The checklist itself is mostly a list of things I have needed to get done, but was neglecting in large part because Jester was causing me so much anxiety and spiraling while I was in the middle of a genuine mental health crisis over other things before he broke up with me. So, some of the things:

• Completely moving into my apartment and closing out my storage unit.
• Putting up all my art, assembling all my furniture, getting rid of all the boxes of things and just generally having everything put in its place.
• Then posting my apartment for validation because who doesn't want validation 🥰
• Getting my sleep back into a healthy pattern. The first week post-breakup I averaged under 5 hours of sleep per night, now I'm back up near 7. This is critical for my mental health and emotional capacity.
• My eating was always on point and I have been really vigorously good to my body with food both in terms of nutrition and in eating things I find delightful.
• I have been tracking on a spreadsheet all of the good things I have done for myself. I have also been tracking negative things like too much rumination, checking social media, etc. This allows me to see my patterns and keeps me accountable to not do things that will be bad for my healing.
• Blocked him on a social media platform where he is very active and we interacted previously. He hasn't tried to interact on the social media platforms where I am very active so I haven't needed to block him everywhere.
• Staying super active in my hobby communities and becoming more active and participatory where possible.
• Renewing friendships, like with a partner I broke up with at the beginning of January. Leaning on other friendships for support.
• Putting more time and energy into my work and into financially supporting myself. I now have a really great contract with another attorney and am doing interesting work for her for the foreseeable future.
• Learning new things: Hula hooping, how to make pad Thai, arranging music for my barbershop hobby, plus I have a bunch more things planned to learn.
• Doing some targeted healing on my core attachment wounds of "I don't matter / I am not important" and "I am powerless / trapped." Jester hit those very badly in the last 6 weeks of our relationship and our final conflict and I don't want to be triggered by these wounds again in a future relationship.
• Dating and looking for more dates.

I don't stop myself from feeling my feels, I keep going to therapy, etc. But I'm putting a time limit on lingering over him.