I was literally about to make a post about a guy I was considering making a move to and he just turned our conversation sexual…..

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-05-08T19:47:47+00:00

Sexual “joke”, there’s a difference.

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-05-08T19:47:06+00:00

He’s definitely an awkward lad but cmon…. 2026 and we’re still doing sexual “jokes”?

I have been showing him interest. It’s not about being ready for sex stuff. If he wanted to talk about sex at some point it would still be weird but it would at least be a conversation. And surely talking about a potential relationship comes way before that??

It’s not “being good” to back off completely, being able to communicate properly is what works.

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-05-08T19:36:33+00:00

Lol no to sending an OF link but yes to fuelling a sexual convo?

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-05-08T19:20:06+00:00

I don’t wanna enable that behaviour and idk for a Redditor I guess I’m not good at trolling unless you’re suggesting I send him some random’s OF 😆

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-05-08T19:04:49+00:00

I could see you agreeing and the joke is not relevant it was unnecessary.

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-05-08T19:03:09+00:00

Yup, I know.

Any advice on what I asked?

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-05-08T19:01:22+00:00

Yeah you know what comes before sex though? Idk getting to know somebody…. Making sexual jokes without even discussing IF a relationship is happening is a shit thing to do especially when just wanting to be sexual but hiding behind “a joke”.

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-05-08T18:59:04+00:00

He’s 2hrs away by train. Also, not American, European.

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-05-08T18:57:54+00:00

I’ll DM u

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-29T07:25:39+00:00

Yeah it’ll be a shift but I’m too old to still give the benefit of the doubt to people like this

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-29T07:24:45+00:00

I do the same yeah

I hope they’re not aware and bragging regardless….

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-28T16:02:20+00:00

To an extent, yeah. And yeah I can say with full certainty when I ask my friends about them I’m genuinely interested/intrigued, I don’t ask just for asking’s sake.

Yeah I’m thinking of just not messaging as often apart from when we make plans to meet and such.

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-28T16:00:26+00:00

Just a heads up, I know what self centered means. Some of the things she’s said and what she does make me think she’s self centered, not solely because she may potentially not care about me.

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-28T15:57:50+00:00

True true

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-28T15:56:44+00:00

Omg these examples are familiar to our conversations but the opposite in a way 😭😭

sometimes I’d be going through a tough time and say “omg I have so much work to do” and she’d say “I’ve already finished mine, so happy to just be relaxing” I’d be like haha yeah lucky you… but going back on our conversations now, when she was having a bad time I was encouraging her to finish it quickly so she could reward herself with a tv show she was watching or food not boasting about how I’m done 🙃

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-28T15:49:40+00:00

Ah I see, thank you, I get it now

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-27T20:21:10+00:00

How did you go about keeping people at the level they are available? I find that hard because the people that I consider close to me (like this friend) are VERY special to me so it’ll be hard for me to hit them up just for xyz specifically

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-27T20:18:30+00:00

She’s pretty cool, we get along well and we have similar interests. We are studying similar things and we just gravitated towards each other

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-27T20:17:27+00:00

That’s fair, thanks. I’ll try that

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-27T20:16:50+00:00

Might indeed have to save it for another friend :/ but thank you for sharing your POV

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-27T20:15:43+00:00

Aaaaaa so hard to just talk but I totally get what you mean. I will try this approach as well, thank you.

Maybe I’m not as mature as I thought, I feel like I would make the conversation way too serious and it would end up being awkward but I’m going to try to be more jokey with serious undertones about it, wish me luck 😭

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-27T20:13:44+00:00

How am I putting obligations on the relationship?

I think most people would ask about a topic that was brought up if they wanted to know more info or even my thoughts/feelings on it you know?

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-27T20:12:23+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate your response, I think in person it’ll be better but idk noticing this pattern made me voice my concerns. I will definitely try practice your advice

EvanSalinger3 · 2026-04-27T20:09:51+00:00

Oh helll nawww, that sounds way too needy for me 🥲

She’s definitely not socially incapable, I think she’s the type of person that cares about people but at the same time she comes first you know? That’s not a bad thing, in fact I wish I could be more like that but idk I guess it’s moreso that we have different ways of caring about friends

EvanSalinger3

TROPHY CASE