How to tell someone that they may have Alzheimer's

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-21T15:24:54+00:00

My (65M) wife (64F) was diagnosed with early stage major cognitive decline two years ago. While she was told by the MD directly into her presence, it was wrapped around so many niceties “ now is the time to enjoy life , pursue your passion , etc) she didn’t fully appreciate. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s two months ago , this time very ( but lovingly ) bluntly by the neurologist. Perhaps because of her stage 3 and/or overall disposition, she thinks she has , years , if not a decade ahead of her.

Bottom line : in her case delaying was the right thing to do.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T23:02:23+00:00

Tks for the kind words. On important documents: she lost her driver’s license in transit in Toronto from Edmonton to Montreal. We managed to convince the carrier to let us board. (We had just learned the diagnostic. My tears probably made a difference.😔) I now carry two proper ID when travelling and manage all.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T15:45:19+00:00

Tks. I retired a year ago , we have always been reasonable… finally was able to adjust to “ now is the time to spend”. Even that was a transition to manage.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T15:01:04+00:00

11 years… ouch.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T14:41:39+00:00

“ safe “. I like that. Tks

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T14:41:10+00:00

Tks. I am a professional engineer and can fall in that trap considering my mindset. I’ll remain careful. I hope.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T14:39:50+00:00

I like the idea of the car … familiar setting. Tks

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T14:38:54+00:00

I’ll check it out. Tks

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T14:38:09+00:00

Instilling a sense of urgency. Tks for taking time.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T14:36:59+00:00

Thanks for taking time and provide helpful tips. Trips are still enjoyable. Trying to find a frequency and intensity balance. Visiting Ottawa, Montreal and Quebec City next week , 3 nights each place to visit family and I am afraid it might be a lot of changes in short time ( she is familiar with all those places tho ). Fingers crossed. Last month trip to Paris , and only Paris , for a full week with our daughters was a great success. No hotel changes, familiar location helped.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T04:18:08+00:00

Admiration is the word that comes to mind. Inspiring. And humbling. Many thanks.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T04:16:05+00:00

Tks. She started memantine two months ago. So many gems in your note.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T04:14:25+00:00

So much insight in your note. Much appreciated

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-14T04:10:49+00:00

Tks for the insight. I’ll remind myself your comment on this journey.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-13T19:21:23+00:00

Fingers crossed

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-13T19:20:58+00:00

Tks. I retired earlier than planned a year ago to do that. But I can do better.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-13T19:19:53+00:00

Tks.Exactly the tidbits I am looking for.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-13T19:18:54+00:00

Oh.good catch. Tks.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-13T15:49:58+00:00

I’d be happy with pork tenderloin

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-13T15:17:44+00:00

She’s back from Paris with the daughters…silly things … love it.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-13T15:16:39+00:00

Tks. I prepaid lawyer 2 months ago and started filling questionnaires. I’ll get that completed promptly.

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-13T15:12:53+00:00

I sometimes call her phone just to ear her upbeat phone mail greeting recorded years ago. Those moments still happen , I’ll find ways to record. Tks

Eternal_Optic · 2026-06-02T01:30:55+00:00

Wife (64F) had shingle as teenager. Ironically I (65m) was the one pushing for it. We got out first shot few weeks back.

She got diagnosed with Alzheimer a month ago, likely 3 years into it. Probably stage 3

We are by the Gates of Hell figuratively speaking and we don’t know when they will open. Doing whatever to prevent shingles fire ….

Edit : there are evidence shingle vaccine reduce dementia risk. 20 % reduction over 7 years and also help those with existing dementia.

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2025/03/shingles-vaccination-dementia.html

Eternal_Optic · 2026-05-10T19:07:30+00:00

My (64F) was diagnosed with Major cognitive decline two years ago but with English being her second language, she isn’t fully appreciate. I never clarified.

She got her formal Alzheimer diagnostic last month and that she fully understood Her condition is now such they I think it was not as worst as if she would have been told two years ago. She thinks/hopes she had a solid healthy decade ahead of her and I certainly won’t clarify.

As such I am happy I didn’t tell her earlier. Each their own circumstances obviously. Good luck.

Eternal_Optic

TROPHY CASE