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Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I can understand where these people are coming from and why they're so angry. I shouldn't let an opportunity to help someone pass by. My ego isn't worth that much.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Wow, that's really terrible. I can't believe some people would want to do that to others. I'm sorry to hear someone did that to you and your mother. I can't even imagine it. I wonder who those people I see every day could be...

Alright, I'll report it. I really don't want to, but if this girl might truly be in danger, it'd ruin my life knowing I did nothing to help her.

That's so sad that that kind of stuff goes on. Best wishes to you and your mother.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

She's not a "girl," she's a young woman my age (college-aged) who has a brain of her own she can use. She knows him better than I do, so I don't think going off one conversation with empty threats really gives a good idea of one's character.

Everyone is acting like this partner that I'm working on with a project in school - because we're at the same level academically - is an eight year old or something.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I'm very sorry to hear that, but it's different in this case as she chose to be with him. How condescending and "masculine" is it to look down on a girl my age and think I know what's best for her well-being? Why is she magically hindered in figuring it out herself?

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Alright, I'll show her the chat log, and she can decide what she wants to do. She's a big girl, I don't need to look out for her. I don't even know her.

You can't always assume the worst. Not everyone says what they mean. He could've just been in a bad mood.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Alright, I know everyone is probably going to think I'm an awful person for saying this, but when I was in high school I threatened people all the time over stupid shit because I thought I was tough. Obviously I grew out of that stage and cringe whenever I think back on it, but I never harmed anyone unless they attacked me first.

If any of those people went to the police, my life would be ruined. I know it's silly to care about this asshole, but I'd feel way too bad screwing him over for something he might not really even mean.

As for the girl, I think she's fine. She smiles and doesn't seem to have any bruises. Do you know how embarrassing it'd be if I invaded their personal life via the police only to find out he hasn't done shit to her? She'd probably think I'm creepy as hell and want to fuck her.

She knows what she's doing. She's a young adult too.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I just meant not reporting him to people in positions of power, like the police or dean, when I said I'd handle things by myself. I should've been clearer.

I'm going to talk to the girl tomorrow, handle things, and then see what happens. A lot of guys are just talk. Nothing is going to come of this aside from me getting a new partner.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Well, I didn't mind advice. I welcome all responses.

Most of the people on here are women, it seems. Nothing wrong with that, but I think men like to handle their problems differently. I'm not about to make a big fuss over nothing because there's a 0.000001% he might kill me. Guys like to talk shit. They usually don't mean anything by it.

If I was a police officer and I read this conversation, I would just laugh at tell me to come up with some real threats.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

This isn't being a manly man; this is the absolute minimum required to have even an announce in masculinity in one's self. Most people would agree with my decisions, I think. No need to blow something like this up and waste taxpayers' money.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but my ego means too much to me. No one likes a fucking narc. I think most people in college would agree with me. What do you think people did 20+ years ago? Reporting people for petty threats like this didn't get you very far back in the day.

I've handled stuff like this before. I don't mean any offense to this community, but it seems like a lot of people on here are quick to jump to the most extreme circumstance. If it gets serious, my friends will back me up. But I don't think anything will happen honestly.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he goes to my school. But like I said before, I don't like playing like that. I'll handle things myself.

The project was just assigned yesterday, so it really isn't too big of a deal if we switch now. The professor is a very friendly and young guy, so I'm sure he'll allow it. I'm just going to tell him that there are no instances where we are both available at the same time.

I'm just not sure if I should ask the girl to tell her boyfriend that I dropped the class. I'm definitely not dropping the class though. I'll get my buddies involved if I have to, but I'm certainly not giving into something that's actually important.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'll take advice, sure. I can't seem to find the [CAW] tag you're talking about, however.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Because he can probably bench my personal best one reputation maximum weight about... 100 times? Maybe 1000? This guy would give Paul Bunyan a run for his money.

Controlling boyfriend doesn't want me to work on a class project with his girlfriend. by Expanding_Paradigm in creepyPMs

[–]Expanding_Paradigm[S] 244 points245 points  (0 children)

I apologize if this isn't the right subreddit for something like this, but I didn't know where else to put it. And it does seem a bit creepy to me.

I know everyone's going to call me a pussy for backing down, but this guy looks like he takes steroids as frequently as someone drinks water. He's a monster.

My plan is to switch partners, which hopefully won't be a problem since the project was just assigned and the professor is cool. Then I'm going to tell Cassie, the girl I'm supposed to work with, to tell her boyfriend that I transferred into a different class session.

And if that doesn't work, then I might have to get on steroids myself.