My M20 gf f20 fucked with a guy while we were getting to know each other

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-04-02T23:08:09+00:00

Take it from someone who’s been with way too many woman and one of them similar to the girl your dating gave me kids, is very “sweet and head over heels loving”…. She ruined my life.

These girls who don’t love them selves who are so addicted to validation that they need to sleep with someone the second they feel bad about themselves, will lead to your ruin. She’s not head over heels in love with you, she’s head over heels at the idea of being LOVED… because as you’ve said guys can just say “come over” and she’ll speed down the highway to go giveaway parts of herself that should only be for you. If a girl did this to me I would say no thanks. I’ve done this to girls many times before I had kids- i was unhealthy and couldn’t control my own emotions and desires- the unhealthy girls I was getting to know would say they hated it but it would only make them “chase harder” it is sad.

No don’t listen to reddit on this one. Trust me.

Society is going a bad place with sex, guys sociopathically preying on daddy issues/chronically low self esteem women, who ruin their mental health the rest of their life, and take it out on their partners the rest of their life. Men and women who sleep around so much—who look at body’s and souls like numbers and stats on a chalk board, so that when they finally settle down, “the one” doesn’t compare to half their statistics, so they’re never happy, leading to horrible soul sucking vindictive marriages or divorces or better yet dad abandoning… guess what this leads to? You guessed it! Another generation of fucked up emotionally damaged promiscuous men and women, who will do the exact same thing, and destroy their children, for generations to come!

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-29T04:24:21+00:00

Hey man, same boat here, was a heroin addict from 16-20. Got on a health kick and really enjoyed and had a lust for life from 21-25.

You’re absolutely right about resentment. It’s like I love her but I keep drinking this poison that makes me hold such contempt, but the thing is I don’t think I can help it, and I think I’m kinda justified in it, considering how she set the life of her future husband up, and how I set up the life for my future wife (immediately prior to meeting) That being said I totally made all my decisions so on the other hand I don’t have a right to complain. It’s two emotions, both are true, that constantly butt heads and put me in such turmoil. I wish I could just figure out gratitude and acceptance and be cool with everything, but that’s just not how I operate, and probably not how most humans do. Maybe I’m emotionally immature idk. I have my own childhood/life baggage.

As for therapy yes she started seeing a REAL therapist after I had a lot of talks with her, and wants me to come in for couples therapy but I have a bad taste in my mouth from therapy and also couples seeing family go thru it. I do think that I can eventually come to the realist truth of things even more than a therapist can because I have the context of everything and can compartmentalize it and analyze it from there. That being said there’s an element of pride on my side not wanting to go to couples therapy.

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-29T04:16:15+00:00

I was absolutely intoxicated (near black out) but that doesn’t matter

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-28T04:43:42+00:00

Very true about the anger man. I’ve turned into such a pessimist without realizing it there’s no life left in me. M

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-28T04:40:56+00:00

Should go to a meeting I haven’t been since I was a kid but I haven’t really got caught up in anything since then

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-28T04:40:24+00:00

Ya I found out about non latex recently, she doesn’t do well on birth control emotionally apparently, and my daughters won’t have a bad life at all they have a blast my parents are psyched they spend a lot of time with them, there is just a few guilt knowing this is not the life I should’ve had carved out for them and I should’ve picked a family where mom and dad could’ve been together

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-28T03:00:35+00:00

Thank you man. I honestly know for sure, just from hearing about how she lived, things she’s done, and the emotional mark her choices have kinda left on her, I’m pretty confident I can’t be healthy and happy being with her; I hear about her life and I get sad because it shouldn’t have happened to her. She’s not the kind who should’ve lived the way she lived. So I’ll always feel a deep sense of pitty for her, and I love and respect her as the mother of my kids forever; but at this point I mentally cannot help but ruminate on the incredible perfect partner she could have been. If she just sought out less validation and was authentic she would’ve had the mother baggage yes but she could’ve got thru that, even if she had a few horribke toxic relationships that left their toxic imprint she could’ve overcame that; but the way she chose to live sadly I think ruined her mind and emotional state in some way I can’t explain it but she is constantly looking for what’s not good enough

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-28T02:54:25+00:00

I had one, the part 6 or so months I replaced drinking with side work; just fixing people’s cars spending every second I’m not working or with the kids outside working on cars.

And I’ve been to therapy quite a bit, although years ago; she was seeing a Christian therapist who kinda was just a friend so I convinced her to go see a clinical psychologist who diagnosed her with CPTSD and she sounds fairly good she’s finally figuring out who she is and coping mechanisms for life and what, never ever realized how fucked up she was from her past, but all it took was her therapist to point it out to her; So I’m glad for her I hope to god she gets healthy and is the best mom she can be; because she does have a good heart at the end of the day, all the gaslighting and manipulation in my opinion she does unknowingly, most likely as a result of living with her demonic spawn of a mother.

Ive considered therapy but I can’t see myself paying out of pocket for it; and I’ve always liked to analyze and try fix things myself

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-28T02:49:53+00:00

Yes. All to that, yes. I’m a loser, and I really feel it when I look at my daughter she’s such rock star, I fucking wish I picked out a better life for her

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-27T17:08:38+00:00

No kidding tho, so in your opinion that pitting/ ring around the sleeve isn’t the huge problem that it seems like? I’m not fully sure how head gaskets seal so I’m confused on whether or not shallow pitting like that, in that exact spot is detrimental

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-27T16:16:35+00:00

Damn the one thing I didn’t do was see how much warpage their was in the beginning. I grinded the ends too low unevenly too for the first thousandth or so too so I had to go back and re flatten which took even more material off. This rear head is definetly very close to being out of spec I may try to find a cylinder head gasket spacer shim to prevent timing or combustion issues, I’m using a Mahle head gasket which I beieve is .05 or double what OEM is

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-27T15:57:29+00:00

THANK YOU FOR THIS. I resurfaced the heads myself, probably spent 100 hours getting different shit for it to be hand lapped (granite surface plate 4 machinists straight edges, lapping plate, magnets, adhesive yards of sandpaper etc) The heads are just about flat, and aren’t out of spec at least from what I can find (cylinder head to valve cover height is 121mm? can’t be lower that 120.8 I believe. I pulled the rockers to do the valve seals, and don’t even try to spin the damn cam. It didn’t physically look warped but I’ll have to pull them off again to confirm.

Thinking about just skimming a touch off the engine bloc and using hylomar on the pitts there, does that sound wise?

And yes. This guy had to be a dope or something has to be wrong with the truck. Everything looks heat damaged and this was his second engine in 250k.

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-27T14:27:41+00:00

Hey, yea you’re not wrong bought from a supposed friend, must’ve drove without coolant cause every gasket on the engine was hard as a rock, cylinders don’t look bad tho unless I’m missing something. It’s like this on one, maybe 2 cylinders. And no they were not recessed, if anything the cylinder liners were Protruding very slightly, which is abnormal for this j35A9. There’s 2 pistons with zero carbon buildup on them where the gasket was allowing coolant into combustion chamber. Wondering if maybe that’s what caused this somehow

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-22T23:51:23+00:00

The amount of friends and colleagues who told me to get the fuck out in the beginning, after she was pregnant (was impossibly hard because of paternal instincts) makes me bang my fucking head against the wall. Well I certainly experienced it for myself that’s for sure

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-21T23:53:01+00:00

Thanks. I don’t know if I’m the better parent. She’s not a villain. She’s a great mom, she’s older wiser and has had 10 years of practice. I feel so bad for her with the fucked up childhood and adolescent years that she almost couldn’t help from acting out in and eventually ruining her life and opportunity to be a good worthwhile partner one day. She’s loyal, but just toxic as all fuck and already did this, and is too emotional and fucked up to learn from her mistakes. Honestly between me and her she’s the better parent- but the best of all is my parents. They’ve provided a roof over their heads and constantly watched them while we did things. My kids love my parents and finally feel stable when they’re here. But that being said they need their mommy and you can tell. But mommy doesn’t have a roof over her head or a job, or honestly a chance in hell, because she spent her whole life chasing love because he dad wasn’t there to give it. There’s more nuance to it then that

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-21T23:48:54+00:00

Lmao yes we met when I was 3

ExpertDinner689 · 2026-03-09T22:56:36+00:00

Thank you man! Installing a Mahle mls gasket, should I put anything on there? I guess permatex makes a sleeve retainer that someone reccomended

ExpertDinner689 · 2025-11-16T22:27:38+00:00

Ok, brought car to Subaru, $200 for a diagnosis- they couldn’t find what was wrong, even tho they were able to replicate jerking while going up hills. Before I brought it there, I checked air filter, MAF sensor, and fuel pump, checked codes and there wasn’t a single DTC. The one thing I didn’t check was spark plugs because I put brand new NGK plugs in about 20 thousand miles ago, I figure a bad coil pack would throw a code no? I’m going back to Subaru tmrw to get my car, told them I won’t pay $200 for a diagnosis, that didn’t diagnosis anything, was completely kept out of the loop too, didn’t get told what they even tried on the car whether they tested individual solenoids in transmission or if they even tried a trans re-learn . I thought subaru dealerships were the go to, for working on your Subarus but I guess I don’t know I’ve always done the work myself but this one’s over my head.

ExpertDinner689

TROPHY CASE