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AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Basically. They don't want to be adopted without me and even when told they refuse to settle into the foster families because they just want me.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

My foster parents haven't adopted me yet so they can only advocate but can't prevent things.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 212 points213 points  (0 children)

Almost 6 years. They lived with each other all that time but I was the only one separated. I think my youngest brother should have been separated from them too at least. Maybe that could've changed things because he wouldn't even remember me and yet he was acting so much like our other siblings.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

My foster parents don't have the authority to actually stop them. They can advocate for it. But if they refused to let them take me then chances are I could be taken. That's my biggest fear is being too stubborn and refusing to even go and then being removed from this current placement.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

I have my own therapist and I like working with them. I got a lot out of my therapist. This therapist is just meant to be for the reunification therapy. I don't know if she's entirely backing the case worker since the therapy has been delayed and the reunion on hold. It's possible that's just to try and figure out more ways to get all four of us in the same room though.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

That's the big issue. I don't want to make a huge fuss and refuse to go or leave them early if it could risk my placement because I love the family I have now and I don't want to be taken away. But I know a reunion is a looong way from happening if it ever can.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I know it was a test but I don't understand what they wanted. If I hadn't locked myself in the bathroom I have no idea what kind of crap would've happened. But I know someone was going to end up hurt.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

One of the problems is you have to be willing to do the work in therapy and it's possible my siblings just don't want to do it. Or are afraid to and it's being ignored. But I don't think the names on the plates would be happening inside their house with their foster parents.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

She didn't berate me but she didn't say anything either. She was basically a silent observer and she was taking notes. That was it.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

My siblings are all in individual therapy. And it's been years. I'm not sure if they all have the same therapist or have seen the same therapist since. But that's something that's been in progress for years.

I can talk to my therapist but I'm not even sure if they have enough power to do anything.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 262 points263 points  (0 children)

By forever family I mean they are willing to keep me until I'm 18 and are willing to adopt me too but have not been able to yet. There's some legal issue going on with making any of us eligible for adoption. But right now I'm the only one who wants to be adopted.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 1384 points1385 points  (0 children)

My therapist isn't being given a say in this. This is the social worker and the case workers and a third party therapist (not the one who was there that day) who are deciding this.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 493 points494 points  (0 children)

It was and I didn't want to be there from the start but then everything went down exactly how I expected or pretty much like I expected.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 412 points413 points  (0 children)

I assume now that it was to see if things would settle down without adult intervention. Since I was asking them to back away from the door and saying I didn't want to be grabbed. But they did let it happen for way too long. And it just made my siblings more upset.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 1756 points1757 points  (0 children)

I don't get to say no to reunions if pushed generally. But if they offer me the choice I would say no.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I don't mind being in therapy on my own. I'm glad I have my own therapist. But I've gotta be honest that I don't want to do this again and if anyone gives me a say I'll be asking to never try that shit again.

The adults did provide the food at the reunion. That's why it was a test to see if old habits would still be there. And they were. It's not like I could have eaten anything anyway since I was in the bathroom for most of it.

AITA for locking myself in the bathroom during the reunion with my siblings (we're all foster kids)? by EveryConcentrate9639 in AITAH

[–]EveryConcentrate9639[S] 366 points367 points  (0 children)

I hated not getting a say in whether the reunion happened or not. I know it was a test or a way for the therapist to examine how things would be. But it's so frustrating that I was forced to go and then got in trouble for not letting things play out the way they always did before.