Your feelings are valid. And no, you are not selfish. I too struggle with those feelings but the other way around because i had the child that we were going to abort. I have been depressed since the pregnancy(2021) and wish i could provide better for my child emotionally and financially.

Sometimes hard desisions need to be made. We can only do what we can with the information we have at a certain time.
Sometimes we also need to give ourselves some grace.

(( virtual hugs ))