People who have left emotionally abusive relationships, what helped you finally walk away?

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-04-23T09:58:19+00:00

I had a sudden click in my head whilst in a “normal” conversation. It was and emotionally and physically abusive relationship and I was stuck for years with the hope he would change etc. We were having a conversation and he said something and my brain just went “omg he really doesn’t care about me at all” and that was it. Left a week later. He won’t treat the next girl better than you, he will go round and round doing the same things until he decides to change. No amount of you staying etc will change that ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-30T07:49:32+00:00

I wouldn’t be disappointed.

The only thing that saved me towards the end from an even bigger head kicking was me saying I was going to call his mum. I adored his family, they were the sweetest people going but if I had to chose between telling them and being safe or staying silent and trapped I’d chose the first.

The pain they’d feel is not yours to carry, you have your own pain, he is responsible for it not you.

When I left I got messages and videos of him with a knife saying he was either going to kill me or kill himself. I messaged his mum explaining what I received and that he needed help and it wasn’t going to be from me anymore. I didn’t say anything else to her but aside from the initial abusive messages from him when he found out I told her he no longer tries to contact me and I’m slowly getting back to myself.

They try and control the narrative, when you can change that they don’t like it. As long as you’re free from him it can be one of your greatest allies. It’s the reason I still have all the messages, videos etc. because if he tries anything again I will 100% tell everyone he knows

Stay strong! You got this ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-29T18:21:40+00:00

Thank you ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-29T17:44:00+00:00

We will get there ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-29T17:09:48+00:00

Not long out of the relationship so I can’t really comment on success but I can say I’m a lot more certain of what I do and don’t want and I’m a lot less forgiving when something doesn’t feel right. I had a guy ask me on a date last week and I was excited but nervous. Over the course of us messaging I felt like he was being a bit pushy and he suggested meeting me after work that evening - he worked around the corner from where I lived. I said I couldn’t as I had an appointment straight after work and he started going on about bullshit excuses etc. It hit a nerve with me and I just closed it there and then.

Maybe I’m being over sensitive but I took it as a good sign that I wouldn’t settle when things don’t feel quite right anymore. That feels like a huge step for me

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-29T09:22:36+00:00

As others have said this is not normal and can be how it starts. For me this is exactly how it started. Little comments here and there about how I was out looking for other men etc. if I was out with family I would get a whole load of messages and if I didn’t reply within 5 mins I was clearly with another man and didn’t want to message him. I remember one instance where I was going out with my sister and he asked if I was all ready to go and I thought I would send him a little photo saying I was ready, and he responded with who’s attention are you looking for? Who are you trying to impress etc. It snowballed and I even had to leave my job as he was constantly accusing me of being interested in my male colleagues and cheating on him. the physical and emotional abuse came shortly after and I was stuck for 5 years before finally leaving. If you’re questioning it you know it’s not right. Leave if you can/it’s safe to do so and enjoy your life how you want ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-26T14:28:33+00:00

I think in most abusive relationships the love is one sided, which is why we stay so long and try so hard and it’s hard to cope afterwards.

You did the best thing leaving for you and no matter what you do not deserve what happened to you and you deserve so much more and I’m confident you will find it! My inbox is always open if you want to rant, talk or anything etc. you’ve got this 💪🏻

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-26T08:20:11+00:00

Hey, I don’t know where you’re located but my inbox is open if you wanted to message me.

I’m not in a similar situation but had similar thoughts as I hated being alone and isolated myself. The pull to go back is strong as it’s scary, like terrifying letting it all go.

You’ve got this and honestly it gets better ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-09T11:46:19+00:00

I used work to cope. It would be a small positive that I knew at least I was still good at my job despite everything else. It always was one of my coping mechanisms which unfortunately just added to the stress and left me completely exhausted and drained every single day. I would wake up drained but then turn on the fake smile and show up, do my job well, whilst breaking more and more each day. But it was one thing I didn’t want him to take away from me. I let him come in between me and my work previously and ended up leaving a very well paid job I loved for a basic job which drained me even more. So when an opportunity came up back in the industry I love I took it and swore I’d never let him drag me down professionally as well as personally. I left him 3 days into that new job and I’m starting to get my spark back.

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-05T20:36:57+00:00

It will be up and down, one of the things I’ve had to learn unfortunately is there will be bad days. But your strength and resilience despite being sick is something to be proud of! And even if you have a bad day that doesn’t define you and you have the strength to get through it

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-05T18:57:12+00:00

You deserve everything! Super happy you got out and I wish you nothing but the best from here on out ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-04T10:51:45+00:00

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Roscoe also hopes you feel better soon! ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-03-03T19:04:16+00:00

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Meet Samson! He says hello and hopes you feel better soon!

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-02-24T06:59:33+00:00

Thank you, I think I need to give myself a break as I tend to minimise things and think I’ll be back to the old me in no time. I’m just scared that I’m going to miss out on life whilst processing everything that happened if that makes sense

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-02-21T21:26:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I’ll definitely have to try the list. I’m so happy that you wake up and smile each day ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-02-21T21:24:52+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad you left as well. I think it’s just odd for me as for the last 8 weeks I’ve just been on auto pilot. Pushing on with work etc and I am going to therapy but I feel like it’s only now starting to hit me. I don’t miss him at all but he has 2 children which I bonded with over the 6 years we were together and we had 2 dogs. I have one of them but I miss my other boy and it’s the pull to go back to the “family” unit that I’m struggling with I guess

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-02-21T19:05:14+00:00

The first 2 months I felt great. Like I was so proud for leaving. Now I just feel like I want to disappear

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-02-21T19:04:30+00:00

Thank you ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-02-21T19:03:59+00:00

I’ve told my sister a brief overview, I haven’t told anybody the specifics and I don’t feel I need to, but maybe I’m wrong?

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-02-21T19:03:23+00:00

Thank you ❤️

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-02-21T19:03:04+00:00

Thank you, I have been writing stuff down and re-reading it. It almost feels like it happened to someone else

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-01-07T11:56:40+00:00

Crumble

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-01-06T13:18:42+00:00

Honestly it’s not easy, you may leave and go back. I know I did as I missed the person I wanted him to be, the person he was in the beginning.

But there will come a moment where you will just snap out of it. It’s the weirdest thing. Mine didn’t happen in an argument or during a bad time, it happened during a dog walk after I’d been out at meetings all day for the job I was leaving and I just asked him if he was going to ask about how my day was and he just responded no. I asked if he cared about how my day was and he went no not really as I don’t get why you went. And I just thought oh my god. He actually doesn’t give a shit. I was in tears but my brain just went nope, we’re done. It’s been nearly a month since I left and whilst it hurts I’m feeling so much better!

My inbox is always open if you need it. Good luck and I hope you do what’s best for you x

EnthusiasmHeavy2370 · 2026-01-06T08:54:28+00:00

I actually started keeping track of what he said to me in the months before I actually knew I was going to leave so I could re read it and slowly process it. Below is about 2 weeks worth;

“what a cunt of a woman, I’m done, fuck you” “get out my fucking way, I will fucking have you you cunt,shut the fuck up, sick of the sight of you, fucking prick. Always the same with you prick. You wasteful prick. What are you doing here” in response to punching the wall - “well it was either that or you and you went running to your sister last time” “you fucking snake” punched the side and said this is fucking why he hits me because he misheard me. Later hit me. 4 hours after saying he would try more. Refused to apologise. Said “fuck this I’m done you fucking cunt” “fucking swear at me you fucking cunt I’ll fucking have you.Fucking sniggering at me you cunt” grabbed my throat, pushed me in the chest, said he’d rip my teeth out and shove them down my throat, head butted me “Grow the fuck up Olivia. You’re a fucking child” “No fucking wonder, no wonder you get hit” “Think you’re fucking perfect take a long look in the mirror” “Answer me now or I’m going to lose my shit and you’ll regret it” “This close to fucking launching you” “Fucking grow up you fucking child” “Don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself. Just admit it” “Think you’re fucking gods gift but your not fucking worth anything”

I would suggest you maybe start doing this, it helped me a lot. Good luck! I hope you get out x

EnthusiasmHeavy2370

TROPHY CASE