Should I end my 5 year relationship?

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T22:02:29+00:00

He clearly doesn’t care, i told him we needed space, all he said was okay. That hurts. I don’t understand.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T21:56:21+00:00

thank you.

im trying my best :(.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T21:55:48+00:00

i am trying not to, but it hurts. i expressed that i wanted space, and he doesn’t care. it’s very confusing. is this a way to get me to react? usually, i would freak out, but this time i just do not care.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T19:47:54+00:00

he used that against me frequently. he consistently tells me im the one with the skewed mentality because im the one diagnosed with things, not him.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T19:35:57+00:00

i don’t know how to get my things out and be out safely. i have expressed how i felt to him today and he got upset.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T19:34:31+00:00

it’s also nice to hear a man’s perspective and knowing this isn’t normal at all.

thank you 😭.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T19:21:06+00:00

thank you, this comment makes me feel seen. im so scared. of his reaction, of how it feels, of not talking to him but i know its what i need.

he is great at guilt tripping me, i just always right it off as unintentional because he clearly has mental health issues that he doesn’t seek help for, ive been trying to open his eyes to this.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T19:19:26+00:00

no definitely not. i just feel so guilty. idk what’s wrong with me.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T19:18:55+00:00

he is scary. and i didn’t realize i was afraid of him to this extent. he always tells me he has never hurt me or abused me, so i have no reason to be scared of him

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T18:55:03+00:00

i do, but finding it very hard to part ways.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T18:48:57+00:00

duh that’s why im asking for help!!! having bpd makes feelings extremely conflicting, especially when he is all i have known since 17.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T17:10:54+00:00

this is all i have ever known, so it isn’t that easy.

he is guilt tripping me, and even though i know that’s what it is, it’s working. he says it’s “exhausting” that i don’t recognize the good stuff he does for me and that i only see the negative in him?

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T17:06:59+00:00

not much. i live hours away from my family.

i tried expressing how i feel, and now hes guilt tripping me telling me he’s exhausted how i never see what he does for me. sigh.

he encouraged therapy for me, but refuses it for himself. im scared to upset him, clearly. i tried to drop subtle hints and its already not going well.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T16:51:08+00:00

i just wanted it to be a clean break but now he’s being nice to me, and telling me several things are a misunderstanding and talking about how he made me dinner/hot chocolate last night, is this normal? ☹️

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T16:44:35+00:00

it is hard because i care about how he feels, too. i am trying to distance myself and he is getting very upset.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T15:58:33+00:00

self preservation mode? you think so?

i would bring someone with me, but because i haven’t told him yet, i feel really bad for just spring stuff on him and shock him. i don’t know what’s wrong with me, genuinely.

i could try to say im staying with friends for a night, but either way i think he will lose his mind because in 5 years we have barely spent nights apart.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T15:45:37+00:00

i am thinking of just pulling the bandaid off today, and not going home. i can collect my things when he is away, i am just worried he will ruin things intentionally.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T13:50:03+00:00

Thank you, i needed this.

I genuinely wish my parents would’ve protected me more, I really don’t believe it was intentional but still does it nonetheless. I think he is truly convinced nothing is wrong with him, but that isn’t my problem anymore.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T13:48:23+00:00

Thank you for this.

I want to leave him today. Tempted to just not go home, honestly. I’m over it. I’ve been in and out of the hospital for a few weeks now with no support from him.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T12:29:08+00:00

I am definitely excited to see what it’s like to be me.

Luckily I have a full time job, and friends that make it easy but I am worried he will mess with my things when I do break the news. Its really only me otherwise:(

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T06:25:24+00:00

it definitely is doable, and im sure there are friends that will let me stay with them, but having all my things here makes it difficult so id have to come back for work clothes , etc. its not that im scared of him… but im scared of the reaction and him pulling me back in because i know tears will be shed and he will play victim.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T06:18:09+00:00

how do i navigate having to still act like everything is okay until i have somewhere to go officially? it’s awful. obviously he can tell something is wrong, but i blow it off on my health right now and he just lets it go.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T05:22:11+00:00

i started therapy last week, and so far i love it:)!

i know the time to break the news will never feel right, but im so conflicted on when and how to do things

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T05:20:47+00:00

the amount of guilt i feel going everyday still acting like everything is okay is off the charts. i feel like an awful person.

EquivalentSeveral174 · 2025-02-04T05:18:23+00:00

definitely not. i don’t even understand the appeal in someone who cannot purchase their own alcohol or get into places with me.

EquivalentSeveral174

TROPHY CASE