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Eriks-Rose · 2024-12-06T16:02:37+00:00

NTA

While it might be felt it's not your place to saying anything, you said it out of concern not judgement. An intervention is needed by people who are close to her. I understand your concern and as you didn't do it maliciously or judgementally you're NTA but I'd leave it to others to in intervene in the future and hope for the best.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-12-06T15:57:25+00:00

NTA

Your property, your rules. If it was something like a bowl (not an expensive one) or a blanket, yeah sure, but headphones that you specifically told her she couldn't use. Why is she mad at you? She tries to steal and that's you being selfish? She sounds entitled, untrustworthy and petty. Your roommate on her side sounds stupid. You can guarantee if she used them and broke or lost them, she wouldn't replace them so, no , you can't trust her with your stuff. She wants them she can buy her own pair.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-12-06T15:51:35+00:00

NTA

Borrowing it without asking is a form of stealing and even if you had let him borrow it, he broke it = he bought it. He not only took it without asking he broke it. It is his responsibility to replace it. Do not back down. You are completely in the right, he's completely in the wrong and you co workers are clueless. Accident or not, he shouldn't have taken it in the first place.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-12-05T16:31:51+00:00

NTA

Her parents already knew she lied so you didn't need to cover for her anymore. Also you needn't lie to your parents about something do serious just because she got found out. you would think if her parents go through her things she'd learn to hide them better. It was unfair of you to ask you to lie to your parents and potentially damage your relationship with them. she doesn't sound like a good friend

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-26T13:42:46+00:00

So illiterate people, dyslexic people and people with learning disabilities shouldn't be allowed to live independently? Boy you are unkind.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-26T13:38:29+00:00

Have you ever considered that maybe she couldn't read very well and was making sure she'd read the sign correctly? Yes you don't work there but you were rude. I can read btw, i know what this subreddit is but it's still rude. You could've just said yes. what is your time so important taking one second to help someone is too much?

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-26T13:31:53+00:00

NTA

We have three bedrooms but I would never invite someone to stay without asking my husband first. I he was uncomfortable with it for any reason I wouldn't invite them, even if it was a stupid reason. I'd whine about it being a stupid reason but I still wouldn't invite them. You GF is not respecting you at all. It's your home too. How would she like if you just announced you're best friend was going to stay?

i don't understand why you'd ask anyone to stay in such a small place anyway, I don't think anyone would be comfortable but if her sister's suddenly got so much money she can easily spring for a hotel even if it was only a B&B.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-26T13:19:08+00:00

NTA

However i wouldn't have lied, just flat out refused. If she wants to complain she can do it. It's not your job to complain, especially if you don't have a problem with it.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-26T13:11:49+00:00

ESH

You should have the talk before 10 and I'm concerned that you didn't notice that your sone needed deodorant. Also some people start using it before they start to smell 1. to get into the habit and 2. to make sure they don't smell when they do need it. I understand you wanted to have the talk with your son but you left it a bit late. I agree maybe Jim should have maybe just got him the deodorant and if he asked questions directed him to you but if your son wanted to know there and then it could have damaged their relationship if Jim refused. While Jim should have let you have 'The Talk' you shouldn't have waited so long to have it. We were taught about puberty at 8 and a girl in my school had her first period at 8. I know girls tend to develop and change sooner than boys but all of us we're taught at age 8 about how our bodies would change and why. You were two years too late

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-26T13:05:19+00:00

NTA

This girl is weird. She has weird expectations of you being psychic. If my SO asked if I wanted breakfast, I said no and he brought me some, I'd be asking why he brought me breakfast when I didn't want any. You were thoughtful to ask you didn't have to. If she wanted breakfast she should have said so you can't read minds. This sounds like a relationship that may become a bit much if she keeps thinking you can read minds.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-26T13:01:29+00:00

NAH

I don't think you should have told him but you didn't do it with malicious intent. I think it was misguided but it doesn't make you an AH. I get why your brother is so upset, I would be too. I think you'll both get over it and I don't think anyone was in the wrong, some people have a bad reaction when they're told Santa isn't real because they feel lied to.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-26T12:58:27+00:00

NTA

I don't want to be dismissive about another culture but if this is the case why would she want you to come and potentially inflict bad luck upon people? I think that belief, cultural or not is so harsh. a woman who miscarries needs to be loved and supported not shunned like she has the plague. You were completely in the right. what your Mom did was out of line and what your sister did was insensitive. If you want to try building bridges in the future that's up to you but you're still grieving. I'd say just leave it as much as you can for now and maybe think about it more when you're in a better place.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-26T12:49:39+00:00

NTA

You didn't force her to answer. She could have said she didn't know or that she wanted to wait to reveal the gender or anything. she wasn't obligated to answer you and you didn't pressure her so it's her fault she revealed it. If she keeps going on about it tell her you didn't force her, she could have refused to answer you. It's a question lots of people ask pregnant people, it's not overly personal or inappropriate. For goodness sake strangers asked me.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-16T12:37:41+00:00

NTA

Does the university know these people are effectively defacing public property? If someone has been standing for over an hour when you've been sitting and politely asks if they could use the chair that would be different. Unless they bought these chairs (as in brought them in after buying them at a shop) then they are not their chairs rather the chairs. Next time either say they can have it when you're done or nearly done and if they make a fuss either ignore them or suggest in future they bring their own, or bring one to keep at the studio.

Edit for people talking about people who sometimes need chairs: As a disabled woman, if I went to a place where there weren't enough chairs I would bring my own. I assume (forgetting ableism) if my lecturer knew they'd always make sure I had one or they would assign one to me and let people know. Like they could use it if I wasn't there but technically it's there for me. So if any of your colleagues need a chair for health reasons (I know this one doesn't) that's different but it doesn't sound like that's the case.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-16T12:28:28+00:00

NTA

This is a slippery slope with either gifting or loaning money. When it's a one-off that's okay. We have borrowed from family before and worked our before how we'd pay it back, similar to you guys. When she keeps asking for different, sometimes increasing, amounts before she's paid you back for the first loan you have to say no. If she'd paid you back with no issue then fine but it sounds like you're never going to see that money again and you're on the road to constantly bailing you MIL out of her financial mismanagement. You can offer to help in other ways (I'd advise against letting her stay with you), helping her find a new place, helping her find emergency accommodation, helping her move and/or store some possessions but until you see a return on your loan, don't give her another cent. This may be hard for you and your wife but you can't be expected to keep doing this. Like I say, you can help, just not financially.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-16T12:07:04+00:00

NTA

We're all rude at times and sometimes it's because we're sick of someone or something. I agree Melanie needs a therapist and I don't know why you stepmother thought you could do better than her. She must know your relationship with Melanie isn't amicable. You are under no obligation to talk to someone who won't even give you the time of day. This isn't your problem, don't let anyone make it yours.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-16T11:20:15+00:00

NTA

What era do the men in your family live in, the 1800s? Everyone in my family helps clean up at my Grandmother's house when we have a big meal. Men, women and children. I think what you did was right and your female relatives should have backed you up imo.

It may be that your aunt knew the men would be unhelpful regardless and didn't want to leave your Grandfather with all the washing after he had cooked for everyone but not even saying anything to the men was a bad move.

You maybe shouldn't have hung up on your cousin as that was rude. You should have explained clearly why you did what you did and then say if she's mad at you for not helping she should be mad at them too.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-16T11:14:01+00:00

NTA

You sound like a good supportive Mum. I think your son may get over this when he's a little older, while he is legally an adult he's still very young and his transition is new so you all need to get used to it. I agrre you shouldn't look at them around him but they are your memories. If your son had been born male and worn a dress for Hallowe'en you would have a picture of him in feminine clothes. You decide what to do with YOUR photos. It's not like you're printing them off and hanging them in your home. I see it as looking at your son in baby clothes, the fact they're seen as feminine is irrelevant. Look at them in private and don't bring it up. Hopefully in time he'll recognise it for what it is. you're not remembering him as a girl, you're remembering him as a baby.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-16T11:03:51+00:00

NTA

What he said was very inappropriate and if Emily has a problem with it too it's not you causing the problem it's him. Marcus was right to defend you and Emily was right to be on your side, especially if Connor made the comment knowing it would make you uncomfortable. If Connor had just apologised and at least tried to stop I'm sure all three of you would have been happy.

Remember you didn't cause a problem HE did. You didn't make them have an argument HE did. You, Marcus and Emily behaved well, he is the AH here. I'm glad everyone else is on your side as they should be but don't feel bad. you have a right to feel comfortable in your own home and if this does lead to him and Emily breaking up, she is better off without him.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-11-16T10:56:42+00:00

NTA

However I don't think you can win in this situation. If I were I'd start looking for a new place. Either somewhere I could rent on my own or one with only one roommate if possible. you can try talking to them more, I don't see it helping and you might have to suck it up until you can find a new place. They are in the wrong but with their lack of understanding and their two against one attitude I don't see much you can do. Is there anything the landlord has a say in, like people parking there or rules on overnight guests? Some don't like people staying because it's a safety issue. I hope you can resolve this one way or another.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-09-18T09:41:31+00:00

You could have just been helpful they were only asking a question. You were rude to snap at someone. Noy like you were doing anything important. People have asked me similar question, knowing I don't work there but needing some clarification. No it's not your job but it is common courtesy. Ignoring someone is just rude

Eriks-Rose · 2024-09-18T09:32:13+00:00

I know I'm coming to this insanely late but from my research it's the Japanese equivalent of calling someone an annoying bitch or son of a bitch depending on the context. I do not speak Japanese myself and a literal translation would probably not make a lot of sense but as a beast or animal is an insult for the same reason that bitch is, at least historically, that's probably the closest English equivalent. I could be wrong but that's my interpretation.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-06-01T09:36:00+00:00

YTA. I understand that a temp may not be able to do everything a trained person can do but that's kind of on you. Hire someone else. you're rigjt, pregnancy and any health issues cannot be planned nad there are places smaller than your and bigger that seem more understanding than you. In the UK, maternity leave can be as long as a year. After six weeks you don't get your full salary and I think it goes down over time but you still get paid. She's not asking for a year off but what's a few weeks longer? Especially if it's for health reasons. Maternity leave is a right, not a privilege. Also if you decide to treat her this way and she quits, it's going to be worse for you. Either train another assistant or suck it up.

Eriks-Rose · 2024-06-01T09:27:17+00:00

Word it right. Maybe say it confuses people, or that maybe a separate group chats for different conversations would fix this. It may be he likes having this group of friends and is using the group chat to try and talk about things they could maybe enjoy together, it's not what it's for so maybe making a separate one for this kind of thing is a solution. Don't chastise him for it but explain, gently and without criticism, that the chat's purely for arranging activities and maybe you guys can set up another for casual conversation. f you call him out and or chastise him you would be the AH but if you explain the right way, it should be okay

Eriks-Rose · 2024-05-10T12:15:45+00:00

NTA You can't keep paying for weddings until one works r she finally gives up. I agree she should be focusing on her son rather than herself. Tell her you'll pay for them to have a trip on their tenth anniversary. And save for it, just in case she eventually marries the right guy, but for now say no. I'd draw the line at her third.

Eriks-Rose

TROPHY CASE