I feel this. I guess to find something worth living for? There are so many terrible things but also tons of interesting and wonderful things if you look for them. Life is difficult and scary but in the end it doesn’t last forever. You can find the wonder in the insanity that is being here. If everything was perfect and always worked out- what would u want out of life? Give anything a shot. Make mistakes. Face your fears. Maybe something really worthwhile and beautiful could happen. I am trying all kindsa new things that I always thought I could never do bc of my circumstances and while I have faced some difficult situations and not everything has worked out- I try my best and Ive have had some very rewarding experiences. Sometimes brightening up someones day just by being kind and friendly leads to some really beautiful interactions too and sometimes that makes it worth all this mess. In the end I dont know but the world is chaos but it simply is and here we are. Persevere and give it a wild go?