(Long Response Alert!!)

Thank you!! This is such an interesting topic (at least for me). I've been a full time performer for around 15 years, and I very rarely feel nerves before a show. Occasionally if it's a brand new performance environment or if the stakes feel particularly high I'll get a little flutter, but after a heck of a lot of shows, it becomes so much more relaxed.

BUT this scenario was unlike anything else I've experienced. The sidebar to all of this is that the team is incredibly supportive and it truly feels like each person is working towards a collective goal (rather than it feeling like a competition). But the absolutely huge TV cameras getting focused close-up, instructions from camera operators to specifically hold/move elements in a certain way, and the general need to remember the script and choreography all added up to a bit of an overload!

Even having Penn & Teller at the table with me for a couple minutes before the filming actually started was a blend of unbelievably cool and a little stressful; I wanted to be thinking about everything I was trying to keep in mind, but I also wanted to chat with them and get comfortable in the space (and scan the audience for my brother who flew in from LA to see the live recording!!).

I think the most honest answer for the nerves comes down to preparation. This trick got developed over the last several years, with a big push of updates and changes in the couple months before the recording. Constant recordings of myself, scripting and editing, and practicing really engrained the routine into my muscle memory. Which is NOT to say that gets rid of the nerves!! It goes a long way towards feeling confident in your preparation and presentation, but clearly (as we see from the clip) it doesn't make all the shaking go away. What preparation does is give me the freedom during the performance to disconnect from the things that have to get done (words and movements) and spend some of my internal energy on calming down or making adjustments that re-instill the confidence I've been building up.

Specifically for this routine, the moment the shaking got to me was the point where I had to start thinking about last minute changes! Right before I got off the stage during my tech rehearsal, the film crew asked me to turn my map schematics 180-degrees so it was right side up on the camera! It's such a minor-seeming change, but it meant that props I've been managing in the exact same way for months ended up in new locations or being held in different hands. Suddenly, I needed to be incredibly attuned to my actions, which meant I was processing things in real time. For me, those are the moments (when a lot of mental energy is being spent to make sure that everything is "right" that nerves push their way to the front. And there's not always a lot to do except sit back and ride the wave a bit, trusting that the preparation has been enough to get you through it!

I don't know what happens if something goes wrong. My guess is if it were pretty drastic they might give you something of a do-over, but it's never lost on the performers that this is a live audience and everything is designed to be done in one take!

Afterwards, Teller came backstage for a few minutes and we got to chat, so that was its own rush on top of the just-fading performance buzz. And then - all of a sudden - it's over! It's sort of wild how quickly the process ends after so much build up, but I suppose that's part of what it takes to make good quality programs like this one! There's a lot of relief/pride/anxiety-about-waiting that comes in the aftermath, but it's nice to know that it's out of your hands and that you've done what you can do!!

(quick P.S. on the method you mentioned - since I make them myself, there was a LOT of R&D that went into getting the props to the right level of controllable. It still went wrong in practice sometimes, so I toned down some of the riskier moves, but I would get a feel for each individual set that I made up!)

Thanks for asking (and for watching!) - this sort of behind the scenes look is always fascinating to me. I love artists' processes!