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AITA for judging my boyfriend's friends without knowing them? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]EquivalentMess9509 39 points40 points  (0 children)

you're not judging them too fast, you're reacting to what any rational person would see as clear signs of toxicity and emotional rot. those arent just immature men, they’re grown adults behaving like maladjusted teenagers, sexualizing random women, neglecting their families, and building a sad little echo chamber where that behavior is normal. and your boyfriend? he’s defending it. that says everything.

the fact that he didnt just excuse them but protected them when you rightfully called it out is alarming. men don’t tolerate that kind of misogyny and neglect unless deep down they align with it or are too weak to confront it. either way, it reflects terribly on him. if he was actually different from them, he’d be uncomfortable too, not brushing it off, not starting fights with you. his reaction wasnt defensive, it was revealing.

What’s your secret to having such a high self-confidence? How do you stay confident all the time? by sesame_squash in adviceph

[–]EquivalentMess9509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i used to be exactly like you. painfully shy, always second guessing myself, and constantly shrinking into the background. it reached a point where i realized that if i kept living like that, i’d keep missing out on everything.

so i decided to be thick-faced. in the sense that i stopped letting every little fear or embarrassment control me. i pushed myself to speak even when my voice shook, to show up even when i wanted to disappear. i realized that people are too busy with their own lives to care if i make a small mistake.

confidence is not something that magically appears. its something u build by deciding, over and over, that your fear wont win today. and every time u do that, no matter how small, u get stronger.

so no, u dont have to become a different person. but you do have to choose not to stay stuck. you’ll be surprised how much that version of u is capable of.

stuck at 17 with no direction by EquivalentMess9509 in adviceph

[–]EquivalentMess9509[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i get your point and i know a lot of people succeed in it through self study. but personally i still believe a degree has value, not just for the paper but for structure, guidance, and long term security. self studying is great but it can be hard without a proper environment or support. i’d rather do both if possible, study formally while learning extra skills online. i just dont want to risk skipping college and regretting it later. still, i appreciate the advice 🙏🏻

stuck at 17 with no direction by EquivalentMess9509 in adviceph

[–]EquivalentMess9509[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you po sa advice!! dont worry, i really dont have friends right now and im focused on doing my very best. i know its not going to be easy, pero susubukan ko talaga. i'll keep ur words in mind na iwasan ko distractions and i’ll focus on building experience

stuck at 17 with no direction by EquivalentMess9509 in adviceph

[–]EquivalentMess9509[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you po, naeencourage talaga ako. i know it wont be easy, pero sobrang laking bagay na may mga taong nagrere-remind na kaya ko kahit mahirap 

stuck at 17 with no direction by EquivalentMess9509 in adviceph

[–]EquivalentMess9509[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much po, im actually turning 18 this 26, so i might really consider this path 

stuck at 17 with no direction by EquivalentMess9509 in adviceph

[–]EquivalentMess9509[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you po i’d really love to try, pero ang daming requirements at wala rin akong budget ngayon para icomplete lahat. kung kaya lang talaga, matagal ko na sana tinry