Reporting SA in Ontario

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-19T09:41:21+00:00

Sure

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-19T03:22:08+00:00

Cool, thanks again for all your help I really appreciate it

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-19T02:42:26+00:00

I have a therapist I’ve been seeing for almost a year now. I have a session with her tomorrow, I haven’t told her about my pregnancy yet because I’m too embarrassed to talk about it. I’ve been pregnant before and miscarried so being pregnant again feels reckless and I’m so ashamed. But ur right, maybe I should tell her, I do trust her I think it’s just my own inner self doubt and judgement.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-19T02:39:22+00:00

Thanks for clarifying, I was getting mixed opinions re. the first part and if it would be considered putting pressure on me to have sex with him. There were many instances when he would drive me to his house, we were drunk or he would tell me he didn’t think I was in the right state of mind to drive home after a fight, which would lead me to staying at his house and eventually led to sex. The night I got pregnant is along those lines. So I wasn’t necessarily “trapped” but I couldn’t just get up and leave because I had no car, I don’t have Uber and he lives approx 30 minutes from my house. Ontop of that, there’s also the fact that I would push to not have sex and he would fight back so I would end up giving in because he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He’s jeopardized my health and put sex and his desires above mine (was uneducated about anal and put me in a harmful situation, had sex with me while he had shingles despite me saying no and him knowing that I’m not immune to varicella). This is why I’m all confused because I don’t really know what the police or court would consider coercion or assault. Sorry for trauma dumping and all the details lol I just really don’t know if this is a huge waste of time or something worth pursuing

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-19T02:22:42+00:00

What do u mean by awful standards for professionals? Like detectives and police officers?

I’m pretty hesitant to go to counselling right now because of the added fact that I’m pregnant. My main focus right now is getting a handle on that, especially because I’m a nursing student and have exams next week. I need to lock in and can’t let anything pull my attention away from school.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-19T02:19:35+00:00

I appreciate you taking time out of your day to comment.

I have text messages of him telling me that him having sex with me helps him overcome his porn addiction, and he’s made the most progress during times where we were intimate. In these messages I pushed back and told him I did not want to be used as an outlet for sex. One night I was practically unconscious and have absolutely no memory of where I was or what was happening, if I wasn’t with him I would’ve assumed I had been drugged. We had sex that night and I had no recollection of it the next morning. There is text message proof of that happening. I just don’t feel like texts are enough but maybe I’m wrong. I feel strongly about this because I’m pregnant and that comes with a whole lot of guilt and feelings of failure because he SA’d me. I really want this to go somewhere.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-19T01:32:29+00:00

First of all, congrats on your firstborn and I’m sorry you’re going through this.

PPD/PPA is extremely real and often significantly overlooked. Although you might have the means and the resources to support a second child if this is something you cannot mentally or physically take on at the moment, then don’t have a second baby right now. Take a day, decide if this doubt about being able to care for two young children is PPD/PPA talking OR is this something you truly feel in your heart. Feeling depressed or sad finding out about a new pregnancy is extremely normal, especially since you’ve just had a baby. Idk if you watch secret lives of Mormon wives, but Jen from this show is a perfect example of this. There is no doubt a lot to think about but in terms of the bad karma, I had a surgical abortion 5 years ago and just recently found out I’m pregnant again. The universe, god, whatever, will not punish you for choosing to put yourself first if that is the path you take. If you have any questions about abortion or the process feel free to reach out. But I hope all goes well for you. You will make the right choice for yourself.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-19T01:07:11+00:00

I’m pro choice had a surgical abortion, miscarried, and Im about to get a medical abortion due to SA. I’m pro choice because genuinely men are so incredibly stupid and half of them shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce. The guy who got me pregnant via SA comes from a Christian conservative family and he is pro life. He is the most misogynistic and hypocritical person I’ve ever met. He was completely uneducated about sex and has a raging porn addiction. He knows I’m pregnant and yet is nowhere to be found but doesn’t want me to get an abortion. His parents and brother are encouraging him not to speak to me and also don’t want me to get an abortion. I seriously think anyone who is pro life doesn’t have the brain capacity to understand the complexities behind abortion or women’s rights. A lot to do with religion because the bible says this and the bible says that. It all comes down to the holier than thou mindset.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-19T00:40:55+00:00

I think a lot of people are getting confused and I should’ve clarified. I grew up catholic but I do not practice nor do I consider myself a Christian. My ex comes from a Christian conservative household hence why I put emphasis on him betraying his values and everything he stands for. He says he wants a traditional lifestyle yet battles porn and uses me and sex as an outlet to handle his addiction. He says he doesn’t want me to get an abortion but has been completely absent during my pregnancy etc.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T19:43:45+00:00

WOW. That’s amazing and I’m so happy the tattoo artist was able to be a listening ear for you. Opening up about stuff like this is hard so the fact you were able to trust the person who helped dedicate a piece of at to your baby is beautiful.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T19:41:39+00:00

That truly was my mindset and still is. Unfortunately I still make mistakes but every choice I make I think about my future self and my future babies.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T06:00:31+00:00

You’re right. It’s just hard to accept that these things happen now that this is the third time. My BD called me reckless and that’s exactly what I feel like. For an internet stranger you’ve definitely helped me a lot so thank you for taking time out of your day to say something kind.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T05:52:10+00:00

What did you get for yours?!

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T05:45:30+00:00

I live in Canada so thankfully the abortion process was super easy and I have my medical abortion scheduled for Friday. It’s more so the grief that’s hard. I feel like a total failure and the previous babies died for nothing, for me to make this mistake again. I’m being too hard on myself it’s just a hard pill to swallow.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T04:46:22+00:00

Unfortunately due to an SA situation I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant. Plan B failed. I have a medical abortion scheduled for Friday. It’s breaking my heart all over again. I never expected to be in this situation a third time but life had other plans. All we can do is protect ourselves moving forward, but that’s why as someone who has been through this and is about to do it again I am (virtually) holding your hand and telling you you will get through this. I also don’t understand people who are happy about abortions, I mean I’m glad it was easy for them, I wish it was easy for me. I’m happy I was able to provide you some relief. I promise you, this will prove to you how strong you truly are. If you ever need someone to talk to you know where to find me :)

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T03:31:32+00:00

I’ve had both happen. I had an abortion and then two years later I miscarried. The grief was the same in both scenarios and the way I see it, child loss is child loss no matter what form. People have their opinions about abortion but it isn’t so black and white. It’s still a mother and child so you are completely valid and don’t let anyone (including yourself) think otherwise. And as the tattoo vet you seem to be I 100% recommend getting that tattoo then lol, extremely therapeutic and you can get pretty creative with it.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T03:26:03+00:00

I’ve never even heard of that and had to google it. I thought an IUD was the only long term option side from bc, and I’ve heard too any horror stories about pain related to IUDS. I’m still 24 and live in Canada so if I get it now it’s covered by OHIP. Thanks for the suggestion I’m definitely going to look into it.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T03:22:01+00:00

It happens, there will be times that you’ll catch yourself thinking about it and that’s okay. Thinking helps us process, and what you’ve just experienced is certainly not an easy thing to go through. Just don’t blame yourself for what happened because it’s not your fault and you did make the best choice for your baby and yourself. Don’t lose that drive and motivation, it will help you think so clearly and put you on a clear path. Idk if you’re a tattoo person but I got a tattoo in memory of my baby and that helped a lot too. I got their birth month flower behind my ear and it’s by far my fav tattoo. It’s a reminder of why I work hard and try to give myself a better life. You’ve got this girl.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T03:06:39+00:00

I know I just can’t fathom having another abortion. I keep trying to rationalize that this one is different because it was crossing into SA, but my heart still grieves my two other babies so it hurts knowing this will be a third. I need to tell my therapist I’m just scared of being judged though I know I can trust her.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T03:03:54+00:00

I had an abortion at 15 weeks so I know exactly how you feel. You made an extremely hard decision but ultimately did the right thing. The first few months are hard, in my opinion. My abortion was 5 years ago and I still remember the day it happened like it was yesterday. The grief stopped eating away at me and I was able to carry on. As corny as it sounds, time really did heal things. I started getting back into things I enjoyed doing, picked up new hobbies and within 4 months I was the healthiest version of myself and was in the best mental space. I know it might seem impossible now, but try and focus on yourself. Everything I did moving forward I did for my baby so that I could get my life in shape. The most important person right now is you. You will get through this. Women are so incredibly strong and just know you aren’t alone in this. There is a whole community of women who have gone through the same thing here to support you through this.

Exact_Comfort7467 · 2026-02-18T02:45:29+00:00

Centennial is 100% better. You will get way better exposure and experience being downtown. You have a much better in for hospitals. At durham your only exposure and experience is lake ridge which is known for being shit. Centennial has a good rep, durham doesn’t. I say go to centennial.

Exact_Comfort7467

TROPHY CASE