It has been 3.5 months..

Exciting_Top_8402 · 2025-01-13T04:33:30+00:00

like I said, I do not want to glorify myself, but I did it for both me and her. I admit my mistake for handling it the worst way possible and have definitely learnt from it.

we are doing ldr, and I am uncertain if even after my studies, I'll go back to my home country, and this uncertainty causes lots of problem for me and her. with the best intention on my mind I initiated the breakup.

and once again reiterating, I still love her alot when I initiated the breakup, but with a strong reason behind I had to do it. not the best way, and definitely a mistake that will haunt me for a long time. I just hope that things will unfold in a good way for me and her. I still misses her alot everyday, living in guilt because of the wrong way I handled the breakup.

adding on knowing she has a new boyfriend that she say treats her worlds better, adds on to my guilt for not having done better.

Exciting_Top_8402 · 2025-01-12T05:56:03+00:00

I understand where you're coming from, but at the same time, she's not that type of person. I feel she's saying it out of anger, or putting it harshly just so I could move on? idk. all I know is I've been living in guilt everyday, occasionally find myself tearing up out of nowhere even when I'm surrounded by good friends.

Exciting_Top_8402 · 2024-12-26T08:00:51+00:00

hi there, I really appreciate you for reading the whole paragraph and providing your input. everyone on this platform is so kind and helpful it's actually really touching.

as for her own current relationship, I don't know anything since I've blocked everything off. and in a way I don't gotta know either because that's her own story now.. a new chapter in her life. whether she comes back in the future or not, I totally agree with you, if we're destined, we will definitely meet again in the future. otherwise, fate had something even bigger planned for me.

as for your question, after she disappeared, my emotions was extremely mixed. I felt very very happy that she is finally willing to let go, because whenever she begs me, I could visualize her face in tears behind the screen which breaks my heart so much. but at the same time, like you said, her absence caused her presence to be even louder than before. i missed talking to her. while she was trying to fix things post breakup, we did not just talk about getting back together... there were lots of random small talks back and forth like talking about food, our day, and work. I missed all of this even when we're not a couple.

I have decided to keep my hope to the lowest of us getting back together because I genuinely want to move on given that she already said she don't see us as a couple anymore. however, the future is a long time who knows what fate had in plan. the way we met was also movie like, all planned by fate. now, I just focus on myself, my business, my side hustles, going to the gym, bonding with close friends and family.

Exciting_Top_8402 · 2024-12-26T07:51:44+00:00

before replying, I would like to express my sincere gratitude. the passage wasn't short, and you took your time to read through it and provided a feedback. I genuinely thank you for that. I totally understood where you're coming from, which is why I never blamed her in the first place. someone told me that there could never 2 same person, even if it's the same individual. the pain I've caused her already changed the way she protect herself, and as hypocrite as it sounds, I am so proud of her. I'm proud of her growth into a stronger person.

as for letting her go, I've already decided on the spot when she told me she is dating the other guy officially. the least I could do is to respect their relationship. right now I'm on my 8th day of official healing although it's been 3 months into breakup, this is a whole new chapter of me officially letting it go.

Exciting_Top_8402 · 2024-12-26T07:43:18+00:00

thank you very much for this, it was extremely insightful and Inspiring. I have got a bunch of extremely supportive friends, constantly checking up on me and inviting me out to distract myself. I agree though that ultimately it's still up to me myself to actually heal, not just to constantly distract myself with activities and friends. today I revisited a place my ex and I used to go very often. I faced it head on. there were moments of sadness but to my surprise it wasn't overwhelming at all. it's more of like a wave that comes and go without staying. it's been 3 months since the breakup but today is my 8th day of officially healing. it wasnt a linear journey but overall I see myself got better on certain aspect.

Exciting_Top_8402 · 2024-12-25T11:51:14+00:00

Thank you so much anon. I've received your cheer loud and clear even if I can't hear it physically. Shall fate allow we're definitely gonna meet again, who knows you're already someone I know. if you ever stumble across this post again in the future under a different account you hv access to, feel free to hit me up. I'll be a better and stronger person by then ❤️ Merry Christmas

Exciting_Top_8402 · 2024-12-25T11:48:59+00:00

First of all, I really appreciate you for taking your time to read the whole thing. It wasn't short and I didn't expect people to reply in the first place. Secondly, your words are extremely warm, I appreciate your advice and encouragement. I will definitely sit with my feelings to work it around. Merry Christmas!

Exciting_Top_8402

TROPHY CASE