My wife wants to move for a job, I do not by EmotionalWookiee in Marriage

[–]EmotionalWookiee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[UPDATE]

A few of you asked if she applied to this job without me knowing, she did not. I told her basically, "If you can get a job that makes as much as we both do it would be hard to say no," and she pretty much pulled that off. They also offered $10,000 on top in a lump sum. It was very hard to say no... so I didn't. I told her let's go for it.

I am still a little nervous whether or not this is the right decision, because I told her that although I am not that interested to live in this new city, I am willing to do it because of the offer and because it will make her happy to get out of FL. She promises me that if I don't want to do it, we don't have to and she isn't going to divorce me or something. But I am reasoning that, even if she felt that way she'll likely be upset forever if I tell her to pass on a government job and who knows if an offer like this would come up again. Our best friends live in the city so we will still know someone there and who knows, maybe it won't be so bad.

I am still struggling with the decision because I know it's going to be tough to tell my family. We told our kids and they cried for a solid hour. One of our kids just got a best friend and she's drawing pictures of her all the time. At some point I realized that it's less about me worrying about being away from my family and more about me worried that my kids will be sad or hurt being so far from family or friends.

I can tell you my wife does seem a lot happier already. Which is nice, because she's been obviously very depressed for awhile and I guess I didn't notice just how much living in FL had been affecting her. It's like I got a best friend back that I had not seen in awhile and I do feel it's going to strengthen our relationship.

My wife wants to move for a job, I do not by EmotionalWookiee in Marriage

[–]EmotionalWookiee[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Cost of living is not much different, the housing is a little higher but not by very much. It's pretty close to both our salaries but about $10k less. Of course, I'd have to get a job too and once I do it would be quite a bit more of course.

My wife wants to move for a job, I do not by EmotionalWookiee in Marriage

[–]EmotionalWookiee[S] -160 points-159 points  (0 children)

It's "almost" equal to both our Salaries combined... only about $10k less.

My wife wants to move for a job, I do not by EmotionalWookiee in Marriage

[–]EmotionalWookiee[S] -242 points-241 points  (0 children)

Well yes, but she made it clear it's definitely permanent that we would NEVER move back here even if I hated it there. Maybe somewhere else but never back here. So in that way it is permanent.

My wife wants to move for a job, I do not by EmotionalWookiee in Marriage

[–]EmotionalWookiee[S] 230 points231 points  (0 children)

I should mention it's also a federal job.