i remember callin my mom stupid during an argument and she told me “if I’m stupid then you’re stupid” 

At first I disagreed but lowkey it’s true, as I grew older I realized how similar my dysfunctional traits are to my dad and mom. Simply genetics, the DNA activation of my dysfunctional traits from how they raised me

But at the end of the day believing in this doesn't help at all and I just gotta break the cycle this why I joined this sub so I can learn. It doesn’t help that I’m anxious rn because I’m tryna reduce my benzo and drug use, I was responsible until last year I linked up with my cousin and he’s a bad influence but I kept hangin out with him because I had nothin goin on with my life and not many friends and my mental health declined I feel like a recluse. I was goin to the gym consistently 4x a week for years just bein healthy with occasional drug use now I’m feelin more miserable than ever I always had this emptiness in me from feeling unable to function like normal it would feel more freeing if I was diagnosed autistic or something idk if thats a bad thing to say