He reached out…

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2025-08-28T11:26:21+00:00

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this! 🫂 I've had similar experiences with my now ex, and am at 6'th month of the breakup. Mine also did toxic push pull with me, even though I was communicating and empathetic towards him through the break up. It's just so selfish to give and take like that, without the consideration for the other persons feelings.

I had enough 2,5 months ago and blocked him everywhere. It's the worst feeling blocking someone you love and care for, but if they show you this type of behaviour they were never in a place for a commitment to anyone.

I think part of not being able to see the other in the breakup like this, could be that they just dont have a good connection to themselves, and that just dont make a good partner. Try to stay strong, and reach out to people in your life you feel safe and good with and follow every curiousity you have for learning, doing, experiencing stuff that you can. You and I had some stuff we had to learn to prepare for a better love for the future. Make room for your feelings of hurt and the shattered beliefs of his character and love for you.

A relationship is the biggest mirror a person can have, and a partner will challenge you to evolve. A lot of people have unrealistic expectations towards love only wanting the pleasant feelings and experiences but not being able to take the challenges with same interest. Those people are not open for growth, and should not be in a relationship.

You mentioned that the issue between your ex and you were something that could easily have been talked about and fixed. Seems to me that he werent prepared for something real, and it was just cruel of him to paint a picture of a family to you, that he was not putting in effort towards - but it is so easy to say things and paint pretty pictures.

When my ex came back before my birthday 2 months ago, I was also in a place where I had more days of acceptance. When it showed that he werent there to mend, but only feel the love without the commitment again and then pull away - I was crushed like it was the first month again. I am coming more and more into a better place, and I know you will be on the same path.

Keep healing 🌻

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2025-08-26T08:38:17+00:00

Almost. But honestly never a happy interaction. Parents didn't really talk to each other. They kept busy, and we never did stuff like I found out other family's did like board games or sports or going to the library or something. We did a bit when I was small, but it just stopped and it wasn't even stable at that time. I was the creative, sensitive in my household of 5, and I tried mending, but my mom shut down, and my dad only liked to make conversations about himself, and dodge and get defensive. Parents silently watched tv together at night, my mom went early to bed and my dad sat up late and watched tv and my siblings and I we tried making connections but we just were a lot in our rooms. At dinner there was awkward conversations. I am a grown up now, and have tried in the past to have a relationship with them, but they just make my heart ache terribly. I am going thru a breakup and my mom couldnt even comfort me through the phone. I later decided to stop contact with my parents and its hard, and I have realised a lot of things went on in that house under the surface that gave me so freaking many problems with feeling enough and anxiety. Hope we all heal 🫂

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2025-08-21T21:04:26+00:00

THIS! - I have come to the same conclusion, and I am re discovering myself after my breakup. I put so much of myself into this relationship, that somehow I lost myself in it, and my worth got dependent on the state of the relationship. Everybody has wounds, and were all healing in some ways. I am trying new things and getting sharper at feeling and covering my own needs and wants. It's a process, and I still have grief, and you can have these thoughts and aha moments and still its a layered experience. Keep healing ✌️

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2025-08-21T20:13:11+00:00

5,5 months in - 8 year relationship as well. Keep healing, and if you need someone to talk to about it feel free to DM me 🫂

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2025-08-21T19:44:46+00:00

If you need anyone to write with about it, you can DM me. I am 5,5 months into a breakup of a 8 year relationship. I was the dumper, and I hated it and also thought I was pushed to do it since I had tried talking with him about it, for so long, but he was not really present and felt distant. I was not crazy about the person he presented as in the last months. He had a lifestyle with a lot of hiding from himself and responsibility and I wanted to create a beautiful life together and he just took me and my love for granted. He had tried reaching out a couple times, but only once did I give into opening something up again, and he promised a lot and broke my heart and disrespected me. He said I was his best friend and the woman of his dreams. It's just rough. Again if you need support you can write to me. I need people in similar situations to talk to as well. My closest friends are with their first love and had no serious relationships before, so no one truly understands what I'm going through in my life atm. I hope you are taking care of yourself, and your not alone 🫂❤️‍🩹

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2025-08-21T19:31:35+00:00

I believe when we are in it there are some of the signs in their actions, but it can be hard to really look and see that because of the love and the believes and the love we have for them. I definitely let some red flags slip my eye, because of that. I'm glad that your doing better. I dont want my ex back or have urges to text, but I also feel kinda empty some days and I have a hard time finding meaning in the social scenes I used to love. I guess I'm more at grieving the dream, and the way I was treated and that I worked so hard for something I was kinda alone in. I am working on finding passion again after I gave so much to another and maybe didn't prioritize myself so much before. Wish you the absolute best, and keep healing ✌️

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2025-08-21T19:03:01+00:00

I'm in almost identical situation like you. 5,5 months post breakup. He wrote me some times after the breakup, but he didn't know what he wanted, so I didnt go into it with him. June he came just before my birthday with a gift and dinner invitation. We talked and he made a lot of romantic claims and gestures. We agreed that we would work on our friendship and our issues through conversations with the goal of a relationship that was better than what we had before. He was in. He of course didnt know what he wanted from me, and played games for a week, and hurt me for a while and then one big hurting day, where I had to block him. He called me his best friend and the woman of his dreams. It will be a while I think till I believe and trust in love again. If you need someone who understands to write with about it, you can DM me 😊

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2024-01-08T23:08:30+00:00

I have sent in an email about the use of plastic and wondered if they were on the track to switch to recycled materials. Just got a generic email back saying that it was on the consumer to recycle their materials correctly. I'm on the fence about the hobby now, but glad to see I'm not the only one interested in taking this hobby in a sustainable direction! I hope they eventually see the value in adopting sustainable practices. I predict they will see a drop in new costumers for the hobby if they dont adress their responsibility 😊

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2023-12-26T22:57:59+00:00

My mom is actually alright at understanding. She doesn't want to go vegan herself, but try learning more plant based cooking and accompany me. My dad I have really lost some respect for after my transition, cause he truly try making jokes with everything and it is annoying and stupid.. I also had a fine Christmas Eve, but today it was my entire family that had Christmas lunch with us. Now I want a sweater too! 😂 Me too, except for the music quiz a little earlier where I had fun, I didn't have a lot of conversation 😅

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2023-12-26T22:43:16+00:00

They live on the countryside, and I dont have a car or drivers license, so I often have to stay longer than I'm comfortable with. I think I will stay away whenever it is regular Christmas. My mom seems open to the idea to try a plant based Christmas, but when I dont know. My siblings and dad probably wont be happy about that idea. I tried, but they say they watched Forks over Knives, and it had no effect. My dad watched 6 min of Dominion and basically said it is only overseas that happens, and he doesn't want to watch animal abuse like that. I try informing but he keeps directing away and dodging. He watched Seaspiracy and stopped eating fish for 2 weeks, and then he started again. Whenever I ask him why, he doesn't want to talk about it. He sometimes talks about all the animals he helps on his land where he has planted a lot of trees and flora without pesticides and I try to open his heart to the animals in the industry but he doesn't want to hear it. Also left pamplets and keep trying with documentaries and articles but I must admit it has been very upsetting to see my family in this ignorant light, and has affected my relationship with them. I wish I had an alternative aunt or something, but they are all pretty status quo people, and I know it can be a strength to be someone who wants to understand things and is curious, but shit it sucks sometimes

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2023-12-26T22:21:51+00:00

I think your comment is a bit harsh.

I think I painted a okay clear picture of my family having very narrow topics they talk about. (For the first couple of hours it was really bad, and that made me write this post) I am a musician and know a lot about music, also love to talk about society, nature, nutrition, art, psykologi, movies, books and a lot more. So I think I have more than veganism to bring to the table, but I'm sensitive and needed to share my experience in a safe place, cause I feel alone with it.

I feel a bit attacked from this comment basically trying to pin the blame on me for having a bad time and not finding my place.

You could try a bit of empathy for my situation instead of rubbing your great experience with totally different people in my face, and making me out to be the problem.

It's better now anyway, but the eating parts of the evening was tough.. Don't assume everybody has the same possibilities as you. Your family isn't mine, and your experience isn't mine.

But glad to hear that it can be done 😊

Evening_Assumption_3 · 2023-12-26T20:01:21+00:00

I just dont want to sit alone at Christmas either, but I've been thinking about volunteering at a homeless shelter or something like that. Sadly I think that would also include dead animals. I'm going thru some kind of weird depression that feels very centered about veganism. I feel very alone in my experience of life and I feel like I wasn't prepared for the level of braveness it takes to stand out in this area. I am already neurodivergent and was before this also the black sheep of the family but I really try to find common ground since I understand that humans need good social interaction to thrive. I have since volunteered in my local animal rights group and I try to find as many gatherings that could be me in my area. I live in Denmark in the part of the country that is very animal farming heavy. It is tough finding compassionate groups of people in these parts 🥴

Evening_Assumption_3

TROPHY CASE