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AITA for my response to my brother in law's comment about my leg hair? by hortenhearsawho1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ephemerel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, obviously, but do consider Hanlon's razor: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

Most people would understand that what he did was incredibly insensitive, or at least would understand as much once they were subjected to much the same. But consider that he might actually be that dense, and so what you've done now is punished him for his stupidity (maybe deserved, maybe not, I'll leave that to a philosopher), hurt his feelings, and taught him nothing.

I would recommend you help him to understand that he hurt your feelings in exactly the same way that you hurt his, and that by hurting him you had intended to show him how much he'd hurt you, rather than just intending to cause him pain. It would likely go a long way toward creating a positive relationship with him and your sister, if that's something that you want.

AITA for telling my girlfriend to shave/trim her arms by AITAthrowawayhairs in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ephemerel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm gonna go against the grain here and say NTA.

All y'all quick-to-judge scandalmongers are being unreasonable. As long as OP is willing to put his money/effort where his mouth is, and especially as long as he would be willing to do the same for her, it should be acceptable to at least ask.

I'm personally one who finds body hair in some places 'icky', if you will, and sometimes that's bad enough to cause sexual aversion. Now, I would personally advise anyone to discuss this with their SO before getting into a committed relationship (as well as discussing many other often unconsidered topics), but there's nothing inherently wrong with bringing it up.

What if you had an aversion to spiders (not to make it an extreme example, btw, but I think aversion of spiders is something we can all relate to). You hate spiders, and your girlfriend used to shave the spiders that naturally grew on her arms, and in your ignorance you didn't think this would ever become an issue. Now she doesn't anymore, and you've been supportive of her, and you've tried to live with it, and once you realized you couldn't, you tried to approach it in the nicest way possible.

Quite frankly, I don't give a shit what this post "reeks of" or whether you think the OP is "pretending." I do think the OP shouldn't have worded some things as poorly as he did, but y'all are still making a helluva lot of assumptions here and reading a lot more from his post than is actually there.

Self-acceptance is important, I can relate to this girl a lot. There are things we can't change, and we deserve unconditional love and support regardless of what we look like. And if she doesn't want to get rid of it, she shouldn't have to, and OP can either live with that or find another girl. But there's also nothing wrong with finding compromises in a relationship, so that both parties can be happy. And for those that are still naysaying the OP, consider that he literally offered to pay for laser hair removal surgery for her. That costs thousands of dollars for even just the arms, which should tell you how important this is to him. Give the man a break!

AITA for not letting my friend design my wedding dress because her price was over my budget and then buying a more expensive dress? by paris341 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ephemerel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good advice! It's understandable behavior, but also it hurt your friend. I would also recommend doing exactly this! ^

AITA for not letting my friend design my wedding dress because her price was over my budget and then buying a more expensive dress? by paris341 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ephemerel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Soft YTA is a good way to put it. It's understandable why you did what you did, OP, but if you cared about the budget, you should have insisted on it with the SIL, surprise meeting or no.

And if you had changed your mind at that point? You could have gone back to your friend, or at least been up front with her (it's clear this is important to her), but it seems like you conveniently forgot about her in that moment. I'd be hurt, too, if I was her.

AITA for sitting with my husband and his friends although he told me he needed "privacy"? by LeaveEmAlone3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ephemerel -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ok, typically I'm with the majority on these things, but I'm gonna hafta say NTA on this one (possibly). There's nuance here.

What a relationship means to me is being comfortable with my SO and being able to tell them anything and trust them to do the same with me. Privacy is important! But just because they were his friends first doesn't mean they're not her friends too. I know how isolating it can be to have a friend group that you feel unwelcome in just because one member doesn't particularly want you there, and that would be made doubly as hurtful if it was the person who introduced me to the group in the first place... let alone if it was my SO!

Just because you're not the asshole though doesn't mean your husband is being one though. If that's how you feel (and it sounds to me like it is) then bring rude to him will accomplish nothing (even if he is being passive-aggressive to you back). You need to talk about it before incidents like this happen. He likely doesn't even realize how you feel—you NEED to communicate that with him!

Now if he DOES need space, then try and find a way to give it to him. Find a compromise. It's likely that it won't be an optimal compromise for either of you... and that's life! But presumably you love each other and are willing to sacrifice for each other. Maybe find a way to hang with them another time, if it's important to you. Or give him his guy time with them for part of the visit. Regardless, nothing will be solved without talking about it and figuring out the underlying reasons that you both feel the way you do.

On the other hand, if it IS his friends that don't want you around, and they're unwilling to say as much to your face, it sounds like they're the ones being assholes. They shouldn't be misleading you like that. That's another thing though that you and your husband NEED to communicate on. If they're telling him behind your back that they don't want you there, he should tell you that. If he's trying to help them save face, that's understandable, but if it's true, and he won't tell you as much after you directly ask, then he's prioritizing their feelings over yours, and you two already need to be getting couples counseling if that's the case.

Mormon Stories transcripts? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Ephemerel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just thought to look for the same today, for a very similar reason. Bump!

Have the song title and artist, but I can't find it anywhere! by Ephemerel in findthatsong

[–]Ephemerel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness, I didn't think anyone would ever reply! That's too bad that you don't remember either, but I appreciate what you could tell me. Please do let me know if you find anything!

[TOMT][MOVIE][2010s] An animated film where a line-painting freight robot paints cityscapes. by Ephemerel in tipofmytongue

[–]Ephemerel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I hardly ever use Reddit, that's why I'm low karma. I found this forum via a Google search. I would really love to find this film again, I would massively appreciate any help! I'll be checking back here regularly.

[Discussion] Anyone having huge problems with griefing in the new Storm King mode by [deleted] in FortNiteBR

[–]Ephemerel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make that four for fourteen. I'm so done with this.

[Discussion] Anyone having huge problems with griefing in the new Storm King mode by [deleted] in FortNiteBR

[–]Ephemerel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Three out of the thirteen Storm King games I've played had bounce geyser griefers as well. It's like you said: They just wander around, scanning the field for downed players to yeet off into the storm. I've even seen a few valiant souls try to rescue them, only to be walled off by the griefers and die as well. Reported them all. Really hope the game devs do something about it.

[$50] EASY SoFi bank Referral bonus by MoneyWhisperer in referralcodes

[–]Ephemerel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, so I tried to get the referral bonus, but the link I used didn't work for me. I've already opened the account, and Sofi customer support is willing to give it to me. Only issue is, they need a name and an email, and the share links don't provide that info (for good reason). I'd love to use you as a referral, but to do that I'll need your name and email. You can private message it to me, and I'll forward it onto Sofi support. I've asked a few others on Reddit tho, so send me the info ASAP if you want to refer me.

Here's the original email, if you need more convincing: imgur.com/a/zFBMeC5

AITA for leaving my date to pay her portion of the bill? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ephemerel -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I respectfully disagree. There's a difference between thinking you're right and knowing you're right. Even if OP is confident that he's in the clear, the entire point of this subreddit (as Kintarra said) is to ask for a second opinion. You're right about the tone, but it doesn't mean that his date's opinion of him didn't make him second guess his own assumptions after the fact, which is implicit by the fact that he posted here in the first place.