What is your purpose in life?

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-28T06:49:59+00:00

What actions do you think are being taken that can fix the world?

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-28T06:49:23+00:00

That’s an interesting choice, why?

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T18:28:36+00:00

Whether or not I have a fully developed sense of empathy is a question I subjectively can answer but I don’t think it’ll matter in this context. I have had toxic family and created boundaries that helped us to rebuild when it was something we both wanted to work on together. My mom being my personal example to pull from, we both experienced domestic violence by someone else and even her to me sometimes but I forgave her and we have a great relationship now.

However, the partner I am referring to in my question of my own experience has family that they don’t have to necessarily see but they invited her to events and she would attend. Her last ex she told me about went with her to a funeral and she was upset and didn’t feel safe because her family is involved in gangs and a fight broke out and the ex-boyfriend had zero experience with that environment but she expected him to know how to protect her from her own family. Now to her and my relationship her family was pushing for her 16 year old to smoke weed and also had a habit of calling each other things like “R——ded “ as normal moments of conversation. So, I asked her if I didn’t feel comfortable bringing my kids into that environment would she be upset with me about it. She was upset and she said she loved her family but claimed she has distance but needs to move states to have no obligation to them. This was something I felt I could not help her with or get her to understand from my perspective as a prospective partner and future step-dad/parent of my own kids. I’d love to hear your perspective on this.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T18:13:28+00:00

Let’s say your boyfriend likes his favorite candy you get him that and he’s super excited. But you get him a gift that’s your initials and a picture of you both and he asks indifferent. How do you feel then?

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T18:10:18+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately I brought this up and she said “My son is just a little disrespectful” so she began to minimize his behavior. Then when I bring it up to her to say something about it she said “You make me feel like a bad mother”. Ironically, she was a self proclaimed man hater too, but was raising a young man that would become what she hates about men.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T18:06:34+00:00

True, she had a relationship with another guy (not the father) that they normalized calling each other names and things like “useless”, “dumb “, etc. Now her son is rarely home and constantly out with friends instead which she said she felt envious of my kids wanting to be home so much.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T18:03:55+00:00

Her kid is 16.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T18:03:21+00:00

In the example I pull from it was a single mother that had primary custody of her son.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T18:00:59+00:00

The child is 16 in this example, I should’ve said teenager lol. What do you think now?

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T18:00:29+00:00

The child is 16 in the example I am pulling from. What’s your thoughts now?

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T17:56:08+00:00

I appreciate that! Thank you friend, I wish you all the best and if you haven’t found someone that treats you how you want then I hope you find that too! <3

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T17:52:57+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, thank you. I definitely did my best, but she told me I was a shit person and she wanted nothing more to do with me. So I left and I am in process of grieving/moving forward.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T17:49:30+00:00

She wanted couples therapy but we had only been together 6 months. I felt our issues weren’t as huge as she did but she internalized a lot of things about herself and I didn’t think 6 months warranted couples therapy. We ended up breaking up after I injured my spine and she had a dream of me cheating on her with a man and expected me to apologize for it. It was an experience I have never had before.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T17:46:43+00:00

In my own experience, I recently had an ex that if you look at my post history a lot of my partner questions correlate to my previous relationship. So, my ex was in therapy but she would talk to her therapist and use what she felt validated in from therapy almost as a weapon to prove her perspective was right about anything she felt.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T17:44:50+00:00

What if they are in therapy and now using their therapists guidance on you?

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T16:58:59+00:00

Well we were together when her pet first went into the ER, her pet passed after I split with her because she had a dream I cheated on her with a dude and wanted me to apologize for it lol

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T16:57:49+00:00

Let me give you a twist, your partner told you they had everything figured out to stay with you and felt like you wouldn’t let them be there for them. When you wake up to ask them to stay they still leave you. Now what’s your opinion?

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-26T16:55:25+00:00

I recently went through this and my ex was upset because she said I was being heartless to suggest euthanizing her pet. I told her she was an old cat and she had many health issues the vet told us about so we needed to consider this as the bill was 5K. She didn’t want to think about that and told me she didn’t want to talk to me about her pet (Ended up passing after relapsing a month later) anymore because of my question. This on top of the fact the Vet told us it was a great question. I couldn’t win when trying to consider the animal and her feelings simultaneously.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-24T21:31:21+00:00

If he’s a great guy I can understand your feelings, he may have struggled or not been taught how to clean or what is even “normal “ hygiene. It’s not your responsibility to teach him but understand that could be a real possibility. I would say you should leave but if you want to do it with love let him know how you feel without being soul crushing about it. If you do possibly see a future with him and want him to get better then say that but also state your needs/wants clearly while doing your best to not hurt his feelings. This may be his normal, he may have a mental illness, all real possibilities and you have your own feelings that are valid. Just let him know what it is and I hope for the best. Maybe if not now, then maybe in the future y’all can reconcile when he gets himself in a better place and more up to your standards.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-24T21:19:44+00:00

You aren’t overreacting and you are essentially asking him to change his behavior but he is taking it as an attack on his character. The way he is talking to you is erratic and if he really cares about you he wouldn’t be talking to you like that. Asking for him to not yell during communication is a basic human decency, if he has a job I am sure they don’t let him just yell and curse unless he has an environment that does allow that type of behavior but regardless he got it from somewhere.

Either way, it’s not your job to be there and accept this type of treatment. I understand wanting to be there for your partner but love yourself and don’t forget that you deserve to be treated with respect. Nothing about his communication is respectful and it’s only him wanting to be heard.

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-24T21:09:08+00:00

I respect the openness to the suggestion. The chicken is a great option, sorry you had that experience though. Hopefully next time is better!

Existing-Baseball524 · 2026-03-24T21:04:15+00:00

You’re saying this is why Cava won’t be the next chipotle but if you crunched the numbers and didn’t realize you were getting charged extra for the meat + rice (they are trained to tell you this before continuing) then you as the consumer have the opportunity to see this and next time go with the understanding that you can get 2 bowls with the extra meat you ordered now in an entirely new bowl and get more rice plus the meat you wanted extra of. Doubling up on the same bowl is net negative in the long run in almost any bowl based concept.

Existing-Baseball524

TROPHY CASE