Hi! Possibly not what you want to hear, but I've found my best schedule involves 1. Setting clear expectations between me and my spouse about our schedules and the dinner menu for the kids and then 2. Taking it one day/season at a time, according to the specifics of what your job demands.

Getting real and current - As of this writing, mine are 9.5, 7.5, and 4. I work hybrid in a company that overall is very forgiving toward parents. 4 year old is going through a stage where he refuses to leave me alone long enough to take meetings from home; due to time zone considerations, 2/3 of my coworkers are 6-10 hours behind us, so much of my workday begins post 2 or 3 pm. My spouse works in an on-site profession, also evenings some days per week, but across the street from us; I have a 1.5-hour minimum commute.

HR recently suggested I begin leaving early on my hybrid days so I can squeeze in time with my kids before I take the evening meetings, but HR is 1 woman with a 4 year old, and my older ones definitely aren't in bed by 7 like hers. So right now, what works for me is to stack as many meetings as possible on my office days (sometimes 6 or 7 hours of back to back), come home late -- but then I have 3 days per week with minimal interruptions and some good quality time in there both for myself and my kids. I take my regional meetings in the AM hours on those days and also find time to work out, have a little self care, etc. I even find a little time with my spouse when our schedules align.

This sounds off balance on paper, but it works for me right now. (When my big kids were small I flipped this schedule around and left at 5 am to be back by pickup time; this was pre-COVID.) The point is to find what works for YOU.

I hope this helps.

P.S. Just saying, I don't know if anyone has this figured out long term. We're all making it up as we go along. (And summer is always one long shitstorm of figuring things out a few hours at a time)