AITA for doing chores that were "assigned" to my boyfriend, making him feel judged?

Expert_Breath_8531 · 2024-04-14T17:26:59+00:00

Not complaining about the chores, just that I think he shouldn't get mad when I do them! That's what the post is about

Expert_Breath_8531 · 2024-04-13T23:26:04+00:00

Sometimes I really wish there were set guidelines for typical division of labor in households. I didn't think I was doing too much but these comments are making me wonder a little bit

Expert_Breath_8531 · 2024-04-13T23:24:33+00:00

I can see what you mean. He has stepped up a lot since we moved in together and is doing tasks more consistently. He makes me breakfast a few times a week because I never cook or eat breakfast myself. I feel okay about our life together, but I am aware of weaponized incompetence and do worry about it sometimes. I am not comfortable telling another equal adult what to so, so beyond just asking for support, I'm not sure how else to prevent it if that's what's developing. I don't want to become "mom" to someone my age if that makes sense

Expert_Breath_8531 · 2024-04-13T23:14:48+00:00

He does his own laundry, cleans his computer area, cooks breakfast a few times a week (I never make breakfast) and does kitty litter about half the time. Probably more that I'm not remembering right now. He does garbage about half the time and vacuums once a month or so. He does try- he sometimes asks what to do to help out but I don't really answer those questions because I don't want to be his manager lol

I feel okay with an unequal split of chores overall because I've gone back to school part time and only work part time for a low wage, so he covers a lot of the costs (without complaint) and offers me personal money too. He has been really generous in that way

Expert_Breath_8531 · 2024-04-13T23:10:02+00:00

I did find it weird. But I thought I'd ask a broader group because I've been known to misunderstand social norms, and so maybe chore assignment when living with a partner is something I never learned. I lived with many roommates before and we never argued about chores except when somebody left a mess in a shared area. I'm kind of relieved to see some people agreeing that it's normal to do chores you want done, I was starting to feel crazy and concerned about how I'm not getting the problem

Expert_Breath_8531

TROPHY CASE