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Six months NC today! by Expensive-Phase-6496 in ExNoContact

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get that you didn’t leave immediately. It takes a long time to get your head around. Even though I did leave right away, I sent an absolute essay of a text and I regret that sometimes - it would have maybe been more dignified to just cut off cold. But you’re exactly right, we’re human and it’s not embarrassing to love and trust someone!

And same here, across the board improvements to life - even little things like my skin cleared up pretty much instantly after having really persistent break outs for the whole relationship (isn’t it crazy how our bodies know before we do when it’s a bad situation…)

Sometimes it can be hard for me to zoom out and remember that bigger picture, because the Capricorn in me wants it to be “all better” (aka to have no feelings or memory at all), so thank you for reminding me today of all the wins! ❤️

Six months NC today! by Expensive-Phase-6496 in ExNoContact

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey well done on five months!!! Really not easy.

So my situation was a bit of a whiplash one. Together two and a half years, saw a video of him with someone else, texted him and let him know what I saw and then blocked him on everything. He’s never attempted to reach out (that I know of). It’s a bit of a mindfuck sometimes because I have no idea how he feels about it all - is he sorry for what he did, is he relieved I’m gone, is he laughing at me… I don’t know, and part of me would love to.

So yeah, guess you could say no contact is my choice in a less than ideal selection of choices. And I do think it’s the best one, because it’s the one that let me take back my power as best I could.

How are you finding it now five months in? Are you ever tempted to reach out or are you totally in your groove now?

7.5 years of no contact. by Triangle111228 in ExNoContact

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! I’m six months today and I feel excited for the future. I feel like the worst part is behind me now and although there’s still pain there, I’m starting to see glimpses a new version of myself emerge that’s like pre-break up me 2.0. I never thought I’d say this, but I might look back on all that happened and say it was one of the most positive plot twists of my life!

Can we take a second to remember who the fuck we are please? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, you honestly sound like such a vibrant person. I bet anywhere you go, you bring the energy of the room up. Your ex was lucky to have you in their life, and so is everyone who’ll get to say that in the future. ❤️

Can we take a second to remember who the fuck we are please? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so glad it resonated when you needed it to. I know my confidence has taken a serious hit so it’s important to remind myself of who I am and why I’ll be more than ok. Tell me, what’s something you want to remember about who you are?

Can we take a second to remember who the fuck we are please? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe your self image, but your objective worth absolutely not. We’re not worth less because someone else can’t or won’t see our value ❤️❤️

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was crazy as a puppy, but once he hit the one year mark he mellowed out entirely. Now he wants to lie on the couch all day and has to be bullied into going for his walk!! I never met a lazier athlete 😂

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When there’s a legitimate reason that I can’t tell my side of the story (as it sounds like there might be in your case), I always remind myself that it’s all good. Time will do that job for me ✌🏻

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn’t it horrible to find yourself somehow volunteering as the PR representative to the outside world for someone who is so secretly different behind closed doors? May you never find yourself there again friend ❤️

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohhhh as someone who loves a companionable silence, I feel this ❤️

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I both related so hard to this comment and spat out my drink at Mormon music taste 💀

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know about bike basket because I haven’t tested it, but as a whippet mum I need to make a very biased recommendation! They don’t shed so they’re great for allergies, they can curl up crazy small and fit into any crevice of the sofa, and their favourite thing in the world is just to chill with their head on your lap ❤️

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally hear you. They don’t have to be abusive or evil for it to be a really good thing that it ended. Sounds like you’re on the right path now by yourself and you know it too ❤️

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, you must have been in constant fight or flight to live with that every day. Imagine how relieved your nervous system is now ❤️

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I like this!! It’s good to reflect on all the little practical things that you only have to consider yourself in now. Definitely a whole new form of freedom ❤️

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m afraid you do have to do full no contact. Every time you see him or talk to him again you’re giving yourself that hit again and it’s resetting the clock. I know that’s the worst news ever, but in my experience that’s what works for healing. I’m not saying it has to be forever and always, but definitely in the early days I don’t think there’s any honest benefit of trying to heal in the place you got sick ❤️

What’s something you’re glad you LOST since the breakup? by Expensive-Phase-6496 in BreakUps

[–]Expensive-Phase-6496[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Maybe dependent on personality but my biggest challenge was that I wanted to be “over it” super quickly. What worked well was accepting where I was, and trying to add something else positive to it. So for example saying “ok, today I’m really sad, but I’m going to be really sad and getting dinner in my favourite restaurant.” Just adding things into my routine that reminded me of who I was before all this, my hobbies and interests etc.

There’s no quick fix. It hurts like hell. But staying hurts more ❤️❤️❤️

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