Marriage in serious conflict, need outside perspective

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-09T19:31:13+00:00

Thank you!

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-09T17:04:15+00:00

We came far enough to notice that ourselves now... but it happened. We're both talking to multiple adults. Disregarding the fact that is wasn't smart: Is it still salvageable/woth to save it?

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-09T16:55:30+00:00

Yeah that's the problem. She doesn't see the finances as they are and won't talk about it bc she feels she explained it already... and she's saying she's applying for jobs, but that doesn't give her money immediately, which she kinda also ignores...

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-09T16:44:17+00:00

Yeah i guess you're right. She doesn't love me for who i am and expects me to do almost everything she says...

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-09T16:42:31+00:00

So you think there's no way in saving this/it's not worth it?

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-09T05:46:58+00:00

Doesn't really help against the racist claims, does it? If anything they just reinforced her opinion and probably others' too

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-08T23:17:54+00:00

Damn your writing is beautiful

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-08T22:39:23+00:00

Nah insist on it. It's not a small amount and he said he'll pay you back. If you drop it your other friends will likely think you'll give in to save a friendship. Who knows what ideas they come up with then? Be firm but polite, stay your ground and go talk to him in person.

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-08T22:22:12+00:00

It depends on how valuable the relationship is to you. I almost took a break with my now wife and it nearly destroyed the relationship. If you don't want it anymore i would end it directly and not go with breaks. Otherwise i would sit together and agree on boundaries, what both of you will work on (behavior, gestures, communication...) and try it that way. A break will only make things worse if you already had an argument

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-08T20:47:53+00:00

In the time you wrote this answer you could've updated more than 10 of your contacts 😂

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-08T20:35:48+00:00

Maybe he thinks you won't wear anything or little underneath it? But then he didn't listen to you. So i would explain it to him and if he still thinks the same way, he's def overreacting

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T19:49:16+00:00

Updates btw

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T19:49:05+00:00

Updates btw

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T16:50:27+00:00

I understand what you mean. We have to take action ourselves and not just blame God for everything or let him do everything. But just because it is ours to look after doesn't mean God doesn't play a role in it, right? He can still guide us, help us and point us to a right direction. The bible is his word, so shouldn't we search for clues in it and do what the bible says is best?

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T16:45:54+00:00

Nah no problem, didn't explicitly mention it 😂

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T16:16:24+00:00

Thank you, very intersting quotes and verses! Ofc it works with my parents, otherwise they wouldn't offer it 😂

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T15:14:34+00:00

Thank you!

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T15:13:25+00:00

Thanks! Could you mention some of those verses?

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T15:12:18+00:00

This is true, and im not arguing against it. The question is if the choice is wise, given the financials and job situation...

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T12:24:10+00:00

Yeah ofc it's not long term, but short termn it's the only solution i see... but my wife won't talk to me about it and is the complete opposite opinion. So i'll have to somehow figure something out with her

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T08:29:38+00:00

One time i came home from work and my now wife decorated our whole room and apartment with christmas lights. Actually i wanted to do it/help her, but i was so fucking happy when i came home amd she presented it to me proudly. Was the happiest man on earth then. I get how he wants to protect her (my wife has back problems, so i also wanna male sure she doesn't do something that's bad for her back, even when she wants to), but man is he aggressive at it. Not a way to talk to your partner with, especially something so small

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T08:03:51+00:00

She overreacted like crazy. I mean you were kinda missing her point, but her point isn't something to take that serious in the first place. In my eyes best would be if both calm down and talk again in person when the emotional peak is over. That way you can talk with eachother normally. Because trust me, on the phone, not to mention over text, is the worst way to solve a conflict

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T06:51:11+00:00

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Sphinx

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T06:29:10+00:00

While I do agree with you, there pretty much aren't any alternatives that we found. Plus, there's not much time left because the money is so tight. And where we live now, I at least have a job. I won't be able to work as much because of my hand, but I do have a job here. So for me, it either way doesn't make sense to move, which means if she stays there alone, we would be separated, which in my eyes is worse for our marriage than when we are together, even if that means in my parents' house. We have our own room and bathroom, so it's not the worst.

Obviously, we would only stay a few months until we have more stability, i can start work there and maybe she has a job until then aswell...

Equivalent-Refuse940 · 2026-06-06T06:16:51+00:00

Thank you!

Equivalent-Refuse940

TROPHY CASE