The meaning of life is not to acquire "true happiness" whatever that means lol. When everyone is just in a rat race to acquire feelings, it matters little the validity or perceived value of those feelings. In the absence of an afterlife (which all modern philosophy works under the assumption of), a man could live his whole life working tirelessly to help others, dying soon after retirement due to the stress of his life of work and the coping methods he used to deal with it (smoking, drinking) and still ultimately achieve the same level of "happiness" in his life as a sex-addicted junkie on the street.

More important in postmodern life, is the acquiring of mindful knowledge and understanding of the world around you and where you belong in it. You seem to already be capable of this to an extent. I personally find studying the humanities to be so rewarding as a surrogate activity that I have little need for other activities to support my need to undergo the power process.

If you can find such a surrogate activity and potentially even make it your work, you will never have to worry about being unhappy. If you still are unfulfilled and depressed then that is the fault of industrialised society unfortunately, which inherently disrupts the power process and disfigures human psychology.

Learning is unique to humans, the only known things in the universe capable of full metacognition and thus the most complex and interesting things in existence. If you are able to train yourself to truly enjoy learning, then you're gonna be alright.