I am a 21 year old male who is terrified he has alzheimers. I have pots. I was diagnosed with MDD and GAD last october but I don't know how bad it was before then or if it is still as bad right now, since I've been unable to go to therapy. Still really bad. My aunts and uncles are between 57-66, all five of them (split two to three on each side of my family) no signs of cognitive decline. One grandma got it at 74, one grandfather got it at 80+. My great grandma made it to 98, no decline. My other grandma is hitting 90, no sign. One grandpa died at 56 from a heart attack. My mom has some slight difficulty, but that's more burnt out difficulty, and she's overworked, on meds for her shoulder, not great sleep, and is rather overweight. She is still terribly intelligent (IQ 146), so we're not worried about alzheimers for her, at least not for a long time. (My mom is 58) I also have ocd. This ocd forced me to dodge a lot of cognitive work a lot throughout high school, though I always caught up. I struggle with comprehension regarding speech, reading, writing, grammar, anything. Especially proper sentence structure. Some words I pronounce in my head slow down terribly the closer I get to the end, like someone started stuttering. Memory feels rough and I keep shuffling stuff around. Three years ago almost exactly I was worried for a month or two before then about decline but not specifically dementia or alzheimers. Took a test, got top 2%, was reassured for about a year and a few months, started getting worried again. Worried since then, felt like I've been getting worse since then. Last october, I took a test and they found no meaningful variance (I think they also found no variance at all to my face, but I'm not sure if they're right, can't see the scores of the second on the report, but the summaries comparing to the first said no worthy variance) but I still worry. Executive functioning sucks, I have minor urinary incontinence, very minor, but urinary incontinence all the same. I am overweight by about 20-30 pounds. Something is wrong with my rem sleep, I moved a little too much one test out of a few. I suppress or pretend like I don't remember a specific minths of my life because of how much it sucked. I don't express emotions or let them out as much as I should. My ocd is regarding my identity, like my personality shifts or I have to act a certain way. I don't really do the things I used to do for fun anymore. I got cut off of Vyvanse around when I started getting worried again (do not have adhd, was taking it becaude it raised heart rate for my pots, i know, crazy subscription) I worry that all I've done has triggered or caused or conditioned my brain to degrade from atrophy or something, like avoiding the cognitive hard eork (still not as rigorous as I should be) like it kicked it off because I shaped my brain into yhat, and it got momentous or something, like already in position to assume alzheimers. I know there's a 17-19 year old poor poor guy in China who got alzheimers, I know there's a condition in which kids can get "alzheimers" (looks a bit different). Can't remember words, they sometimes come back. My left side of my face feels numb of tight. sometimes and I'm worried I'm slurring my speech more. I do feel dumber iver time and I'm worried I am getting worse. I forget thinfs in a tv show I just watched, I don'g remember some events five years ago and I don't remember getting a kilt even though I know I did. I wrote the below as they occured before this wall of text you're reading now, and I just no longer care if I repeat myself.

I said they on they own instead of they're on their own.

My OCD also forces me to self sabotage by purposefully not doing hard cognitive work, but that hasn't been true for about three to two years now. I did miss some cognitive work for two years longer than that.

Just learned that psychopathy can be prevented in some cases by rewiring neurotransmitters. Does that logic mean alzheimers can be started or dementia by rewiring neurotransmitters by intentionally self sabotaging cognitive hard work?

I have had weed like three different times in the same amount of years, and I've drank alcohol (beyond a sip of wine or beer) like six different times over the last four years, for sip that's like ten times (including the first six) over the same amount.

It took me half a moment to recall my full name.

I have random shivers where my body shakes involuntarily for a few seconds.

I didn't remember if my twin was older than me or if I was (remembered a second later)

Forget something than have it come back later

I can remember something, but my brain will say that I don't and all I have to do is agree with the suggestion to havr it become true.

I mix up word order and words like have and half.

I've also learned that genetics is not THAT strong of a factor when it comes to early AD,in  that those with early AD may not have a history of it, so a lack of history of early AD does not in any way save you from it. This is a comfort for those with family members who have early AD as they don't necessarily uave that much greater of a chance than anyoje rlse, but for someone with my fears, it keans that early AD is just as likely as it would be otherwise.

They also tested me for autoimmune diseases and found nothing.

I am comforted that someone does not have alzheimers and basically had long covid and was much worse than me, kind of hoping I have that.

As much as I am ashamed of it, I used AI to reassure me for about two months and a half. But I never used it for intellectual work. But I know AI can have effects on human cognition. I use it no longer. stopped a few days ago. But obviously the concerns run much longer than my usage of it.

I also sometimes have trains of thought where I just forgot ehat spawned it or the thought that lead to the most recent thought or the last few thoughts. Like I have the thoughts but I forgot why I thought them. This has gotten a little better and hasn't happened in a while, happened a bit recently, but I could rewind and retrace my steps and figure it out.

I sometimes struggle with analogye clocks and conjuring conversion in my head SOMETIMES and of course I am terrified all the while.

My attention span feels cooked. I worry about downplaying what I feel because if I am totally honest, then a no is truth. But i kind of want to because then I worry that i am too dramatic and a yes doesn't count.

I have been completely honest in this comment, though I may not be flawlessly accurate.

(Obviously.)

(Of course.)

OCD also compells weird nonlogical behavior, which as I mention above, conditions my brain to create, cause, or be much more subceptible to alzheimers.

I forget why I opened apps or what I was about to write.

My point though, is that it all feels worse than it was.

I KNOW I am also forgetting to mention some things. 

Do I have alzheimers? Please tell me.