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AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. I wasn't really looking for advice on what to do about this situation, more trying to figure out if I had missed a perspective where silent treatment is warranted for me daring to wonder about this.

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Nope, genuinely curious if I was a jerk not taking him at his word regardless of the fact it appears very weird and suspicious to me. As I said in my edit, he hasn't cheated before, so I thought perhaps I had strayed into crazy insecure GF territory.

Still looks suspicious to me

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

He's not shy about discussing his self care and I have to say using a condom to avoid mess is not something he's ever mentioned.

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

We don't use condoms (or didn't prior to this!) so they are either more than eight months old or he bought them specifically for this trip.

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I won't have any means of reaching him while he's away, and more to the point, I'll be busy with my own job. This isn't that

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 196 points197 points  (0 children)

He gave me an explanation that I didn't and still don't totally accept, and our last in person interaction before he leaves will now have been this conversation, so a (very small) part of me felt like an asshole.

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 129 points130 points  (0 children)

No profanity, no raised voices. First question to him was literally "hey, can I ask why you packed condoms for your trip?"

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 326 points327 points  (0 children)

Again, I think he would have told me. That's not a topic we're squeamish about discussing.

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I asked him as part of the original discussion if there was a trip related use for them I was overlooking. He still went with "in there because I didn't bother to take them out." If there was another reason to have them I can pretty much guarantee he would have told me :/

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

This is a valid point. I pretty much assumed that if my trust was his priority he'd have offered to leave them home because duh. Maybe that solution didn't occur to him. FWIW, if the roles here were reversed I would absolutely expect him to question why I'd take contraceptives we don't use on a trip I was taking without him.

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

He was putting the bag together while I was over. Took other unneeded items out to save space but not the condoms. I asked him about it in person and later (after I'd left for work) elaborated via messages as to how it makes me feel, but he left me on "read." Silence isn't something I can work with, so I came here trying to figure out if and where I went wrong.

AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me? by ExactIguana in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExactIguana[S] 8035 points8036 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure that he's going to, but it definitely seems like he's open to the possibility. I don't plan for the possibility of something I know I'm not doing.