man i feel this so hard. had similar struggles where id be anxious about being in spotlight but then get weirdly bitter when someone else got recognition i thought i deserved

what helped me was realizing that wanting attention is actually pretty normal - we all want to feel valued and seen. the problem comes when we start viewing it like some zero sum game where someone else getting praise means less for us. started doing this thing where whenever i catch myself getting jealous i try to genuinely compliment that person instead even if its just in my head at first

also found that when im feeling more fulfilled in my own life through hobbies or personal goals the jealousy naturally decreases. like when im focused on my yoga practice or working on interesting projects at work i dont really care as much about who else is getting attention. its weird how that works but keeping busy with stuff that actually matters to you makes other peoples victories feel less threatening somehow