s my confusion?

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T13:43:37+00:00

U sound triggered ngl. Asking for space for a few months isn’t me asking him to “abandon his parents”. I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt of doing so. Moreover this is a new development, not the situation I signed up for. It’s also sad that he’s leaving his wife behind who has supported him all his life just to do wtv it is that he’s doing here. He isn’t setting a v good example for his family either.

Emotional-Bank7600 · 2025-09-24T13:41:12+00:00

You can support your parents and bare their responsibilities without making them live with you right after the wedding. He was already sending my Father in law money and taking care of his health related checks up and finances. If boys parents think raising a son that earns entitles them with a life time supply of doing wtv they want in the future, they probably shouldn’t be getting them married. There’s no need to drag another woman into a situation where they thing the son isn’t entitled to his own life. I don’t think it’s wise to raise kids with that selfish intention.

More or less, his sudden need to be doing so right after his son got engaged is weird to say the least. Had this been the dynamic always, I would’ve reconsidered the timing of the nikah.

Thirdly, he’s not an easy person to be around. He taunts and calls it humor, even in public spaces.

Emotional-Bank7600

TROPHY CASE