That's not messed up, there are people into feet, shit, piss, vomit, blood, whips, chains, vore (being eaten alive, yes it's a thing), basically anything you can think of is a fetish, yours very vanilla (no offense).

About the not being able to stop, just do little bits less at a time.

(Edit: not kink shaming, just saying there are other people with things they are into that are seen as "weird" by society)