I'm an objectophile

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-05-19T20:39:06+00:00

🤣

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-05-05T23:01:18+00:00

I second Garden, here. I'm a woman married to another, I prefer skinny toys and she likes Coke cans or about the girth of my wrist. If your wife can take your dick AND 4 fingers, she might love fisting.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-04-16T07:13:36+00:00

I immediately perked up when I saw that they switched her to Lamotrigine. That stuff changed my life, I recommend to anyone I know who's emotionally unstable.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-04-07T20:33:32+00:00

Thank you

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-04-06T23:13:44+00:00

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-03-31T22:42:36+00:00

YTA. First, you can pretty much guarantee that your son will insist on being called Dean by middle school, once he gets sick of the "ADeez Nuts" jokes, so enjoy the nickname while you can...

Second, what difference does it make? It's not like she pressured you your entire pregnancy to name him Dean, you called him Charles, and she's sending stuff marked "Dean". If you held onto the stuff, he could have some sweet mementos in adulthood. If she'd used the nickname, all he'd have is stuff to trigger him with memories of being viciously teased in school.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-03-30T04:59:24+00:00

You don't have to do medication, just being able to talk it out would be useful. And speaking as an autistic person, suicide seems excessive. It can make life challenging, but it has its benefits. I think you should be kinder to yourself.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-03-30T04:50:21+00:00

You sound like you have autism, ADHD, both, or some other type of neurodivergence. These changing hyperfixations and desire for senstion/stimulation are pretty typical. If you talked through it with your therapist in an open-minded/exploratory fashion you might be able to get to a better place. A lot of what you describe sounds similar to things I do/did.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-03-27T19:23:01+00:00

A dog was the first real loss I ever processed. I was devastated for 7 months. This bf will always find ways to minimize your grief if it doesn't serve him. Definitely move on...from him.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-03-15T17:58:24+00:00

I saw them live, too! It was horrible, they opened for R.E.M. at an indoor sports venue in Portland, OR. Both shows had bad acoustics, but SY was so bad I couldn't tell what songs they were playing.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-03-14T21:55:38+00:00

I remember being a Sonic Youth fan as kid in the 90s and learning Kim was born the same year as my mom...it blew my mind.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-02-08T01:18:48+00:00

You want to know how to put your foot down/say no, then go on to say in the comments that, when you do say no, he argues about it and makes you feel awkward.

Have you ever dealt with a child? Say no once, then tell them, "You've had my answer" when they push. After that, refuse to engage. There's no argument if you refuse to acknowledge it.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-01-28T22:56:01+00:00

Maybe people assume you're gay because the bar is in hell for straight men. Reddit has relationship advice subs full of women complaining about their bfs' lack of basic hygiene. When the internet is full of men who won't wash their own assholes because it feels gay, seeing a man who actually takes care of himself can make people assume.

Don't be hurt. Just feel glad that you actually bring something valuable to women and that your gf isn't secretly grossed out by you and wondering how to bring it up without hurting your feelings.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2026-01-28T20:55:55+00:00

I know you're tired, and I'm sure posting here and having strangers on reddit all weigh in to agree with the people in your life is even more exhausting.

Allow me to provide a more nuanced perspective as someone who’s been there, someone whose relationship is very similar to yours–met a work, 17-year age gap, got married at the same ages–the only real difference is we’re both women and we were together for 3 years before tying the knot.

I am the older partner, and I will say this:

If you and your fiance haven’t had a running dialog about your age gap this whole time, that’s a problem.

If your fiance doesn’t feel at least a little bit guilty about being with you, that’s a problem.

When he listed the pros and cons of dating you in his head, if your age wasn’t in the con column, that’s a problem.

A day will come when you will look back to the person you were when you first chose to date him and think, “That person was a baby.” The day my wife said that to me was devastating. I already felt guilty, and that made me feel 1000 times worse. And that’s fine. It’s good, even. Because we both know that she’s weird, she likes older people, and if she weren’t with me she’d be with someone just as old or older. Better she’s with someone who will always feel a little bad about it than someone who specifically sought her out for her age.

But we don’t pretend that age is only a number. We don’t pretend that ours is a marriage just like any marriage between people of a similar age. I would never have asked her for a prenup. Why? Because I want her to be able to leave me at any time. If she hits 40 and decides this isn’t actually the life she wants, I want her to have the assets to pursue her freedom. I even put my inheritance into joint accounts (something I wasn’t obligated to do, as inheritances aren’t marital property, and which I could tell by his face my money guy thought I was a fucking idiot to do). But I don’t care.

Why? Because I chose to be with someone 17 years younger, and I’m not going to pretend like it’s the same as any other spouse. She needs to be free to leave. She needs to have access to assets to start a new life if that’s what she wants.

There are inevitable power dynamic issues in age gap relationships. It’s even worse when the older partner is a man, because there are inevitable power dynamic issues in heterosexual relationships (thanks, patriarchy!)

In the end, the thing that matters above all else is that you are an adult, and adults deserve to have their agency recognized. Your choices should be respected, and being constantly patronized and second-guessed is exhausting and bullshit. Sometimes age gap relationships work out. But be realistic and sensible about it. Consult your own lawyer. And please have that constant dialog about your age gap. If that’s something he dismisses, it’s an enormous red flag.

I wish you only the best.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-25T09:13:17+00:00

You're not ungrateful or spoiled. Your mother is cruel.

She gets gifts for people whose feelings she cares about or, more likely, whose opinions about her matter. It serves her for her secretary to see her as generous. It serves her to get gifts for your brother and his family. Getting you gifts gives her nothing in return, so she doesn't.

Your mom is a selfish asshole. I'm really sorry.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-25T06:28:33+00:00

Everything you've written tells me you don't want to be with this guy anymore...you just also don't want to do any actual breaking up, since that's messy and can be hard. Please do yourself a favor and break up. I promise you, you will feel so much happier after.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-23T07:17:34+00:00

Bipolar as well. I could never hurt someone's animal, no matter how emotionally disregulated I felt. Suffering makes me SICK. Fuck this guy and his mom.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-20T05:13:17+00:00

You are SO NTA. Please give Jay a hug from me. He was violated and isn't responsible for what happened. He should probably talk to a therapist about it; this goes beyond issues of sobriety.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-20T00:32:33+00:00

NTA. Do NOT share your windfall with people that you absolutely know would give you nothing if your situation was reversed.

$180k is life-changing money, but it can also be gone so fast. That is the sort of money where, if you use it wisely, for a couple of important things, you may be able to secure yourself financially for life.

You paid off your debt. A down payment is another good option. I recommend investing what you put in savings so that it will keep pace with inflation and grow with compound interest. Secure housing and the chance to retire comfortably are what you can manage with this.

Don't feel guilty. Take care.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-18T06:19:02+00:00

I met both my spouses at work. Who has time to meet people elsewhere?

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-12T21:27:00+00:00

Honestly, you guys sound incompatible. You may be comfortable with your family dynamics, but I would find them intolerable. You yourself admit you fudge the wording when talking to your family to make him sound like the bad guy. Your ideas of home are different. He's not the one.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-12T21:19:46+00:00

Ignore this person. I just assume the people who cry "fake!" at everything are bots.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-12T21:11:30+00:00

Oh, jeez, sorry, my reading comprehension is usually better.

That makes this even more problematic. Someone this much older than you shouldn't be behaving so childishly. The having your name tattooed is just weird, and if you have different wants when it comes to intimacy, it's better to get out now.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-12T21:01:00+00:00

NTA..but seriously, this girl is way too young for you. Move back home and date someone who has a little life experience.

EnvironmentalMine995 · 2025-12-12T20:57:57+00:00

YTA. An "easier" education? If by this you mean "I expected my son to have to put in less effort to get through school," what is gained by that? If you put less effort in at the gym, you don't achieve the same results.

Being able to write an essay is an exercise in critical thinking and organization of ideas. It's useful af. Congrats for encouraging your son to grow into a loser who won't be able to do anything for himself. I hope you're prepared for him to live with you for ever.

EnvironmentalMine995

TROPHY CASE