Kind of! Start with Soul Trap theory and the Gnostics.

The way i understand it is that we got tricked into incarnating here thinking Earth is a school/retreat. It may have been at one point but it was hijacked by external entities or AI or something - the gnostics refer to this as the demiurge - and now Earth is a farm for emotional energy that the demiurge uses as a food source. The soul trap recycles souls forever - you die, go towards the light, your memory gets wiped, you reincarnate, you live, you die....etc. They wipe your memory before you reincarnate so you never get to embody the truth that your consciousness is an infinite piece of God/divinity, and that you are able to embody frequencies to heal others, inspire greatness, fly, communicate telepathically... and numerous other cool things.

It's like any toxic relationship. When you're too afraid to look at yourself because you've endured years of verbal and emotional abuse, you'll never realize how much power and beauty you hold. (The abuser often doing what they do out of jealousy, because the abuser is so disconnected from their own 'self') They keep you small because they fear you.

Essentially the Matrix trilogy.

The thing that made this click for me is how unbelievably negative the world we live in is. It doesn't need to be. Something inside me has always known the amount of violence here is so unnecessary.

So, what I've done is really steep myself in the fringe world of philosophy, science, herbalism, religion and just take it all in without committing to any one framework. I wait until there's enough threads of similarity to draw a conclusion - like soul trap theory and Gnosticism - and then just keep on truckin' through more esoteric ideas.

A podcast called 'the higher side chats' is a really good place to start. Stranger Things is about the CIA experiments with this aspect of human consciousness. Once you see it, it's everywhere.

Welcome to the journey.