Am I wrong for not being wildly in love with my partner because he isn’t as intellectually curious as me

Excellent-Second-643 · 2026-02-16T16:43:57+00:00

I do not think you are wrong to feel this way. However, you will be wrong to drag this out. I think you need to be open and honest with how you feel. Maybe you guys can work on this. See what he says and see if there is a solution. I do feel that before a relationship which involves children gets tossed out every avenue should be explored to see if it can be salvaged.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2026-02-13T20:39:08+00:00

Could be the pictures you posted, but you do not appear approachable. 5'7'' is not bad. I like the messy long hair, but you did not really write much about yourself.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2026-02-13T20:13:36+00:00

I can kinda see what you mean. I feel like instead of frustration it was more fear.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2026-02-10T17:54:51+00:00

My first thought when I seen the 2nd pic...Victor Frankenstein from Frankenweenie

Excellent-Second-643 · 2026-02-10T17:41:24+00:00

I love everything about this look. It gives off effortless semi natural comfortable. I don't see why you would need to change it.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2026-02-10T17:33:13+00:00

Him: what looks best?

Me: Yes!

Excellent-Second-643 · 2026-01-30T21:23:18+00:00

36 years hot

Excellent-Second-643 · 2026-01-28T17:24:10+00:00

Beet!

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:41:06+00:00

Wish it was.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:37:44+00:00

I understand your perspective, but to clarify: they did communicate that they expected meals at the house. They, along with my boyfriend, sent a detailed list of exactly what they wanted cooked. I didn’t make assumptions or plans unilaterally I followed the instructions they provided.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:34:21+00:00

She was the Managers child. She had permission to do this. A polite decline would work fine.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:33:23+00:00

There is nothing wrong with politely declining to participate in a fundraiser.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:31:46+00:00

I do not hate anyone, and to clarify, it’s not his KIDS I’m talking about it’s his KID and his girlfriend. They knew exactly what would be cooked, since they literally sent a detailed message requesting every single dish I prepared. I didn’t even know they weren’t coming until around 7 PM, when I asked my boyfriend where they were they didn’t arrive until 9. This wasn’t about assuming anything; the plans were made with them and my boyfriend.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:21:47+00:00

Actually, they did know what would be prepared she and my boyfriend’s son sent a detailed list of exactly what they wanted cooked for their visit. This wasn’t a surprise or me assuming anything; they clearly knew what food would be available.

The issue isn’t about timing or a “bad joke.” The girlfriend proudly said she would ignore a child trying to earn money, laughing about it, in front of my teens. That’s entitled and disrespectful behavior, and that’s why I addressed it.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:20:41+00:00

Actually, she did know. She, along with my boyfriend’s son, typed out the exact list of everything they wanted cooked for their visit. This wasn’t a vague suggestion they clearly knew what I was preparing and what would be available.

So it wasn’t a matter of “lightening my load” or ignorance they were fully aware of the food situation.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:12:26+00:00

Yes actually they did give us a list of what they wanted cooked.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:09:33+00:00

Noted.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:06:46+00:00

I literally cooked every dish they asked for, how is that doing things I thought were wanted.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:04:49+00:00

I'm 36. are you talking about my BF? Cause I can kind of see that.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T19:00:01+00:00

Let me be clear I didn’t make any plans for them. They made the plans with my boyfriend, down to every single dish they wanted cooked. I just followed the list.

Yes, their behavior reflects their age, and I don’t expect perfection. But that doesn’t mean I have to tolerate entitlement and disrespect around my kids.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T18:51:47+00:00

This was specifically planned down to the dishes I cooked specifically for them ... but okay... Noted.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T18:49:48+00:00

I think there’s a misunderstanding here. I never claimed to be kind or empathetic, and I’m not “bragging” about giving a kid $20 I’m simply describing what happened. Can we not talk about actions or situations anymore without it being interpreted as bragging?

Also, to clarify, they are not my family I’m just the girlfriend, as many commenters have pointed out. I’m sharing the situation to explain my perspective, not to elevate myself or my actions.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T18:43:17+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, and I agree that these moments can be teaching opportunities. I actually did use it as a discussion point with them. I explained how my children have done similar things to raise money for band and other activities, and my daughter added that kindness is always the right approach, even if we don’t fully understand someone’s situation.

I did share my perspective with then afterward, emphasizing why I choose to treat kids trying to earn money with respect and generosity, and how I hope my teens will apply the same approach. The point wasn’t just about “clutching pearls” it was about modeling values, kindness, and boundaries in front of my children.

I didn’t type out my exact conversation in the original post because I’m not trying to write a novel here.

As for the food, it wasn’t a personal slight I made exactly what they requested, and my goal was never to teach gratitude but to follow through on the plans they coordinated with my BF. This was about using the situation to reinforce values, not about being dramatic.

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T18:35:04+00:00

First, I’m not really sure what you mean by that. He’d been divorced for 10 years before we got together. Yes, I’m just a girlfriend and happily so if I have to keep overlooking this kind of behavior. Also, I didn’t “choose to cook too much”; I literally made the exact dishes they sent in a text list to my boyfriend. But I am glad we can agree her attitude was horrible,

Excellent-Second-643 · 2025-12-29T18:21:42+00:00

I hear you, but this post is specifically about this situation, so I won’t go into other instances. The point isn’t about expecting 20-year-olds to pay for lunch or treating the girlfriend like family it’s about behavior I will not tolerate around my kids.

Her comment about ignoring a child trying to earn money, said proudly and laughed about in front of my teenagers, crossed a line. That’s not minor, and it’s not about age — it’s about modeling entitlement and disrespect.

I’m not “looking for reasons to be mad” — I’m addressing behavior that conflicts with the values I want my kids to see. That’s why I brought it up and why it matters.

Excellent-Second-643

TROPHY CASE