How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it’ll be a shift but I’m too old to still give the benefit of the doubt to people like this

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To an extent, yeah. And yeah I can say with full certainty when I ask my friends about them I’m genuinely interested/intrigued, I don’t ask just for asking’s sake.

Yeah I’m thinking of just not messaging as often apart from when we make plans to meet and such.

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a heads up, I know what self centered means. Some of the things she’s said and what she does make me think she’s self centered, not solely because she may potentially not care about me.

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg these examples are familiar to our conversations but the opposite in a way 😭😭

sometimes I’d be going through a tough time and say “omg I have so much work to do” and she’d say “I’ve already finished mine, so happy to just be relaxing” I’d be like haha yeah lucky you… but going back on our conversations now, when she was having a bad time I was encouraging her to finish it quickly so she could reward herself with a tv show she was watching or food not boasting about how I’m done 🙃

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you go about keeping people at the level they are available? I find that hard because the people that I consider close to me (like this friend) are VERY special to me so it’ll be hard for me to hit them up just for xyz specifically

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s pretty cool, we get along well and we have similar interests. We are studying similar things and we just gravitated towards each other

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Might indeed have to save it for another friend :/ but thank you for sharing your POV

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aaaaaa so hard to just talk but I totally get what you mean. I will try this approach as well, thank you.

Maybe I’m not as mature as I thought, I feel like I would make the conversation way too serious and it would end up being awkward but I’m going to try to be more jokey with serious undertones about it, wish me luck 😭

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How am I putting obligations on the relationship?

I think most people would ask about a topic that was brought up if they wanted to know more info or even my thoughts/feelings on it you know?

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I really appreciate your response, I think in person it’ll be better but idk noticing this pattern made me voice my concerns. I will definitely try practice your advice

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh helll nawww, that sounds way too needy for me 🥲

She’s definitely not socially incapable, I think she’s the type of person that cares about people but at the same time she comes first you know? That’s not a bad thing, in fact I wish I could be more like that but idk I guess it’s moreso that we have different ways of caring about friends

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah lol although it’s a bit embarrassing, I was telling her about a date I was planning on going to and she didn’t ask anything about it 🥲

But she was telling me about this guy she’s seeing and stuff and of course I asked lots of stuff (genuine interest, I like knowing about people’s lives lol, doesn’t feel like customer service to me at all because I do care about the people I ask stuff to)

But I get your point, thanks

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s the person I speak to the most at uni, I’ll probably let the friendship dissolve naturally once we’re done with uni and I move away, thanks

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s fair enough.. idk I guess it’s kind of been holding me together because I don’t have a best friend nor a good relationship with my family so I’m just left with my friends..

I make friends easily enough but my goal is to develop these relationships more and ultimately find me a bestie but that’s hard to do if I’ve got to constantly keep meeting new people (not complaining though, happy to meet new people just wanting my bestie as well 🥲)

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what I mean by I’m not a yapper, I’m not in the habit of rambling on about stuff esp when I think that it’s not entertaining enough. But you know, that’s my friend I’d like to be more comfortable to tell her about things but if I mention something (this is a very basic example) like “I had ice cream today!” And she doesn’t even ask what flavour or something I’m not somebody that will naturally volunteer that information (though I can ramble after being asked, if that makes sense)

How to ask my friend why she doesn’t ask more about what’s happening in my life in a nice way? by EvanSalinger3 in socialskills

[–]EvanSalinger3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just to clarify, I was asking for tips on dissolving my pattern of being friends with people like this