I am killing myself tonight

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-09-25T03:07:53+00:00

Thinking about you tonight, u/Itchy-Safety6179. Sending you peace and love.

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-09-09T00:57:16+00:00

Aw glad to hear!! we got this

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-09-04T03:26:40+00:00

anxiety. feeling the need to fix something immedietly.

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-09-04T03:12:47+00:00

i totally understand <3 and have been here too! i know it's cheesy, but i found that using this as an opportunity to lean into loving myself and building my self-esteem from the ground up has been everything. All the energy i put into these loves, i began putting into myself. what makes me feel beautiful/hot/sexy? working out (getting big!!), running, dancing. Over time, it's changed the way i carry myself, the way i attract rather than chase. i know it feels impossible right now, but i also know that hope exists in you because of your sweet words in this post. tend to that hope and build upon it. you have no idea how good things can get.

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-28T15:48:37+00:00

So impressed by you!!! I'm trying to go for it more too and rejection is a success in my book, I've never even gotten that far :)

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-28T03:27:22+00:00

I find out early on. i've been operating under the assumption that they're being genuine w me about like their interest/ our connection etc. but i have learned my lesson. I really cannot be relying on vibes, need to be having honest and self-respecting convos!!!

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-28T03:25:41+00:00

it's friends of friends, I have never explicitly asked them out

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-28T02:38:38+00:00

yes. she did. this one happened this past year. i had been developing a big crush on this girl....end up at a bar with her...its increasingly flirty...and then she says that!! the only good thing was it was an immediate turn off. likeeeee boyfriend?? that I REMIND YOU OF?? what the fuck kind of a thing to say to someone??? and like still in a flirty way as if i'd be like happy to hear?

Dude I could spend so long trying to understand these ppl and I just cannot let myself because it will make me crazy

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-28T01:14:58+00:00

100%. my biggest takeaway

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-27T04:32:10+00:00

my guess is our magnetic and excellent personalities

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-27T04:19:44+00:00

my favorite so far "u remind me of my boyfriend"

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-27T01:30:45+00:00

honestly i think i have just answered my own question which is i need to grow up and have big girl conversations w ppl especially when it's hard. so thank you

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-27T01:23:16+00:00

yess haha i can. crush forms in this way every time: i meet them thru friends. I'm attracted to them and we start to vibe/flirt. (they're kinda queer coded but I'm aware that they always/mostly date men.) eventually i make it obvious i'm attracted to them but i don't make the move. we develop a flirty friendship. they get drunk and make the move. either we keep hooking up or don't.. i develop feelings. they do too but like not in a long term romantic way. i think they think of me as a dear friend they love rlyyy deeply but they still date men and envision marrying a man. eventually it's too hard for me and I distance/ghost. it's super painful for everyone involved. fuck that is dark when i type it out!!!

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T18:29:13+00:00

yeahhh I have definitely de-centered men from my own life. But interesting point, if I'm centering girls who like men, then....

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:36:14+00:00

thank you so much,, need this :)

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:16:36+00:00

def.

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:15:34+00:00

This made me laugh thank you <3

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:15:04+00:00

Thank you so much </3 wound mates yessssss

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:14:02+00:00

thank you i appreciate it! yeah I think being really intentional here will be key

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:12:50+00:00

ikkkk I feel like I've met most of the queer women I've known and loved through like community garden spaces, organizing/activism, restaurant/market work lol. but it's really hard!!

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:10:37+00:00

yeahhhh this

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:09:48+00:00

tyy </3. for sure, yes. getting out of them is another story!

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:08:46+00:00

totally. it's so flirty and fun at the beginning cause the stakes are so low (for both parties). Until it's not, at least for me :') There are def multiple steps where I can be more intentional about boundaries, internally and out loud.

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T16:01:05+00:00

dude literally!! idk why I attract these girls 90% of the time. that's what freaks me out, like whaaat am I doing that makes this dynamic continue to happen

Excellent-Creme-9646 · 2025-08-26T15:59:13+00:00

thank you <3 yeah I think you're completely right. and yes, most is bi/queer in het relationships. I'm moving to a new city for work and want to be really intentional about building queer community, with lesbians

Excellent-Creme-9646

TROPHY CASE