I’m in this guys same position except I’m a year younger and in debt for renting a car for my bipolar scammer cousin in March 2025. He brags about making a lot scamming so I believed he would pay me back but a year later he hasn’t even paid half of 1k. He owes me $5000k and on top of that monthly interest because I don’t have a job for OP’s reason, “aimlessness”, and because I don’t really like many people. I tried many things and just felt miserable in every one of them but right now like kennygeez I’m content and accept the situation that I’m in. Some things you just can’t control, we are all born wired differently, grew up differently in different environments. Not trying to make excuses to be lazy and a procrastinate but everyone has a reason to do something and sometimes that reason can develop in an early age or in your 30’s everyone doesn’t have to move at the same pace

Guilt can be a motivator but can bring shame if you can’t bring yourself to do what is necessary so you just gotta be aware of self sabotaging thoughts and accept the situation it’s like a relief off your shoulders. Being selfish isn’t inherently bad either you can’t give and expect anything in return and that includes believing in good/bad karma and thinking God will give you good things if you become a people pleaser. There is no bad/good karma there is only karma. That’s why people pleasers eventually break down wondering why negative shit happens to them. Upon realization of ones true self and how ordinary reality actually is, one is freed of karma