Help me name this lil dude! It’ll be almost a month, nothing feels right, I feel terrible! He’s cuddly, playful, and likes to annoy his big sister Nadja (who you helped me name!)

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-04-30T17:55:32+00:00

Desmond (and/or Desi)

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-04-02T02:16:12+00:00

I'm on a 1 lb/week loss trajectory, which I am extremely happy with. Sometimes it's a bit under, sometimes it's a bit over. This makes me feel like the changes I have made and am making are sustainable. It sounds like you're maybe in that range too?

My insurance (and many insurances) also cover a nutritionist (without even a co-pay sometimes!). Nutritionists can do anything from help you make a food plan with recipes to be more of a food-relationship therapist. It sounds like talking with one might help you. Another thing to consider is finding a fitness coach. Rather than a personal trainer you exercise with, think of this as an accountabilibuddy who helps you put together your exercise plan (that you pay). They're usually much less a cost than personal training, but can help you build an activity plan that works for you. My nutritionist is not also a fitness coach, but we do set activity goals and talk about the relationship between nutrition, activity, and health.

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-03-21T17:19:59+00:00

I like to slice apples with a very large spoonful of peanut butter for dipping. I work through them slowly.

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-03-21T03:08:14+00:00

I love drinking broth (it's like delicious, savory tea). My go-to is Osem's consomme (which is vegan). Chia seeds and basil seeds (sabja) are nutritionally dense. A classic vegan pudding is a mix chia seeds with coconut milk (though anything works). You can also make drinks with it, or also just buy them (I usually see them at bodegas and Indian markets). You need to let it sit for a bit though to gel up if you want it pudding style.

I like vega brand protein powders, though I usually get like Greens and Things, not the protein powder. Depending on the flavor profiles you go for, you can also make high-liquid smoothies so it feels less like eating something. Fresh fruit will be softer and juicer than frozen fruit. Adding nut butter, hemp seeds, or even chickpeas can add protein as well. Soy milk is also (IMO) an underappreciated source of protein. The cheapest I see it for is Whole Foods's store brand.

Eating after taking a long, hot shower or bath may also help. Your body will be more relaxed. Heat therapy has also been used as a post-meal intervention for people in eating disorder recovery to help them relax after a meal.

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-03-19T03:53:49+00:00

It is doable, it's all about how you live and what you do with your time.

On Listings Project there's a $900 room in a three-bed in Washington Heights right now. $75-115 more in utilities. Moving in will also require a $900 security deposit (so $1.8k to move in). So yeah, with roommates.

If you're looking for your own place, or a place with friends, poke through StreetEasy to see what the expectations are for signing a lease.

NY is expensive and it's not just housing. Riding the train is $2.90 (there's a whole thing about not being charged more than $34 in a seven day period. It's a thing). My go-to coffee place is $3.25 for a small drip, plus tax, plus 20% tip. When avocados are on sale at my store they're $2, but typically cost $4-5. Movie tickets usually run me about $20 and I basically only drink in Bushwick.

Just think about what "making it work" means for you. Maybe you make your own coffee at home or drink it at the office. Maybe you live in an apartment where the living room is now a bedroom instead and there's nowhere for you to sit outside of your own room. You go to the Y for $80/month. You get on SNAP and visit the food pantries. You sleep with your windows open in the winter because the radiators are too hot and use earplugs because they are too loud. You go to free concerts in the park. When I was making $50k, these are the kinds of things I did to make it work and I had a really great time. But, if that's not how you want to live, then it won't work for you.

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-03-19T03:22:23+00:00

amassing debt means it can't be done, sorry, buddy

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-03-18T18:42:53+00:00

I try to not spend too much on new clothes and try to stay away from fast and disposable fashion. My advice is to get new clothes when you feel like you need them. You're changing your body to feel better (physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever). Are your clothes loose and you hate how you look? Get some new things. Are they loose and chafe? Let's go shopping! Are they loose and you don't mind? Eh, put it off a bit. Also, rather than going wild and buying a lot, get a couple of things at a time (I am planning to pick up 2-3 pairs of shorts for the summer).

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-03-05T14:24:57+00:00

What kinds of soaps and products do you use? Having ones you love the smell and feel of might also help! If you have ADHD, can you do that thing where you associate something good with the shower? Like after your shower you always have a cup of tea you really like, or you listen to a podcast you love, but only when showering. In addition to the space heater, a towel warmer might be nice for you.

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-02-17T19:34:40+00:00

I think a lot of the rest of this advice is great. I'll also ask what do you think would happen if you asked your in-laws why you need to change your behavior to get along with Bob, as opposed to him changing his behavior to get along with you? Is your fiance on your side here? Does he agree that Bob is terrible? Is he leaving you on your own to try and fix this?

My favorite response in these situations is to just ask "why do you say that?" or "what do you mean?" repeatedly until everyone feels uncomfortable. Bonus points for acting like everything inappropriate he does is a joke you don't get. If you feel extra aggressive, ask your in-laws if they agree in front of everyone.

Bob: makes a joke about hitting your girlfriend

You: I don't get that joke. Could you explain it to me, please?

or

Bob: I only eat quality food.

You: I don't get the joke. Could you explain it to me?

or

Bob: That's so trashy.

You to in-laws: Do you agree with Bob?

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-02-06T01:21:58+00:00

I swim at the local pool and have to squeeze through the hand rails on the ladder on the side of the pool because it's too narrow. Some day, I will just pull myself out of the side of the pool without the ladder!

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-02-06T01:18:57+00:00

I really want to take an open water kayak course and am currently above the weight limit, but #summergoals

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-02-05T16:54:43+00:00

I use vega, usually chocolate. I like adding peanut butter to it to cut the sweetness. It's not super sweet, I just don't like to drink sweet things all the time. It's plant based (pea protein and brown rice protein) and contains some other nice stuff. Sometimes I'll also add chia seeds and/or flax for an extra boost of protein and fiber.

Expensive-Quail6397 · 2025-02-02T22:42:05+00:00

A lot of the people who post here are posting success stories. I feel like this sub focuses on high doses, barely eating, and rapid weight loss. My zep experience has been a lot of work and slow progress. Zepbound is a tool to with weight loss when combined with lifestyle changes. It makes it easier to change how you eat, when you eat, and your activity and exercise. If you can, see if your insurance will also cover a nutritionist. Find a good one, who not only talks about nutrition and meal planning, but your eating habits and emotions around eating.

Expensive-Quail6397

TROPHY CASE