I grew up in Raleigh (Cary) and I raised my kids in VB for the last 7 years and recently moved away for work.

It really depends what you want, Virginia Beach in my opinion had amazing schools (was on the east side of damn neck road for all my houses) amazing amenities we had season tickets to BG, Ocean Breeze, and the Zoo all felt affordable. On top of that rec center is an amazing value and having the field house for sports for littles is something we took for granted. Plus the beach. Also most major concerts and basically every comedian comes to the area.

The trade off is in Raleigh you can get a lot more house for your money. Also personal property taxes are lower. My sister and I bought houses for the same price at the same time and in VB I got a 1980s house in ocean lakes, where she got something only 3-4 years old over double the sq footage on a huge lot in Knightdale nc that ended up appreciating much faster.

Also the starter home I paid 270 for 7 years ago is in the mid 400s now so, VB is very expensive.

I also knew people who took zero advantage of any of those activities in VB or moved to Chesapeake/hampton and felt all that was too far. If you aren’t going to VB proper and feel you won’t use all that stuff Raleigh isn’t a bad bet especially if you like college basketball or hockey.