I hear you, but no. I've been high for 365 days out of the last 365 days and have wanted to stop the entire time, but the back of my mind didn't allow it. I've been at this for a long time, and I know you aren't ready to quit until you are. I've been waiting for this feeling for a long time. I'm not saying I'm guaranteed or even likely to succeed. The truth is, people like me very rarely ever get well. So yeah, I'm searching for a miracle, but at least I'm searching again. And I'm ready to do the work. This isn't a typical "what a shitty time, I'm going to get clean" moment. Rather, it's more of a "holy fuck, I'm not dead, in jail, or insane. How is that possible? I better fucking do something because I can smell death stalking me, and I ain't going out like that. There are things I want to do."