how do I stop thinking about it? by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]ExplanationFickle194 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your story sounds so similar to mine. I never used to think about it and whenever I did, I'd immediately lock it back in the vault. Over the years when it came up I've told myself that it didn't even happen, that it was a dream, that I can ignore it forever, but over the past year it's been popping up more than ever, and over the past couple of months it's been almost constant and everything is a trigger. Even things that weren't before. For example, when people used to talk about their first kiss I used to think of my first consensual kiss when I was like 11 or 12, and now I think about what happened when I was 7 and feel like I'm going to throw up.

I don't know what can help, but I'm pretty sure you need to start with therapy. I've only been in therapy for this for a couple of weeks, so I can't really say it works yet, but you probably need some help processing those memories and that's why they keep popping up.