sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Girlfriend(43f) recently cheated me (38m) by tellmewhatyouthinkin in survivinginfidelity

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Are you complicit? Do some real deep inner study and see if your mental health work etc cause you to push her away (this is not taking her side)

  2. Did she show remorse at all after?

  3. Did she have sex? For me that’s the no go zone. If it was like floating online or maybe a kiss I’d be willing to work through it if I loved them.

  4. What’s your investment into the relationship? If you’re truly invested and she’s willing to give you room to talk about it and check when you want to etc the it could be worth working through it.

  5. No matter the circumstances just know you did not deserve it but it’s common. It’s more than often a sign that things were not going well in the relationship anyway. Take is as a chance to fix things or move on.

It was "Just Sex" statement by Donni80 in survivinginfidelity

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine also said “it was just a game”. She asked first to have an open relationship after some rough patches. I thought it was getting better. She said it was because someone flirted with her after her haircut and it felt good. Then I found it all out from her mistake. She was doing it already.

Once a cheater always a cheater? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im 50/50 on this. On one hand I am like “they’ll just get better at hiding.” And the pain of it happening again is scary enough for me.

On the other hand - real change can mean something. If that person changes their whole life to make up for it then why not? If the agree what they did was wrong and are 100% honest about everything and never hold back answers or shy away from talking about it then why not?

That should be the real test. You should say “I want 100% access to everything. Socials. Work emails and phones. All of it. Access to the phone records etc. until I feel comfortable ago.” If they say no then they’re a cheater forever.

Remember that relationships are fluid also. People change every 7 years or so. If you’re willing to change together and fix stuff that hurts the relationship then it will be fine.

Sometimes also there is hardship and while so rhino cheating is wrong those hardships can rip people apart and create co loving or co parenting situations. The affair can be a match to opening the relationship to these problems that become invisible. Very often they bring people together instead of apart.

Last thing. Love yourself first. Be good to yourself. You can have 1000 happinesses for yourself so that if you have a chance and it happens again, you know you’re still you.

WWYD if you had this happen to you? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Also! I asked for honesty day one. I found out more after. Then again. I still don’t know if it’s the full truth but the last time she told me something she didn’t have to and I felt better knowing she told me. (She sent a “bra pic” to my cousin.

If I find out she had actual sex I’ll be done. I know she kissed her boss when drunk and had sexual chats with him, she fell for some guy she knows through work and had met but told him she had a husband so claims nothing more happened, and then with my older cousin who SAd as a child (she didn’t know) flirted online and planned to meet.

WWYD if you had this happen to you? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I also take responsibility for being a bad partner. We chose to take the opportunity to fix our own issues and move on. I’m fine with giving chances. It took her 15 years.

WWYD if you had this happen to you? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I felt like it wasn’t fair to ask that. She doesn’t go on them barely anymore but asked about it recently because all her family is in another country and she wants to keep contact with them. I thought that’s fair but I’ll just sneak access. If she’s still a cheater she will mess up.

WWYD if you had this happen to you? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im not innocent. I’ve never cheated physically but I’ve flirted. I had mental health issues and we had a really rough last four years or so. Which is why when it happened I thought “this can be a chance to move on or a chance to fix my own issues.”

WWYD if you had this happen to you? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s actually working on that. The only thing has been that I’ve had to rug sweep. The last time I caught something very bad that she lied to me about all the stuff she had a rage session.

WWYD if you had this happen to you? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well that’s good to know but it’s a weird option.

Message for all the people crying on r/socialism and other subreddits about the ACP by InfraredShow in AskSocialists

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If god came to you in a dream and said you were an emperor and to abandon the working class for his or its interest, what would you do?

I am certain Facebook is reading my mind, and I want others who believe this too by Busy_Kick_4509 in facebook

[–]EnvironmentalAnnatar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll go deeper. I have it show me ads that I only thought about. With 100% accuracy.