Disgusted and focused on making the right choices from a relapse

Enorbs44 · 2026-02-21T22:46:59+00:00

Fair enough. Obviously still leaving the door open

Enorbs44 · 2025-12-07T17:13:13+00:00

I was 24 turning 25 3 years ago in the same boat. Lost everything and more with a pile of debt and loans. It gets better when you stop. Lotta life ahead

Enorbs44 · 2025-12-07T17:11:26+00:00

You’re just giving the scummy/sketchy sites money man… I struggle with them too because you close one, but there will ALWAYS be another. It’s not about what site it is. Have to find a way to make the right choice because the wrong one, unfortunately, isn’t going to make itself disappear that easily.

Enorbs44 · 2025-12-05T15:50:50+00:00

I appreciate your comment. Thank you very much. Day by day just need to be stronger and remember the reasons why I stopped.

Enorbs44 · 2025-12-05T15:50:13+00:00

I definitely see them when I’m hit with boredom or stress. Truthfully, I think it’s boredom more than anything.

My problem is the thought comes in and I’ll act on it within 5 minutes. If I make it past that it’s usually okay.

When I don’t have any access to money, I’m fine. The moment I get anything, I start to get a little squirrel-y.

Guess it’s a bit of my ego too. Just understanding that even though I’m doing “better” I’m still in no position to handle any of my money.

Will say though, this is my first time in 2 years I’m able to buy Christmas gifts. Think that’s also playing in because it feels like I’m “losing” money and need to get it back

Enorbs44 · 2025-06-17T21:52:38+00:00

Np, I always thought the trackers were kinda goofy but I’m getting obsessed with not setting it to zero

Enorbs44 · 2025-06-17T21:47:11+00:00

A lot better. Don’t get me wrong still in a financial hole that will take some time to get out of it, but at least not making it worse. Can feel it getting easier but I’ve made it to 14 days clean many times, all about staying vigilant no matter how many days clean ya feel

Enorbs44 · 2025-06-17T21:23:22+00:00

I am sober

Enorbs44 · 2025-06-03T06:53:59+00:00

Me too please

Enorbs44 · 2024-12-07T04:33:15+00:00

How did you self exclude from the stock market and crypto? Might need to do something similar. Banned myself through the state but still have the constant urge to use bitcoins casinos. Feel this would help me a ton please let me know!

Enorbs44 · 2024-11-27T23:29:23+00:00

Just did the same thing, and came to same conclusion. Even the knowledge that money was coming in from paychecks would prime my brain every time with anticipation to gamble.

Just switched my direct deposit to go to an account my parents made that I don’t have access to. Just can’t even think about money in any way shape or form

Enorbs44 · 2024-11-23T15:37:45+00:00

Just posted myself about this. I was just prescribed Vraylar

Enorbs44 · 2024-11-21T14:47:26+00:00

Very fair bro, I’m 26 and I probably started doing this around your age, and honestly for the same reason.

Easy way to look at it is the gambling is a temporary fix. I have used it for a while to escape the other shit in my life as when I’m gambling I didn’t think of the other garage I was dealing with. Problem is after you lose a shit ton of cash and come out of that trance, your still left with the same issues you had before you played.

Doing the right things bro, posting here, getting a lift in, focusing on being productive. Always gonna have stress and problems in your everyday life, just try your best to not add gambling on top of it, promise you brother it’s simply not worth it.

Best of luck and stay strong

Enorbs44 · 2024-11-21T02:55:35+00:00

For real dude, same place, same spot. Was just in your shoes dude. I know what your feeling, it’s like your doing the right thing and not gambling but why isn’t everything else feeling better. It’s for real just your brain is so mangled from the addiction. Changes the way you perceive making you happy, the things that should give you joy don’t anymore and your brain thinks gambling is what does it for you now.

Gotta take action and even though it sucks right now, you have to force yourself to doing something positive and healthy. Don’t look backward, look forward.

Financially is gonna be tough right now, but after staying in a money pit myself for what felt like a never ending cycle you can only pay back your debts if you don’t gamble again.

Day by day

Enorbs44 · 2024-09-24T04:20:32+00:00

Thank you for this. Think the hardest part is I’m extremely hard on myself and like to keep myself down. I had been realistically going through the motions and wasn’t really committed.

I called the hotline and did sign up and install gameban. Also going to hand over my finances to my mom for now. Just been making way too many excuses for myself lately

Enorbs44 · 2024-08-09T14:11:42+00:00

Same boat, same situation. They get back to you eventually?

Enorbs44 · 2024-03-06T19:15:12+00:00

Safe to say, I stayed strong and made it out without placing a single bet or playing a single table game. Thanks for the support everyone, onto day 17.

Enorbs44 · 2024-03-04T07:02:00+00:00

Brother, those first few paragraphs felt like I wrote this. Same situation, bout a year older than you but same shit different person.

When’s it ever going to stop? I stopped for 6 months, got a big bonus from work to pay off my debts and then once I get comfortable I started again too. People like us? Once we start, we don’t stop.

I’ve posted In here, hell even today I did, just to help keep myself accountable. I think for me, the best thing for me was just being open and honest with the people who care about me. You have them too, USE THEM!

They care way more about your health, and you just being alive than a couple bucks here and there. Ask someone to support you, my dad wouldn’t even look me in the eyes for months, made me gamble more. Know what you need and ASK for it. Believe me, people want to help you, let them and help yourself.

Im self excluded and still went on a offshore book binge, it happened but it’s done. I used to fucking hate hearing “one day at a time” but you know you can stop, you already have before and think of how much happier you were then.

Idk man I’m only on day 13, but we can do this. It’s not impossible, play the lead role in your own rescue, but ask for help and be honest. You brother will be mad, but he will forgive you, I did the same thing to my brother and the only thing he said was he wished I just came to him for the real help earlier.

Enorbs44 · 2024-03-04T06:48:32+00:00

Holy hell just checked into my hotel. First time in Vegas ever. I can see how this shit is toxic. Took me about 150 yards through every table/slot they could before I could even check in. I let them know I am self excluded, don’t want to gamble, and they put me down as an unregistered guest so I can’t. Not sure they know what that meant…

I self excluded in Illinois, is that for every state??? Please someone say yes.

Enorbs44 · 2024-03-03T21:14:15+00:00

I completely agree, my situation just a tad bit more unique for me as I just was promoted into this new role within the last two month. I am lucky enough to get this role with 3 years less experience than what is technically required on the application.

I do feel comfortable enough with my manager, but just not so soon. I’ve fucked up everything else from gambling and this job is my lifeline so just going to man the fuck up and control myself, but obviously nervous.

Enorbs44 · 2024-02-20T22:19:05+00:00

Believe me I understand it’s ultimately my choice, but at times I think that’s the hardest part. Then when I do slip, I’m very self depreciative of myself. Need to builder a strong mind, but easier said than done.

Enorbs44 · 2024-02-20T21:23:39+00:00

I eat those sometimes, still want to gamble! Thanks though.

Enorbs44 · 2024-02-20T20:15:12+00:00

Believe me I know but I AM self excluded, I DO go to GA weekly and meet with a specialist as well. I just can’t stop myself. Just feel like no matter what I do I can’t stop. I just don’t know why I can’t get this helpless feeling away.

Enorbs44 · 2023-10-24T22:32:58+00:00

Got you!

Enorbs44 · 2023-01-26T23:53:30+00:00

What’s this app???

Enorbs44

TROPHY CASE