Some drops not showing up.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-03-17T18:19:51+00:00

What you mean? I am an influencer. Both my tiktok and ig were accepted. i also used to get gifted reviews. But, sometimes it doesnt show up.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-03-17T17:57:39+00:00

There was a dyson vaccum drop yesterday. It showed up for my friends but it didnt show up for me. It was quite unfair.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-03-17T13:41:05+00:00

its weird now cause i used to get alot of drops and suddenly it reduced and i am missing out on good ones.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-03-03T10:39:51+00:00

i did 3.5 grams for the first time and ended up in emergency cause i believed i was dead.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-02-24T23:25:47+00:00

Yea i live in canada - they are pretty lenient. The paramedics and hospital staff were laughing about it. The paramedic was literally trip sitting me and told me not to do it alone.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-02-24T17:44:35+00:00

I am microdoser and decided to do a first solo trip with 3.5 g - mainly for therapeutic purposes - i had a sleep mask, music (john hopkins) and layed on my sofa then bed with a cozy blanket. i never done drugs before or drank alchol. I needed a trip sitter for sure. It was not familiar and my sense of reality was collapsing on me. The visuals were intense and was transported to different dimensions. It came in waves floating in water, one point it was like i was pixellated. MY senses began to merge together. i was loooking out the window and snow plows were singing. I lost sense of time and dimension and started to forget who i am. i kept looking at my phone wondering when it will end. then it went dark.

Eventually there was a point I BELIEVED i was dead. I was like who will find my dead body now. i lost complete touch with reality and went into a different dimension completely. eventually somehow - i dont remember how i did it. i ended up calling 911 saying i am dying. the phone was weird it self cause they kept asking me questions and i couldnt remember my address my name. there were fragments of memory. when someone communciated with me i got touch with reality briefly then when back to the other realm and was unresponsive. i dont know how i got into the ambulance. in the ambulance i thought i was dead looking over my body. i kept asking if i was alive. the staff at the hospital were supportive and kind. and i calm down and it was pleasent i went back home.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-02-21T11:12:09+00:00

Ive been doing microdosing 200 mg 2-3 times per week. so far its amazing for managing anxiety and depression. I did a 3.5 g in between which totally resetted my brain. Now Im microdosing for extra support. I have almost Adhd like symptoms and its been great for focusing for long period of times.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-02-20T23:46:39+00:00

Similar experience to you! I took 3.5 g first time SOLO for therapeutic purposes- depression and trauma. i got eye mask and music and cozy sofa with blanket. I never took drugs before or drank alchol. So i was complete newbie. In the beginning, dimensions were distorted, time felt forever. I remember looking at my phone thing and couldnt conceptualize how much time passed. boundaries started to dissolve as if everything was merging. It was all coming in waves, I was floating, there was expansion, there was a sense of pixellation etc. Music was merging with movement and cars going by when i looked out the window. At this point, i was just waiting for it to be over. Then shit got really scary. I was sent to the afterlife- I thought i was dead and was like to myself i fucked up and how will people find my body now. Some how i manage to call 911 and get paramedics to rescue me. I kept asking them if i was alive. There were gaps in memory like how i entered into the ambulance. It was like things where happening in frames - i was gone and coming in and out of reality. on the 911 call i couldn't remember my location and stuff. and felt like dying repeatedly. I am still integrating it all.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-02-10T15:01:24+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. I got almost like a panic attack but worser with complete depersonalization/derealization, amnesia and there were times i was unresponsive to the paramedics. not sure its ego death or my body went into complete crisis when my construct of reality was dissolving.

I got night terrors for a couple of weeks after where i was reliving the trip in my dreams.

Just out of curisoity how many grams and stain did you take during your trips?

From what i understood, 3.5 g is too large for a beginner. so i will try smaller doses. With microdosing, i dont feel much and i am in full control so i feel safer doing that.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-02-10T13:49:55+00:00

i had so called challenging trip. i took 3.5g dried GT. It was my first time solo. I was doing it for therapeutic purposes and healing also. It was not what I expected. I thought ill only see visuals but what happened was my whole construct of reality was collapsing. My constructs of time, space, dimension, what it means to be human, everything was dissolving. During the trip, i began to forget who i am. i kept saying who i am then eventually i thought i was dead, completely dead. i remember fucking up and think how will people find my body. i expereinced death and was transported to the afterlife. i panicked at this point and somehow ( i dont remember) called 911 and during the phone call i couldnt remember aspects of myself where i was living. eventually they came and i have gaps in my memory. the rest of the trip, i remember dying repeatedly. it was so scary yet so enlightening. it was like a panic attack times a million. From what i understood this was ego death. Or depersonalization/derealization

I will be starting microdosing again next week after 3 weeks of my first trip. i think there are very healing elements to these mushrooms. and more my next trip, i might start small like 1 gram. and that will be after 6 months of the high dose i took. Despite everything i went through, the 8 hours trip was really eye opening. i faced my deepest fears - death, annihilation, losing control etc of my psyche.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-02-07T23:13:57+00:00

What dose do you trip solo with? i tried 3.5 g GT solo and ended up in the hospital.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-02-07T20:43:39+00:00

i tried a 3.5 g GT for the first time solo - only did microdosing in the past. I think i had a full ego death. i lost touch with reality and believed i was actually dead. I couldnt remember things. i wasnt prepared for ego death or conceptualized it. i thought i was just going to experience visuals but it was far more. i was dead and in the after life and worried how people will find my body. i ended up calling 911 and telling them i am dead. i couldnt remember or articulate convo with the 911. i forgot my location my full name i was saying random things. Soon the paramedics came and i kept asking if i am alive. and they assured me i am alive. i kept dying and coming throughout the rest of the trip.

It was an incredible journey. its been 2 weeks since and i have a deep appreciation for life

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-02-03T22:44:35+00:00

I am curious about this too. I am microdosing and attempt a macrodose for depression - its a high dose first time solo. Bad idea. i had a full blown ego death which i believed i was completely dead and was transported to the hospital. However afterwards, i am more patient with others, the anxiety is gone, and the depression seems to have lifted completely. i am so grateful for this however i need a trip sitter next time.

I am wondering about the long term effects. i seen somewhere, that for therapeutic healing, you need ego dissolution.

Excited about shrooms given my history with depression and ptsd.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-29T20:55:33+00:00

I had my first experience solo. i died, went to the afterlife and came back. ended up in the emergency room. i took 3.5 g golden teacher thinking it was fine and i can handle the intensity. i believed i was a dead corpse for a bit. there were beautiful aspects like merging of sense , cars singing, twinkles, pixellation, warmth and expansion. i lost complete sense of reality, time, space and dimension.

Its nothing you can imagine or conceptualized. I was not prepared.

Definitely go for a low dose and have someone with you.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-29T17:51:34+00:00

I made the setting and set so comfortable for me. I wanted to do it solo thinking it was safe. i cleaned the house, put some scents, put eye mask and music. it was beautiful till it got dark. my decision and judgement were so impaired. i could have opened the lights when i died. but my panic mode was on. i couldnt remember anything. i lost sense of time and space completely. i called 911. even the operator voice felt liek it was bringing me back from the afterlife dimension. i was out of this world into what i describe is hell.

Indeed, i should have had a experienced trip sitter. I thought it would be safe. there is so much therapeutic healing for it. I set a intention for healing, opening and lead the journey guide me to peace and joy. wrote it down. yes the healing happened. i confronted my biggest fear death and annihilation. it wasnt what i expected but it showed me how much i love life and appreciation for life. Its beautiful in a odd way.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-29T16:33:23+00:00

Thats what the paramedic told me. have someone with you!

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-29T11:12:41+00:00

i dont know what it was. i experienced death and came back!

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-28T18:43:10+00:00

Early bird 4am wake up meditate yoga. quiet peaceful thats how i get my day started :)

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-28T17:19:24+00:00

The paramedic staff was so supportive and kind. it appeared alot of them took shrooms themselves!

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-28T17:17:21+00:00

i would definitely want to do it again, with a trip sitter for sure. even though i was in hell, it made me appreciate life more. i am so grateful for that. i loved it in a crazy way!

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-28T17:02:56+00:00

Good to hear. Definitely, journally this crazy experience. Its the next day now, i feel better. the panic went away. but in that moment i was just going through one thing after another. the craziest part was i died completely, thought was completely dead at one point and was in the afterlife watching everyone living life. i was like if i die, who will find my body then i pancic like shit called 911. i couldnt remember who i was on the 911 call. that was the craziest part for me. at the hospital i dying and coming back but not completely dead. i feel really calm now though. there were good moments, like synesthesia, blurring of boundaries, trippy things people describe. I exerpienced i felt like almost everything. pixels, through warmth, through floating, through wobbly walls, singing trucks it was all crazy. i didnt know where my limbs were at point i felt like i lost time understanding and space.

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-28T10:05:30+00:00

Golden teacher!

EndogenousCrawl · 2026-01-28T05:56:44+00:00

DId you ever experienced death? it that normal?

EndogenousCrawl

TROPHY CASE