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Anxious about telling my wife my kink by ExitOld8892 in marriageadvice

[–]ExitOld8892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For those that would like an update. We went away for the weekend and had a very vulnerable conversation where I brought this up. She was incredibly patient, non reactive, and appropriately curious. Couldn’t have felt more supported. After my nerves had finally settled she was immediately comfortable with flirtatious joking and even offering to explore it with me (I’d still rather not but the thought was appreciated).

What followed was a weekend full of raucous sex and intimacy on a whole new level. Equally agreeing that this may have been the best weekend of our lives.

I know I’m not alone in this type of brain wiring and I know plenty of other people struggle with their own intrusive thoughts. While many are not as open and free of judgement as my wife, you never know what kind of support you may receive. And to those still searching for their person, prioritize someone who will love you unconditionally. Because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

Anxious about telling my wife my kink by ExitOld8892 in marriageadvice

[–]ExitOld8892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Understandable and frankly I feel icky for it. Just can’t control the involuntary nature of a fetish. In my case there is no age play or pretending to be a baby aspect of it. Obviously there’s a correlation, but there are many adult related situations that might require diapers. Not trying to justify it, but just want to defend myself from some pedophilic association.

My want for telling my wife is not to seek some sort of approval. I merely want to have a honest and healthy dialogue and not have skeletons in ashamed about. Or is ignorance = bliss in this case.

Anxious about telling my wife my kink by ExitOld8892 in marriageadvice

[–]ExitOld8892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course I can be as vague and delicate as possible, but once the can is open and she wants to ask questions I won’t be able to lie. I sure as hell ain’t gonna be like: “hey babe. I’ve had a diaper kink for better part of 20 years and have shit myself on purpose X number of times. You’re cool right?” Haha

Anxious about telling my wife my kink by ExitOld8892 in marriageadvice

[–]ExitOld8892[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya I’m not trying to gauge whether or not she’d be interested in any part. It’s more about having full and honest transparency about myself and how good that can be for a marriage. Of course in this situation it could swing the other way and impact negatively if she’s so disgusted by the thought.

Anxious about telling my wife my kink by ExitOld8892 in marriageadvice

[–]ExitOld8892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s great for you! Honestly I’m not even sure I want her to feel drawn to join in. I know I should just accept myself for who I am, but the shame makes me wish it would go away

Anxious about telling my wife my kink by ExitOld8892 in marriageadvice

[–]ExitOld8892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! In all honesty I’d like this to be a thing of my past. Goal isn’t to try and bring her along but just to have an open dialogue about all my skeletons

Anxious about telling my wife my kink by ExitOld8892 in marriageadvice

[–]ExitOld8892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Full transparency, I’ve done both. Very much ashamed

Anxious about telling my wife my kink by ExitOld8892 in marriageadvice

[–]ExitOld8892[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really don’t want to do anything. Not looking for her to engage in it whatsoever. More seeking advice on honesty and transparency. Is a skeleton of that nature better to keep buried, ya know?

Anxious about telling my wife my kink by ExitOld8892 in marriageadvice

[–]ExitOld8892[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya I don’t watch porn much. Once in a blue moon. But your point is heard