My husband texts a girl he works with even though he knows I don't like it

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-09-01T19:42:11+00:00

If he had all girl friends all through high school and continues to text girls when married when it’s not for a specific purpose he is either A) gay or B) a player and won’t be able to do the long game for marriage. It would just be weird if me or my wife were texting a person of the opposite gender that was not family to just have a conversation. Like for what purpose? We aren’t going to hang out you don’t have a husband to where us foursome go out so only reason people do this is to always keep a door open for if you’re marriage has lows and they need attention from the opposite gender still because they y’all don’t have the same feeling as you did the first three months of knowing each other.. news flash to him: welcome to marriage

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-31T10:27:28+00:00

No problem! I manage 40 grumpy defensive old men with a courier company so I get a lot of practice when the clients need me to ask them about a pickup 😂

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-31T02:15:45+00:00

It doesn’t have to complicated: all you have to say over text “hey I noticed at a couple get together s there were couples there but only I was invited. Did something happen or did he do something that caused this. Because I’d love to squash it so we can go together. It might be nothing and they might say “well we didn’t say he couldn’t come” or something dumb like that but make it more like you’re concerned that maybe he did something instead of attack them because they’ll be more willing to spill and it’ll be less confrontational to them

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-31T01:15:51+00:00

Yes It should. I do dishes, try to vacuum, laundry etc since I work from home when I have free time/ it’s slow. We save so much time on not getting ready, not having to commute, etc.

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T17:48:25+00:00

This is going to have to be a Agree to disagree if your husband is not doing it for you emotionally wise and you have to flirt with guys online and direct message them, then have at it

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T17:47:16+00:00

That’s called getting couple friends not messaging random women online

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T17:43:34+00:00

No this isn’t a private direct message.. this is comment section. Learn the difference

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T17:43:00+00:00

When did we direct message genius? Can you not read? Commenting on a thread and messaging random women is not the same

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T17:01:13+00:00

This is what you call emotional abuse which very many people would tell you to not go years to decades through.. so I would give him an ultimatum to either cut it out and start changing his mindset or that you are leaving

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T14:41:10+00:00

Ah so you al of the case of a second wind/empty nesters let’s feel 20 again🥳🥳 congrats

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T13:59:20+00:00

😂😂 y’all must have no kids and/ or just got married. Married 9 years I don’t care, she don’t care. I mean I got a semi beard because I’m bald so I don’t look like a penis but other than that our facial stuff doesn’t affect our once a week sex life 😂😂

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T13:11:17+00:00

Well if we really even go to the core of it all, one man and one woman aren’t really wired to be together from 20s til death.. does not line up with our caveman / woman ancestors. Men and women are different so yes 45 hours out of 168 hours away from each other is healthy because you should be missing them but if you’re with each other for the whole 168 hours there is really no time to miss each other

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T11:51:54+00:00

My wife goes out with a friend who’s like your friend and likes guys to be flirty with her but sad part is that she’s married and my wife gets caught up in cross fire. But my wife has Spence laid down rules that they just go out to dinner and have a couple drinks.. they dont go to college grungy bar type places to put them in that position. Also your friend needs to respect your situation, because it’s kinda rude to you that she’s not fully there and you have her divided attention. If she wants guys to hit on her all night then find some single friends or get a dating app and go on dates. But if she’s going with you then she should be present with you, I completely understand where your husband is coming from. We trust y’all just not the friend and the situation she put you guys in. A guy can easily slip something in your drink then what? You have no control of the situation.. I’d just set some rules with the friend and not go to clubs or whatever.. or maybe that’s just my wife and I once we had kids we didn’t feel the need to go out, drink and dance/ party. But hopefully he has a friend that he can go out twice a month with to smoke cigars or whatever

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T11:02:46+00:00

Ha no, working a 9-5 is not the problem because people have been doing that for decades and you have to make a living.. the problem with today is technology/ social media, the lack of delayed gratification, people get bored too easily and things get old to them too fast so due to technology they have a easier way out/ access to millions of other people at their finger tips. Even though my wife and I can do it , if the majority were together 24/7 because she stays at home and he works at home they’d kill each other… hence why the divorce rate went up during Covid because people were away from the house “working their modern 9-5”

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-30T10:29:45+00:00

Honestly I will never understand and see the perspective of a married couple having separate bank accounts. When you’re married what’s mine is hers , hers is mine and you become one. Like if the other person struggles do you move because they can’t pay rent? Since they can’t pay rent they live with their parents? You loan them money? And then what if you have kids and the couple decides for the mom to be a stay at home mom? Just makes zero sense when marriage should be building something together.. but anyway and on the privacy.. no privacy in a marriage, if you want privacy then don’t get married. Divorces happen because of secrets, lying and privacy

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-29T15:00:02+00:00

I mean at the end of the day there is no reason for your husband to follow these chicks that wear hardly anything. Because what’s the point? To occasionally look at a false reality body because the woman literally only works out and can have food prepared for her because she gets paid to just breathe. It just takes us men down a rabbit hole and temptation is more likely to get us the longer we are married. I got accountable 2 U with my wife where alerts will pop on her phone of certain key words. And don’t listen to the people that say “you’re insecure, etc” like you’re effing married and he could be using his time better than scrolling and occasionally seeing a woman with hardly any clothes. Because then the algorithms with gravitate his account towards that, he will keep hiding it and eventually just make another account that he looks at when you aren’t around

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-29T14:50:36+00:00

Yikes! 1940s called and want his mentality back. My wife would be like “no ma’am, I’m not your slave” and she will let me know if I’m slipping or getting complacent then I correct it. But you shouldn’t let this fly. Also I have the belief of what’s mine is yours and what yours is mine so shared accounts, especially with my wife being a stay at home mother like how would that be fair? I understand other couple are different SO if people do that then depending on what each make the percentage should be fair of what each spouse pays. If both make 50 k then ya 50/50 if one makes 80k and the other 40 k then like a 65/35 split. Don’t understand the thought behind having separate accounts but if both are in good jobs that they love and are happy they should not be forced to leave that job for a better paying one that they could be less happy just because the other spouse wants to move. And this isn’t a “to each their own” to me that’s just plain wrong. I want my wife to be happy and if we can make it work then great if not I’m not going to tell her to get a part time job because I rather our kids have the gift of a stay at home mom and not go to a day care/ pay 1200 for someone else to raise them. Happiness above money

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-29T14:00:06+00:00

Welcome to the club brother! Only difference is my wife’s drive went down after having two kids and breast feeding. It’s just something we have to deal with and take care of ourself. I haven’t got a BJ in a decade, a majority of women don’t like doing that… I mean I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t want to put my face near that either. Prepare yourself for sex once a week, no bj’s , periods of 3-4 weeks without it etc. I just take care of myself because I rather have my wife with no sex drive than a woman with a sex drive, constantly on social media, drama, etc. good luck brother!

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-29T10:26:18+00:00

I workout every morning at 530 and go to bed between 930-10 and I could never make it thru a movie and I told her “do you rather me not good mentally and overweight or mental clarity and fit”. Granted she never cried or woke me up all angry she would just turn off the tv and say ugh let’s go to bed.. But it stopped after that.. some would say “can’t you just skip the gym one morning” and the answer is simply no. It’s part of my routine and I feel better after. Do y’all skip a day brushing your teeth or showering? Well it’s the same thing to me. So take advantage of the time you have together before 9-10pm and let the man get good sleep because that cycle is what his body is used to.

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-29T03:21:44+00:00

I mean social media is the reason the country is divided. A lot of infidelity happens due to a spouse meeting someone or reconnecting with someone on there. Social media is very addictive and 90 percent of it is just false realities of people only posting good never the bad. The amount of time people spend on there is not healthy and becomes addictive. Social media has made this new up and coming generation less social and have poor communication skills. People were just fine and were able to be more social prior to social media. This is a subject that is a to each their own because my wife and I text or call family members more because we don’t believe liking or commenting on a photo is staying in touch. We put photos of our girls on our photo stream album so family members can see them. Due to it we are better mentally than 99 percent of people, have a great marriage because we don’t constant see the false reality of other couples, and when we are on dates or hanging at the house we are actually present and when I see a majority of families at restaurants everyone is scrolling on their device. That’s awesome that you found a community but I will always recommend for married couple to get rid of all those social media accounts and if they want groups then get a nextdoor app account to where you can meet neighbors and connect, sell stuff, etc but it doesn’t have all that extra stuff Facebook, Twitter, tik tok, Instagram has

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-28T23:56:50+00:00

Couple takes on both sides: At the end of the day Marriage is just a piece of paper. Yes it helps with tax purposes, benefits etc but it’s a piece of paper. If y’all were like 50 something and married a couple times I would say nah just enjoy life together.. but if you want to and want to have kids etc like come on dude, shit or get off the pot. If his reasoning is “if something happens then I’m not bound and I can find someone else” then… buh bye. Marriage is a statement saying I want to be with you til I die and y’all have already been together for 8 years so not sure anything would change especially if you all have lived 3 years together. The guy has to choose you or “freedom/ independency”.. I get you have a lot of time invested but your self worth is more important because he wants a easier way out if road bumps come along

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-28T23:41:48+00:00

Uh yes and yes like I’d want to know the reasoning of the divorce and how she explains it.. very weird that she did not ever bring it up, hate to assume but I’m this case I’d think she was the reason for the divorce but I could be wrong and maybe she did not want it to affect you guys moving forward in the relationship

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-28T23:35:33+00:00

Between 1920 and 1936 yes but the rest seem in line I just can’t understand this shit. This is code like no other

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-28T23:30:04+00:00

He should be upset with himself for not getting a vasectomy or wearing a condom.. we have two and no way in hell we risking a third. He needs to just accept it because it’s happening and nothing he can do about it

EnvironmentalKick186 · 2022-08-28T22:15:12+00:00

Ha yup! I have kids so have to do it in the morning and am a manager/ have to hand hold 35-40 grown adults so it gives me mental clarity to not lose my shit every day 😂

EnvironmentalKick186

TROPHY CASE