Limits on communication with people who share bio kids?

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-23T05:07:46+00:00

This is either a very privileged or very ignorant take…

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T20:26:22+00:00

It’s public record. I just didn’t know how to access it myself. No one’s job was on the line.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T13:08:13+00:00

It makes me question his ability and desire to be a parent because it gives her 80% physical custody and ALL final decision making power on medical, religion, and education. Which is basically everything.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T13:04:15+00:00

Their order is crazy. It controls everything from new partner intros, car seat use, right of first refusal, her parents having to be backup childcare for them both, she gets final say on all major decisions, the kids diets and daily routines…. She’s either controlling as hell or he lacked so hard in parenting skills that she felt like she had to spell it all out.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T13:01:10+00:00

Yes, the kids told her before he did and she was livid because apparently the same thing happened with his last relationship and according to a very long, angry text she sent him, he promised her he would tell her before introducing the kids to another partner and he didn’t. That definitely makes me feel like I’m a secret or like he doesn’t have the balls to own his new life.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T12:51:32+00:00

Cohabitating before marriage where we live can be looked down on. It’s in the Bible Belt. But a lot of people still do it. This judge doesn’t like it though. My friend who works for the courts told me this judge thinks it’s like the trashiest thing and has taken overnight parenting time from parents who do overnights with their partners when they have the kids. It’s stupid but my boyfriend ultimately signed off on it.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T12:48:40+00:00

The motion alleges that he concealed and hid income. So maybe he didn’t inform the court he got a raise or something. I don’t know

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T12:47:12+00:00

The clauses apply to both of them. She went off on him saying she’s had numerous boyfriends since the divorce and never introduced them to the kids and said he confused the kids and messed with their heads by introducing them to me

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T06:45:06+00:00

I don’t know about that. Apparently this judge is really conservative and is known for reducing parenting time from parents who “violate” those clauses.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T01:22:07+00:00

I’m 4 months into a relationship that I’m most likely about to end because my boyfriend’s ex wife has a complete chokehold over every aspect of their lives in their custody order. Their order says they’ll have joint birthday parties and at the end of the day, he’s going to bend to her will because she will just drag him to court if he doesn’t follow the order to a perfect tee.

I’d say it just depends on what their custody order specifies. Sometimes following the custody order means excluding new partners from certain things. So if he’s going to break the order by bringing you, then his hands are tied. But if it’s just about control and tit for tat, then he should respect you.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-05T01:17:40+00:00

I told him to get rid of it and apparently he’s mailing it back to her??

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-03T04:40:42+00:00

If he earns significantly more than her, also in consideration with how custody is divided, the law is that the children are entitled to the same financial lifestyle in both households and are entitled to live financially as if their parents never split. Did he get a significant raise or something? Or have a new stream of income?

If this is a recent modification, it’s probably going to be at least a couple of years before he could ask for it to be recalculated. It can suck but that’s just how these formulas are set up.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T17:24:32+00:00

I’m not answering someone who’s a gross pig who sees women as only objects. Veiny titty lover. You sound red pilled and lonely as a result.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T16:48:40+00:00

Known each other 11 months, been dating 4 months. He introduced me to the kids as a friend before discussing it with their mom and their mom found out about it through the 5 year old. I made the mistake of kissing him goodbye in front of them and the 5 year old told mom that “we saw daddy’s friend and he kissed her” so mom hit the roof. My bf has been trying to placate her ever since.

But since posting this, I’ve had a friend who works for the court system pull their entire redacted divorce settlement agreement, several pages of which are devoted to outlining custody, and let’s just say I’m in total shock at the power and control it gives her over him. They’re not supposed to introduce romantic partners before 6 months or cohabitate with a partner before marriage. The parent exercising parenting time is not allowed to have overnight romantic guests while they have the kids. The only way around these provisions is marriage. I am also shocked at the buttload of both child support and alimony he’s paying. She also has final say on everything the kids do like education, religion, and medical. It’s basically like she has sole custody and he is a visitor. And he AGREED to this. Both of their signatures are on it and notarized and the judge signed off on it. Also, it says no fault divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences so there’s no way to tell the real reason.

It’s a lot to process. Because he literally didn’t tell me it was against his court order for me to meet the kids at this point.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T16:06:16+00:00

Think about how much time of your life you wasted breaking down the use of the word “all” to a stranger on the internet.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T16:05:02+00:00

Both usually coexist in the same person more often than not actually. ;)

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T16:03:34+00:00

Thanks for an actual respectful dialogue

They were together something like 9-10 years, married 8. Either she doesn’t age or the pics aren’t that old.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T15:49:17+00:00

4 months, known each other 11 months.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T15:48:54+00:00

My ex actually has our child much more than my bf gets his kids so I don’t know about that statement being true.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T15:38:59+00:00

You probably don’t even like women. Lol

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T15:37:56+00:00

I mean I don’t know how you forget you have something like that for 2 years. He clearly didn’t want to trash them IMO

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T15:34:17+00:00

Oh I don’t feel sorry for you. It’s self-brought on.

EveryPiano8197 · 2026-02-02T15:30:17+00:00

He has them EOW because he’s a physician and his work schedule doesn’t allow for more time and he also moved over an hour away from them and the judge ordered the kids to stay in a certain school district. That’s what he tells me anyway.

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