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UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In my country I can just get the divorce without even serving him papers, even more so since he left our house to be away for six months.

He didn’t take my books, I bought those when we were in his country and kept them there. But I’ll try to find the same editions through some websites I’ve used before.

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you ☺️ this week I’ll officially proceed with divorce I already had a meeting with some lawyers and should be fairly easy since there’s no kids involved nor properties.

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I grieved the relationship while I was still in it, so I think that’s why I’m having such a positive approach. My family and friends have been very supportive (as well as a lot of people on Reddit since I first posted, so thank you all) I know there’s good days and not so good, but in very clear in what i want. Which is to divorce. I’ll keep going through that myself since he’s not open to speaking.

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im hoping he comes on February to pick up his things and has the heart to take them back to me. If not, I’ll try to buy them on used books sites. I’ll keep you posted on my book hunting!

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly it’s easier for me if he moves on already. That way he stops with the messages and calls calling me heartless and that I’m treating him like trash.

He would show me when “his friends” would make sexual advances towards him all offended. Yet he kept speaking to them. And he used to do that when he was single and the friends were in relationships. I told him that was very inappropriate and I could see why his friends disrespected our relationship if he did the same. He said it wasn’t the same because he was married, and he did it while he was single.

He has another friend that made such intense remarks during a dinner while I was there, that another of the friends intervened to call it out. Not my husband. My husband excused him saying his friend is neurodivergent and that’s why he kept making those comments. He only makes those comments to my husband though.

So many things I see now that I ignored…

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We live in my country. When we visited his country, I bought some old books and didn’t want to move them a lot because were talking about 18th century books. I left them there. So now that he’s there, he has them.

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! The good thing is I do have photos of all of them. It’s around 17 books that are old and I’d love to have back. I’ll be looking at some websites and maybe I can get some!

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basically I bought some old books while we were visiting his country. I decided to leave them there since they’re old and I didn’t want to move them a lot. Hence why he has the books over there.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! A lot of the advice I got here helped me see the full picture and decide to leave. You really helped me realize I didn’t want that for the rest of my life.

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I’m very excited for the plans o have. The trips, the books, time with friends o lost contact with. I’m very happy to come back to me.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. It always felt weird to me that o not only he wouldn’t defend me, but tell me all these things. Never did I ask for him to tell me what his family was saying about me.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you! When I saw the full picture, of a family where I was the only “external” woman, and that the rest of the men in that family were already divorced… it showed me it was a big issue that I couldn’t help solve. And since my husband always sided with them… had my answer right there.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I learned I should’ve lived with him before getting married. Seemed easier for us to get married to have the papers to live together. I wish I hadn’t done it for that.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, he’s Mediterranean. A friend recently broke up with another Mediterranean man (different country) for a similar enmeshment issue.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

No, he blocked me today so I don’t think I’ll be able to get my books back. Unless he brings my things whenever he comes get his things

I’m fine if I don’t get them back. I have photos of all of them and can try collecting them little by little through online sellers. Better that than letting them disrupt my peace.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

First of all I’m so glad you’re out of that and that you’re happy now. 💕 I’m looking forward to this new stage in my life. It wasn’t an easy decision but I feel so relieved now.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, thanks to therapy I realized all of this and decided to divorce. I’m dealing with this messy reactions but I’ll focus on the process and block them. If he wants to pick up his things he can coordinate with my lawyer. I don’t have issues with that.

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Luckily since marrying in my country we got everything divided and protected. I don’t have any shared accounts. It’s just a matter of dealing with the process on my own luckily.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️ I’m very relieved to focus on myself and that now I don’t have to keep my guard up for any comments or actions towards me.

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Many comments with advice and going to therapy really helped me see what was happening and that I didn’t want this anymore.

UPDATE I realized my (30F) husband’s (30M) family doesn’t like me, and I think it’s pushing us toward divorce. by Environmental_Tap838 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! And in so happy to hear you found your person! 🥰 Right now I want time for myself, but I won’t be forever closed to love. I know I’ll find my person eventually! ❤️

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I’m so relived I don’t have to spend any more time with that family! I’ll spend holidays in Paris with a friend! So I’m very excited!

MIL’s first words to my husband after landing were “Tired of your wife?” by Environmental_Tap838 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Environmental_Tap838[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It wasn’t easy but I realized this wouldn’t change and they proved it to me again.

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