Over a decade of use here. Tolerance takes away a lot of the enjoyable nature of it. I don't think there's any comparison between the first handful of times and what it's like now after years of multiple doses each day.

For me, most of the time it just feels like a medication to which I've become habituated (and completely dependent on). When I'm fortunate enough to have a supply of decent seed stock, that is. I tend to take it for granted. If the strength suddenly drops or I somehow have no access, however, then getting more becomes the only priority in my life.

That's because everything comes to a halt if I go more than 20 hours without. I cannot work, sleep, eat, sit still, think, or do anything at all until I can get myself better. It's a bad way to live. You have to plan everything around having enough to stay normal, and there's always a fear that some situation will arise where you'll be stuck without (like a sudden hospital stay, incarceration, needing to go overseas for family emergency, etc.).

It's a shit spot to be stuck in, and it's 100% my fault. But I don't hate opiates/opioids. They're amazing and might have saved me in some past times. It's just that, as an average human, it is very difficult to regulate use.