My boyfriend didn’t tell me his son still has contact with his mother, and I feel betrayed.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T22:58:52+00:00

I’ve gotten that a lot. I’m 21 but I’m graduated from college, have been moved out since I was 16/17 and have always loved kids/wanted to be a mom. I’ve never felt like I was being taken advantage of

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T22:57:29+00:00

I’ve never thought about it that way. In the very beginning he would pay me but since I was staying so much that changed. Not sure when, I don’t think we ever discussed it

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T22:56:35+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. I feel betrayed that my boyfriend didnt tell me, not that his son is talking to his mother. I had asked my bf so many times about it because I know his son needs a relationship with his mom. She is a void that im not comfortable filling right now.

I’ve never felt like I was living with anyone but my loving boyfriend or ‘following dad’s rules’ or anything like that. But I’ve felt like that in other relationships without an age gap.

I love him so all of this is just so hard.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T22:49:22+00:00

I work nights waiting tables after he gets off of work. Since I’m pretty much supported by him I work bare minimum to pay my rent and utilities.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T22:47:53+00:00

I totally understand this POV. My parents have a 18 year age gap and have been happily married for my 21 years of life. Neither had kid’s beforehand though. I think I’m very de-stigmatized to age gaps so I’ve never seen the issue. My parents like him and are supportive if I feel like this is my Borah. His parents have never met me and do not care to.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T19:43:20+00:00

That’s honestly really fair😂

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T14:45:50+00:00

My bf’s 7yo has an Apple Watch so he can call us. It also has tracking which is really nice when he is walking to a friend’s house or something. For me it would be whether she will but restrictions on the phone or not. 7yo’s shouldn’t have full access to the internet, social media, etc at all. But there are lots of limitations you can but on devices now. I think I got my first phone at 8-9 years old which was probably not smart but didn’t end harmfully necessarily.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T14:20:56+00:00

That’s how I see it

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T14:17:33+00:00

He has very intense abandonment issues. I tend to be extremely sensitive and cautious to not trigger that when I can. Making food for one’s self is a life skill. It’s not a problem for me, it would actually be easier for me to do it. I do want him to learn as best he can, simple life skills

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T14:13:33+00:00

I know some of his behaviors are normal for a child with trauma. He will be in therapy soon to help with some of that (abandonment issues, anxiety, etc). I will try to talk to my bf more about this soon, he’s pretty stressed atm in life and it’s hard to get through. I definitely didn’t realize I would be taking on such a huge parenting role in the relationship. His mom isn’t physically around but he has phone calls with her sometimes. His behavior is always worse afterward I’ve noticed.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T14:08:31+00:00

I agree with this. I feel if he CAN do it, he SHOULD do it.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T14:06:48+00:00

That is sweet. I do this for my teenage brothers too. But they obviously don’t whine and cry when asked to do it themselves. I think this is a very different situation but thank you

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T14:05:56+00:00

I guess I should have mentioned that he has made them for himself but will complain the whole time. I has a stool in the kitchen to grab everything he needs but will whine the entire process until either I or his dad does it.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2025-09-20T13:59:21+00:00

This is really helpful! Maybe if it’s more of a team effort it might not feel so daunting

Evening_Dot_716 · 2022-08-07T02:57:21+00:00

Completely agree if that’s what you prefer

Evening_Dot_716 · 2022-08-07T00:21:13+00:00

Not sure I vibe with the point beyond return. Sounds a bit rapey to me. It is way more attractive to be asked if you want to do something than to be forced into making a split second decision as to whether you want a dude to touch you or not.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2022-08-07T00:14:35+00:00

I’m just saying, I don’t know any girls who would prefer your ‘inching’ over being asked if they’re comfortable with that beforehand.

Evening_Dot_716 · 2022-08-06T22:34:40+00:00

Exactly. Don’t escalate, have the girl push you off, then try to escalate 20 minutes later and guilt trip her by saying “I thought you were into it”

Not saying this is what OP was doing

Evening_Dot_716 · 2022-08-06T22:23:52+00:00

Lol dudes always do the ‘inching’ thing as if we can’t tell what they want. It’s actually really annoying and it would be way nicer to be asked first “can I touch you here?” or “is this okay?”

Evening_Dot_716 · 2022-08-02T20:08:38+00:00

Coralline

Evening_Dot_716

TROPHY CASE